Naive about the "professional" horse world

[Shirland Farm]

I applied for a grooming and hacking job in the back of the chronicle. I called and then sent detailed emails about my riding history and sent videos and pictures.

The person who placed the ad seemed to like what I had sent and asked me to come meet with her over the thanksgiving holiday. I drove 3 hours to her farm, met with her and took one of her horses out cross country. I thought we got along wonderfully. At the end of our visit she said "I would love you have you come work for me" and I, trying to contain my excitement said "I would love to but I need to speak with my husband first" and she responded with "please think about it"

I spent the next 3 hours on the way home discussing this with my husband and we decided I should take the job. I further discussed the offer with my mother and was finally ready to accept. It was about 11pm at that point so I emailed rather than call to accept the position. Next I emailed my resignation to my current boss.

They very next day I got an email from the woman looking for the groom saying she now didn't think I was right for the job (then why did you offer it to me??????)

so now I've annoyed my husband, my mother, and LOST MY CURRENT JOB.

I really wish she had not offered me the job in the first place.

Is this just whatt I can expect from people in the horse world?

signed, very disappointed....

[jse]

I applied for a grooming and hacking job in the back of the chronicle. I called and then sent detailed emails about my riding history and sent videos and pictures.

The person who placed the ad seemed to like what I had sent and asked me to come meet with her over the thanksgiving holiday. I drove 3 hours to her farm, met with her and took one of her horses out cross country. I thought we got along wonderfully. At the end of our visit she said "I would love you have you come work for me" and I, trying to contain my excitement said "I would love to but I need to speak with my husband first" and she responded with "please think about it"

I spent the next 3 hours on the way home discussing this with my husband and we decided I should take the job. I further discussed the offer with my mother and was finally ready to accept. It was about 11pm at that point so I emailed rather than call to accept the position. Next I emailed my resignation to my current boss.

They very next day I got an email from the woman looking for the groom saying she now didn't think I was right for the job (then why did you offer it to me??????)

so now I've annoyed my husband, my mother, and LOST MY CURRENT JOB.

I really wish she had not offered me the job in the first place.

Is this just want I can expect from people in the horse world?

signed, very disappointed....
Contact your previous employer and try and explain it to them, it's possible they would take you back.
That's really crummy....I mean...REALLY REALLY crummy. In fact, I believe when you offer someone a job you should be sure you really want them to work for you.

[Shirland Farm]

you are absolutely right, but sadly, due to the the sensitive nature of my last job they will not be having me back.

[hedmbl]

That's horrible. I would be tempted to inform the trainer about what happened. Did she give any explanation about why she changed her mind?

[Dixon]

Just a thought for the future -- best to communicate about jobs live on the phone, if not in person, rather than via email. Especially in the horse world, where people don't sit at computers checking email all day/evening, low-tech old fashioned communication is more of a sure thing. It is possible that she did not see your emailed acceptance before someone else accepted (possibly a prior offer before you came along). Who knows. But same with an emailed resignation -- a phone call or meeting may have prevented the burning of that bridge.

[Tiffani B]

I have a different perspective - playing Devil's Advocate a bit here...

Years ago, I was interviewing candidates for a position. Part of the interview process included discussion of things like "when can you start?", "these are the benefits and salary we're offering" etc. Normal questions and conversation any employer will have with a potential employee.

After making our decision, I called the interviewees who we decided weren't going to work out, and thanked them for their time and told them we were going with someone else.

One of the candidates FREAKED OUT! She started crying and told me she had already quit her job and given her notice to her apartment complex that she would be moving, because she had assumed, from the questions I was asking, that the job was hers.

She was fresh out of college, and this was her first interview, so she had much to learn...

But my point is, are you sure you were actually OFFERED a job? Someone saying "I wish you could start NOW" isn't a job offer... were terms actually NEGOTIATED and AGREED UPON? A salary and benefits hammered out? Hours and days off? Benefits? Your official title? Starting date?

If all of this was done, and you said yes with one caveat (talk to DH), then she had an obligation to wait until she heard from you, before hiring someone else. If not, then perhaps you jumped the gun.

Either way, I'm sorry you're in this situation and I hope it works out for the best. You never know what fate REALLY intends! :)

[Evalee Hunter]

. . . . But my point is, are you sure you were actually OFFERED a job? Someone saying "I wish you could start NOW" isn't a job offer... were terms actually NEGOTIATED and AGREED UPON? A salary and benefits hammered out? Hours and days off? Benefits? Your official title? Starting date?

If all of this was done, and you said yes with one caveat (talk to DH), then she had an obligation to wait until she heard from you, before hiring someone else. If not, then perhaps you jumped the gun. . . .

Depending on the state, you may be incorrect. I know for sure that in Delaware, under Delaware law, someone can offer you a job, even have you sign a contract & then withdraw the offer. An employer in Delaware has no obligation what-so-ever to a potential employee - don't even have to tell you "sorry" as they fire you before you ever start work. An employer in DE can legally offer you a certain salary (in writing) & then pay you a different salary when you start working. I know all this because it has happened to me & the Department of Labor assured me it was entirely legal in DE.

[Madison]

That's a terrible situation to end up in. I'm sympathetic to your plight because yours was not an unreasonable assumption since the offer had been extended, but unfortunately it illustrates why you don't resign from an existing job until you have all of the details hammered out and confirmed for the new job. Your old job would have been none the wiser if you had waited a little longer to resign. Still stinks that they backed out on the offer, but you have to protect yourself. On the devil's advocate front, who knows what could have happened on the trainer's end - they could have had clients leave, or a source of income fall through, or something that impacted their ability to hire you, but not have wanted to air that fact publicly. Good luck - I'm sure this must be horribly frustrating!

[Tiffani B]

Depending on the state, you may be incorrect. I know for sure that in Delaware, under Delaware law, someone can offer you a job, even have you sign a contract & then withdraw the offer. An employer in Delaware has no obligation what-so-ever to a potential employee - don't even have to tell you "sorry" as they fire you before you ever start work. An employer in DE can legally offer you a certain salary (in writing) & then pay you a different salary when you start working. I know all this because it has happened to me & the Department of Labor assured me it was entirely legal in DE.

I'm sorry if what I wrote came out wrong. I wasn't speaking "legally" but "ethically". If someone offers you a job, they are ethically obligated to follow through on it. Legally, that's another story.

But, other people's ethics can often leave much to be desired. :(

[Shirland Farm]

luckily for me, money is not an issue and heck, I would have done the grooming job for free just to add it to my resume. At any rate, I've learned my lesson....verbal aggreements mean nothing...

[Evalee Hunter]

. . . . But, other people's ethics can often leave much to be desired. :(

It might interest you to know the company in my story was E.I. Dupont de Nemours.

[Tiffani B]

That's why I like working for small companies... the owner is the person you deal with, and who is really in charge and directly responsible for what goes on.

[Percheron X]

I applied for a grooming and hacking job in the back of the chronicle. I called and then sent detailed emails about my riding history and sent videos and pictures.

The person who placed the ad seemed to like what I had sent and asked me to come meet with her over the thanksgiving holiday. I drove 3 hours to her farm, met with her and took one of her horses out cross country. I thought we got along wonderfully. At the end of our visit she said "I would love you have you come work for me" and I, trying to contain my excitement said "I would love to but I need to speak with my husband first" and she responded with "please think about it"

I spent the next 3 hours on the way home discussing this with my husband and we decided I should take the job. I further discussed the offer with my mother and was finally ready to accept. It was about 11pm at that point so I emailed rather than call to accept the position. Next I emailed my resignation to my current boss.

They very next day I got an email from the woman looking for the groom saying she now didn't think I was right for the job (then why did you offer it to me??????)

so now I've annoyed my husband, my mother, and LOST MY CURRENT JOB.

I really wish she had not offered me the job in the first place.

Is this just whatt I can expect from people in the horse world?

signed, very disappointed....

If she was initially that impressed with you, then someone else will be too, so keep on looking, you will find the right job.

[galwaybay]

Here's my take on it - if I was an employer and interviewed a potential employee who I really like and would love to hire and they said "I need to discuss this with my husband first" sorry, I would have to rethink this - why? First, one would assume as a married couple you would have already discussed the possibility of this job, that it's 3 hours away etc... and I am not saying at all that you shouldn't and wouldn't want to discuss this with your spouse - of course you would. - I'm just saying that those type of comments you need to keep to yourself. Since you drove 3 hours away - it seems to me that even though she really liked you and might be perfect for the job, that it would be hard on a relationship and chances are you wouldn't last long there...

Another note - many employers during the interview process (as tiffaniB said) say things like when can you start, we'd love to have you work here...- that is not necessarily a bonafide job offer. Sadly just because you emailed her saying, yes, I would love to work for you - you really did need to wait for her reply before resigning from your other job...this type of thing happens in all industries and not just w/ employment. I book riding vacations - in the last month, I've had 12 people say they wanted to book holidays... guess what - all of them booked other vacations... c'est la vie...

[gloryeyes]

Depending on the state, you may be incorrect. I know for sure that in Delaware, under Delaware law, someone can offer you a job, even have you sign a contract & then withdraw the offer. An employer in Delaware has no obligation what-so-ever to a potential employee - don't even have to tell you "sorry" as they fire you before you ever start work. An employer in DE can legally offer you a certain salary (in writing) & then pay you a different salary when you start working. I know all this because it has happened to me & the Department of Labor assured me it was entirely legal in DE.

Classsssy! Sometimes I love my state. :rolleyes: :D

[pwynnnorman]

Originally Posted by Evalee Hunter http://www.chronicleforums.com/Forum/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.chronicleforums.com/Forum/showthread.php?p=3698167#post3698167)
Depending on the state, you may be incorrect. I know for sure that in Delaware, under Delaware law, someone can offer you a job, even have you sign a contract & then withdraw the offer. An employer in Delaware has no obligation what-so-ever to a potential employee - don't even have to tell you "sorry" as they fire you before you ever start work. An employer in DE can legally offer you a certain salary (in writing) & then pay you a different salary when you start working. I know all this because it has happened to me & the Department of Labor assured me it was entirely legal in DE.


Classsssy! Sometimes I love my state. :rolleyes: :D

Is Delaware officially a "right to work" state? That's a glimpse at the world to come, folks--and why so many automakers have put factories in the south. Increasingly, states are attracting business by making it perfectly legal to treat workers like crap. Maybe that'll make us more competitive on the global scene, but it's also one of those practices that make the rich richer and the poor poorer, alas.

[DevilsAdvocateDC]

I am sorry for you, that is too bad. If you made a good impression on that professional I am sure you will make the same good impression on another professional. Keep interviewing. See what happens.

I am confused about the chronology. Over thanksgiving break (a holiday) you drove 3 hours to ride with the professional (with your husband going with you? He was in the car on the way home so I assume yes he went on the ride and interview). You rode and liked the professional and thought the professional offered you a job. You left at 8pm, discussed the job with your husband on the ride home, and then got home at 11pm and emailed the professional to accept the job.

When did you quit your current job? Sometime when you were driving home after 8pm, after business hours on THANKSGIVING BREAK? Someone with authority was actually at your current job to take this email, on a holiday, after business hours? That seems... odd... Not the best way to handle quitting a job. I would not quit any job this way, it's not professional.

Its also strange to accept a job on email. Always call. There are always details to be worked out. That makes sure you and the employer are on the same page. Calling at 9am the day after an interview shows the same interest as emailing at 11pm the day of the interview, only emailing makes you seem unprofessional. Either you were ready to accept on the spot or call the professional the next business day during normal working hours. Emails is not the way to handle things.

Also, it's a bit strange to go on job interviews with your husband. And then, even with him there, not be able to commit to accepting the job because you have to talk with him? I am wondering if this made the pro think you were wishy washy or else that your husband was not on board with you taking the job? In the future, I would not bring your husband and have the discussions before you even ride with the professional. I know it’s a riding job, but this is not the way to go into an interview.

Best of luck finding something, I am sure you will. Use this as a learning experience for the next interview. I am posting as an alter because I am little worried you’ll take my post negatively. It really is meant as constructive criticism for the next interview. I hope you find an ever better job than the one that was offered.

[hedmbl]

Also, it's a bit strange to go on job interviews with your husband. And then, even with him there, not be able to commit to accepting the job because you have to talk with him? .


I think she called her husband on the way home from the interview. Cell phones are useful ;)

I do agree that not accepting when she offered the job then and there may have been a mistake. Why would someone drive 3 hours to an interview and then say they need to discuss it with their husband before accepting? That's something that should have been done prior.

[MLP]

First off I want to say Dupont OWNS Delaware, so I am sure whatever they say, is Law ;) And MANY companies incorporate there for legal and tax reasons, good thing it is so small... As for the interview, as I was once told, the less said the better, you could have easily just said, I am very interested, I will use my ride home to think about it and call you when I get back. Would it be ok to call you that late, either yes or no, if no then ASK what is the best way and time to get back to you. Then you go off and discuss with your husband. I know relationships ARE important, but if you are a groom, I don't know lets say with a show barn on the road, you are going to have to consult your husband before going to tha Hampton's for a week, SORRY - NO, you aren't the right candidate. I think that's how it came across. Be glad money isn't the issue, go get your own horses and work for yourself, pick and pay a good trainer and do it right.

[baleofhay]

To the OP-who is Shirland Farm? If that is your family's place (and it looks lovely!) why would you be looking for a job somewhere else?

[Giddy-up]

I'm sorry. This is a bummer & even worse your old job won't take you back. But lessons learned here & moving on.

I am confused--I know they said they wanted you to work there, but did they actually discuss salary, hours, etc... to offer a job?? To me being told they love me is not a job offer I need to accept on the spot. I've been told that many times & no way would I accept just based on them saying that. I need more information such as salary, hours, benefits before I would consider it. And I don't think saying let me call tomorrow morning is unreasonable--imagine if they want an answer on the spot how they might be to work for? Finally you shouldn't have quit your current job until you had more assurance that the new job was going to actually happen, but you know that now. I interviewed & was hired at my new job & I had even gave notice already at my current work. Then 9/11 happened. I called the "new" job to confirm they were still hiring me just in case things had changed.

I don't think anything that happened to you is just a "horse world" thing. I think that any of that can happen at any job during the interview process.

[kellyb]

I'm very sorry to hear about this...but never, ever, quit your job until you are 100% certain you have another one...just emailing and saying, "yes I want it" is not enough confirmation...

[Pregreen]

Shirland,
I had to register just to respond to this post, a GROOM? Are you kidding me?
Come back to PA, buy a nice farm and become the professional that you should have become years ago. Hell, I'd even start taking lessons again :lol:

[gottagrey]

Is Delaware officially a "right to work" state? That's a glimpse at the world to come, folks--and why so many automakers have put factories in the south. Increasingly, states are attracting business by making it perfectly legal to treat workers like crap. Maybe that'll make us more competitive on the global scene, but it's also one of those practices that make the rich richer and the poor poorer, alas.

Delaware IS NOT a Right To Work State - There are only 22 States which are Right to Work States - and I'm sorry pwynnorman but why are you saying it's a glimpse at the world to come? Many of the Dems are hot to trot on passing the Card Check Bill (from the US Chamber of Commerce website" eliminating the ability of employees to make an informed decision in private. Instead, employee decisions on unionization would be made in front of union organizers greatly increasing the opportunity for coercion and pressure in the union organizing process), which effectively will give more power to Unions; also do not confuse Right to Work State Laws and laws with Labor Laws (as previous poster discussed DE labor law) - Right to Work State Laws basically say"No person shall be required by an employer to become or remain a member of any labor union or labor organization as a condition of employment or continuation of employment by such employer" Maybe Jimmy Hoffa can give us more insight - now where is he again?? Maybe Tony Soprano knows.. And not to worry - here in VA Rep. Jim Moran set those silly horrible rich people straight when he stated recently " ...guided by a Republican administration who believes in this simplistic notion that people who have wealth are entitled to keep it" anyway I am digressing... if we're lucky barn workers, grooms, horse show personnel etc will unionize...

to the OP - this type of thing is not limited to the horse world - it can occur in any type of business and also in social situations - gee I would love to have you live in our group house - whoops sorry but we loved someone more.. happens all the time. Cheer-up, chalk it up to experience.

[Blinky]

for sure.
But I don't see where you were actually offered the job. The wife mentioned she would love having you work there but needed to check with her husband first wasn't an offer but rather a comment that that she was interested and you were in the running.

[Giddy-up]

for sure.
But I don't see where you were actually offered the job. The wife mentioned she would love having you work there but needed to check with her husband first wasn't an offer but rather a comment that that she was interested and you were in the running.

It was the OP who said she needed to speak with her husband first, not the person offering the job. :)

[hollyhorse2000]

I don't consider a job offer official until I've accepted the job verbally and spoken directly to the employer with a confirmed start time, salary, etc. IMHO, the OP wasn't offered a job until that occurred (and therefore should NOT have quit her current job). If someone looking at your for-sale-horse said "I'd love to buy your horse" do you consider that an official offer? I wouldn't . . .

I also don't think this is a reflection "on the horse world." I think this was a misunderstanding between a potential employee and potential employer . . .

On the bright side, maybe this is a "meant to be" situation and the OP will find herself ultimately in a better situation.

[Mayaty02]

unfortunately you have to chalk it up as a life lesson learned....never, ever, quit your job until you have something in writing from the new company outlining the offer and start date. Anything can happen, and maybe the woman you met with met someone else later that day that she liked more. It happens....or maybe she decided not to hire anyone right now. It's not just the horse world, it's the work world. Best of luck to you :)

[Shirland Farm]

I undertand where everyone is coming from but really I didn't expect to be signing a contract for a 3 month grooming job at WEF. I (incorrectly) assumed a verbal aggrement was enough. And I doubt the woman that was hired in my place signed a contract. (and really, do all those illegal grooms at wef get signed contracts?)

I was offered the job.

I even confirmed that fact over email with the employer.

In person we discussed, hours, pay, living arrangements etc and she said she wanted me to take the position. I said I would get back to her ASAP after I consulted with my husband (as the position would require me to be away for 3 months) Anyway...moving on. I'm just really disappointed because I was SO SO SO SO EXCITED to take the job (honestly I was about ready to leave my other job anyway.....6 years on wall street has been enough for me).

To PREGREEN... you crack me up! I rode Miss Meg over Turkey day and we even popped over a few fences. SO MUCH FUN!

[galwaybay]

In your original post you didn't say anything about the location only that you drove 3 hours; you also didn't say it was a 3 month gig...as a few of us mentioned - Telling the perspective employer you needed to discuss first w/ your husband would have sent a red flag to potential employer - it comes off as wasting their time - yes THEIR time, and again, there might have been a couple of very qualified candidates, the other one didn't say they needed to checked w/ dearest first, and they also could have gotten cold feet feeling that you would not last the 3 months being away from hubby that long -

if you spent 6 years on Wallstreet, I would think you would have a bit more business savvy and 2nd, I really hope you did not email your Wallstreet employer to resign...

[Shirland Farm]

In your original post you didn't say anything about the location only that you drove 3 hours; you also didn't say it was a 3 month gig...as a few of us mentioned - Telling the perspective employer you needed to discuss first w/ your husband would have sent a red flag to potential employer - it comes off as wasting their time - yes THEIR time, and again, there might have been a couple of very qualified candidates, the other one didn't say they needed to checked w/ dearest first, and they also could have gotten cold feet feeling that you would not last the 3 months being away from hubby that long -

if you spent 6 years on Wallstreet, I would think you would have a bit more business savvy and 2nd, I really hope you did not email your Wallstreet employer to resign...

Here are the details. I live in NYC. Employer lives in VA. I drove 3 hours from my parents farm in VA where I was visiting for Turkey day to her farm to ride and meet with her. In the VERY FIRST EMAIL I sent her I said I was married. So she knew from the get go... along with every other detail of my life that I included in the many emails I sent her. Meanhwile, she was the one who again, after I said I need to speak with my husband said, "please think about it and let me know" when my husband walked into the stable for us to leave.

She offered the job.
I accepted.
And then she back peddled.

As for how I left my Wall Street Employer. I was the head equiy trader at the firm. When someone in such a sensative position (where a disgruntled employee could lose the firm hundreds of millions of dollars in a day) gives two weeks they are immediately removed from the trading floor, which you would know if you worked on Wall Street and you knew my position. So there is no use going in. So I emailed my direct boss and sent two lettters of resignation to the firm. I went in on Monday anyway... and tuesday b/c they asked me to come back to consider staying for the balance of the year... but with bonuses they way they are this year it wasn't worth it to me to work another month for them.

But, I don't see how this has anything to do with my former job that I was going to leave anyway (just maybe not right this second). In fact, maybe I didn't need to go be somebody's groom for 3 months. So far I'm enjoying being a house wife (although I'm sure I'll bore of it soon).

[Dixon]

We understand. Wall Street and the entire national financial sector is laying people off like crazy, so the prospect of going off to work the horse show circuit for 3 months sounded like a nice change. Perhaps you were motivated to leave your high-paying job by accepting a severance package offeredy by your employer, and once you took it, you couldn't untake it. We all get that itch to leave the daily office grind to work with horses.

[DevilsAdvocateDC]

If you had already given your Wall Street job 2 weeks notice before you even went to meet the professional, then you certainly didn't quit that job based on anything the professional said to you when you met her. Which is what your first message said. Don't blame the professional for your present job being unavailable. You quit (I am sure for good reason) and that had nothing to do with the professional or anything that was said when you went to ride.

Lessons learned (not specific to the horse world).

Don't get overly personal with your boss/job (the professional didn't need to know about your husband, family, social life. That just gave the professional a reason to think you were wishy washy and not committed).

Don't bring family members to job interviews. It is just not professional. Doesn't matter what the job is. Don't do it.

Either be prepared to commit to a job when you go there, or else make arrangements to speak to the boss the next day and be very clear about whether there is a job offer or there just might be a job offer coming later.

For short term jobs that start soon (WEF is coming up and you were only going to work for 3 months) you need to decide ahead of time what you want to do. If the boss is telling you what you'll earn, what the benefits are, and your start date then you need to be able to say yes and not have to come back.

You sound very intelligent and probably overqualified. Consider it a life lesson. Next time you'll do everything right and get the job.

[Shirland Farm]

Thanks to everyone who has been supportive and who understood my need to vent after a HUGE let down.

However, I am very surprirsed my the number of people defending this woman's actions... which pretty much confirms my assumptions about the "professional" horse world.

[Shirland Farm]

If you had already given your Wall Street job 2 weeks notice before you even went to meet the professional, then you certainly didn't quit that job based on anything the professional said to you when you met her. Which is what your first message said. Don't blame the professional for your present job being unavailable. You quit (I am sure for good reason) and that had nothing to do with the professional or anything that was said when you went to ride.

Lessons learned (not specific to the horse world).

Don't get overly personal with your boss/job (the professional didn't need to know about your husband, family, social life. That just gave the professional a reason to think you were wishy washy and not committed).

Don't bring family members to job interviews. It is just not professional. Doesn't matter what the job is. Don't do it.

Either be prepared to commit to a job when you go there, or else make arrangements to speak to the boss the next day and be very clear about whether there is a job offer or there just might be a job offer coming later.

For short term jobs that start soon (WEF is coming up and you were only going to work for 3 months) you need to decide ahead of time what you want to do. If the boss is telling you what you'll earn, what the benefits are, and your start date then you need to be able to say yes and not have to come back.

You sound very intelligent and probably overqualified. Consider it a life lesson. Next time you'll do everything right and get the job.

The employer, said that I should bring a family member with me to her farm for the meeting so that I wouldn't have to be away from my family for an entire day during the Thanksgiving holiday and so that I wouldn't have to endure the 6 hour car ride alone. I was dropped off and the only time she saw him when was he came in to pick me up. I never would have taken anyone, but since she suggested it ( i assume to ease her guilt from asking me to leave my family over the holiday, of which she should have had none).

Anyway, in an attempt to put a nail in this coffin, I emailed her to ask for some feed back and this is the response I recieved, my comments are in blue.

"Hi Jane. I'm sorry if all this has put you in an awkward position. I absolutely do not think you would be unable to care for my horses. Rather, I think the job I have would not be the best for you because in many ways you would be overqualified. I'm afraid you would be disappointed to make such a major life change for a grooming job (I don't understand how 3 months is life change but I guess for some people it is). I also think it would be hard on Peter (she doesn't even know Peter!). Even if he came down on the weekends you'd be working.

Of the 20 plus people who have called me about this job so far you were definitely among the top 3 and the only ones I wanted to meet. I think you could do better for yourself and be happier in another position (I agree with this, knowing what she knows, but I had a bigger longer term plan in mind). Maybe at a bigger barn based closer to NY the rest of the year where you could do more schooling, teaching etc."

[Giddy-up]

Anyway, in an attempt to put a nail in this coffin, I emailed her to ask for some feed back and this is the response I recieved, my comments are in blue.

"Hi Jane. I'm sorry if all this has put you in an awkward position. I absolutely do not think you would be unable to care for my horses. Rather, I think the job I have would not be the best for you because in many ways you would be overqualified. I'm afraid you would be disappointed to make such a major life change for a grooming job (I don't understand how 3 months is life change but I guess for some people it is). I also think it would be hard on Peter (she doesn't even know Peter!). Even if he came down on the weekends you'd be working.

Of the 20 plus people who have called me about this job so far you were definitely among the top 3 and the only ones I wanted to meet. I think you could do better for yourself and be happier in another position (I agree with this, knowing what she knows, but I had a bigger longer term plan in mind). Maybe at a bigger barn based closer to NY the rest of the year where you could do more schooling, teaching etc."

It sounds like she liked you, but she found somebody else she liked better (for what ever reason). Those comments were probably just a nice way (in her eyes) of justifying why you didn't get the job.

[findeight]

I am sure many were unclear a firm job offer was made based on what you said she said in your original post...because you did not say anything about settling on a firm start date, salary, housing or anything else. And you did say you could not accept without talking to hubby.

Only later in the post did you say a firm job offer was made.

Think she probably found somebody she liked better or, maybe, somebody known to her already became available suddenly. Whatever, she should have waited on you. But she didn't.

Doubt this reflects in the Pro horse world in anything. EXCEPT....most of the female help that does not work out fails because of family commitments and/or issues with SOs that often can result in reliability or attendance issues. I would not mention having to talk to anybody prior to accepting any type position. In or out of the horse world...you know before the interview what is involved and if this person had had the usual experiences with help failing due to SO or family, she might have had second thoughts.

She was wrong but....can see where she might have changed her mind.

[Shirland Farm]

Thank you, my parents farm is wonderful. But there arent too many jobs out there for my husband at this time.

[Halfhalt08]

I am also somewhat appalled by the respond toward the OP. Coming from the finance world, I have gone through the interview, job offer, and acceptance phase before. It is NEVER expected that you accept the job on the spot. In fact I have typically had a week or two. Employers want to make sure that you make the best decision so that your performance is as expected. In this case, you certainly responded in an adequate amount of time. I also can see your assumptions here (that you had the job in hand) because of the nature of the job. Unlike in the business world, there aren't top HR folks with contracts and contigent offers and the like. It is unnecessary to hammer you with "lessons learned". Instead, I am sorry you are in this situation and best of luck in your future endeavors. I am also frustrated at the unprofessional conduct that is seen in the horse world sometimes.

[Trixie]

I also think it would be hard on Peter (she doesn't even know Peter!). Even if he came down on the weekends you'd be working.

Doubt this reflects in the Pro horse world in anything. EXCEPT....most of the female help that does not work out fails because of family commitments and/or issues with SOs that often can result in reliability or attendance issues. I would not mention having to talk to anybody prior to accepting any type position. In or out of the horse world...you know before the interview what is involved and if this person had had the usual experiences with help failing due to SO or family, she might have had second thoughts.

I really despise that line of thought. "It would be hard on your SO" - WTF?

Women are perfectly capable of holding down a job and being in a relationship at the same time. For her to suggest otherwise is just insulting.

"Reliability issues." :no: :mad:

[Shirland Farm]

Thanks Trixie, those comments got to me too. My husband and I have always put our work lives first. You you have to in NYC or they will find someone else who will. I won't take personal calls at work and will rarely leave for doctors appointements unless it is an Emergency and I never taken a lunch. And my husband would be perfectly capable to care for himself while I was gone.

In fact I thought she would want a married person for the job, as the truth of the matter is, I'm not a bad looking woman and I would imagine it would make the employer feel better knowing I was going home after work to call my husband and to get some rest instead of going out partying to try to meet men!

clearly she offered me the job before she was sure about me. Oh well I wish she had waited because I was SO EXCITED... but oh well.

[jeta]

I am also somewhat appalled by the respond toward the OP. Coming from the finance world, I have gone through the interview, job offer, and acceptance phase before. It is NEVER expected that you accept the job on the spot. In fact I have typically had a week or two. Employers want to make sure that you make the best decision so that your performance is as expected.

You beat me to the punch as I was thinking along the same lines as I read through this thread.....I don't think I have EVER heard of anyone taking a job in any field on the 1st face to face interview unless they were just truly desperate or it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.......

On paper (e-mail ) the job may have sounded fabulous...Until the in-person interview for the employer and potential future employee to feel each other out, many of you feel that if she was offered the position she should have just said yes without mulling over for even a day??? Quite honestly the shocking part to me is the employer here did not take time to think before she was sure she was offering the job to the person she wanted to work for her...

Did the OP maybe jump the gun and should this probably have been handled over the phone instead of e-mail?....Yeah, I would think so....It doesn't sound like she is really all that upset to lose her present job and is ready to move on to other things anyway....but in these economic times I guess I would have been a little more cautious....JMHO

[MHM]

In fact I thought she would want a married person for the job, as the truth of the matter is, I'm not a bad looking woman and I would imagine it would make the employer feel better knowing I was going home after work to call my husband and to get some rest instead of going out partying to try to meet men!



This statement just screams to me you're REALLY naive about the horse world! :lol:

Sorry about your bad experience, though I do agree it could happen in any line of work, not just the horse business.

[findeight]

I really despise that line of thought. "It would be hard on your SO" - WTF?

Women are perfectly capable of holding down a job and being in a relationship at the same time. For her to suggest otherwise is just insulting.

"Reliability issues." :no: :mad:

Oh, puleeeze. That was not a projection on working women in general or on myself or my feelings or anybody else.

But all the barns I have been in have constant problems with those in what is, honestly, an entry level, low paying position that don't show due to family troubles like an SO or child care. Why a even certain percentage that hire on in my own career fall by the wayside-they knew overnite travel was involved and so should their families but the reality is they don't last because of pressure from SOs.

Think stating she had to speak to hubby first might have set off the alarm in this woman's head based on her past experiences trying to hire and keep barn help. Kind of surprised given the OPs background.

I dunno...maybe she was afraid OP was overqualified and would find the work too hard so had second thoughts.

[Shirland Farm]

This statement just screams to me you're REALLY naive about the horse world! :lol:

Sorry about your bad experience, though I do agree it could happen in any line of work, not just the horse business.


while yes I know I am niave...BUT i thought that since this job required early hours she would rather hire someone who was going to be to bed early and to work on time instead of some single person who would potentially want to party late and then maybe come in late.... I guess I was wrong!

[Trixie]

Oh, puleeeze. That was not a projection on working women in general or on myself or my feelings or anybody else.

Findeight, I didn't mean your personal feelings, which is why I quoted Shirland's quote above yours. Sorry if that was unclear.

However, I was working in the defense industry, for a foreign contractor. I saw that kind of discrimination ALL.THE.TIME. I once saw a young, female office manager not promoted before because the CEO refused to internally promote a woman, and she was a fabulous employee. Fortunately, someone else figured that out pretty quick and offered her an excellent job.

It's enormously frustrating to me that someone wouldn't hire someone because they think that a woman is liable to stray from the job due to "family issues," especially for a three month position. There are a thousand reasons that one would leave a temporary, entry-level job. What other kinds of discrimination would they justify?

[findeight]

while yes I know I am niave...BUT i thought that since this job required early hours she would rather hire someone who was going to be to bed early and to work on time instead of some single person who would potentially want to party late and then maybe come in late.... I guess I was wrong!


Think you are giving too much credit to Pros hiring barn help.

They aren't regular HR types, have no training and do not spend hours interviewing and hiring applicants. Don't think they give it much thought other then trying to get somebody who will show up, hungover or not. Any hint they won't show for whatever reason usually rules out any offers.

Honestly, let it go..things happen for a reason. She was wrong but...who knows what went on there.

[MHM]

BUT i thought that since this job required early hours she would rather hire someone who was going to be to bed early and to work on time instead of some single person who would potentially want to party late and then maybe come in late.... I guess I was wrong!

The naive part was thinking only single people in the horse business party late and come in late. ;)

Again, sorry about your experience.

[Shirland Farm]

so I may have said I was wrong but I don't believe that for second. I would have gone down there and as I stated to the employer "take care of those horses as if the were my own where my first priority would be the health and happiness of the horses and my second priority to do everything I could to help her win blue ribbons.... not the only way around."

Her horses would have been my focus for 3 months straight 24 hours a day. I doubt a better job could have been done.

At this point I consider it her loss.
I would not have gotten bored after 3 months.
I certainly never would have given up.

But she made her decision (again) and it wasn't me. Oh well. Someday I'm sure I'll take impeccable care of someone else's horses and be greatly appreciated.

[Shirland Farm]

The naive part was thinking only single people in the horse business party late and come in late. ;)

Again, sorry about your experience.

Well that is a real shame, bc for the last 6 year I have taken my trading job so seriously that I would never go out on a weeknight....meanwhile I feel like when you are taking care of a living animal that its only a greater responsibility.

Sad that others don't feel the same way :(

[Dixon]

Oh, come on. I thought the employer's email to you was very nice and classy, and gave you all the explanation you deserve. She thought you were overqualified. Employers have to make decisions among prospective employees all the time, and one way to determine who will work the hardest is who NEEDS the job the most. You were coming from a high-paid, white-collar job that never got your hands dirty, and weren't sure enough about the job to say "Yes, I really need this job and I really want to work for you." Instead, you said you'd go discuss it with your husband, which further indicates that you have an alternative source of income to fall back on. This employer was probably comparing you against someone who seemed hungrier. What would happen if she hired you, then in the middle of WEF you said "Gee, I'm tired and I miss my husband" or "I'm pregnant" and left WEF, leaving her in the lurch? The other candidate would have probably gotten away by then. So the other candidate probably seemed like a surer thing for the duration of WEF. She handled it fine, you made mistaken assumptions, and you need to stop whining.

[Shirland Farm]

Oh, come on. I thought the employer's email to you was very nice and classy, and gave you all the explanation you deserve. She thought you were overqualified. Employers have to make decisions among prospective employees all the time, and one way to determine who will work the hardest is who NEEDS the job the most. You were coming from a high-paid, white-collar job that never got your hands dirty, and weren't sure enough about the job to say "Yes, I really need this job and I really want to work for you." Instead, you said you'd go discuss it with your husband, which further indicates that you have an alternative source of income to fall back on. This employer was probably comparing you against someone who seemed hungrier. What would happen if she hired you, then in the middle of WEF you said "Gee, I'm tired and I miss my husband" or "I'm pregnant" and left WEF, leaving her in the lurch? The other candidate would have probably gotten away by then. So the other candidate probably seemed like a surer thing for the duration of WEF. She handled it fine, you made mistaken assumptions, and you need to stop whining.

Well none of what your described is me. She lost out.

[Heineken]

Duplo needs a groom :) You can come and take care of him and Lego ANYTIME you want!

[Long Spot]

Sounds like she DID miss out. I'm sorry this happened to you, but you know what? (You already know this, I can tell..) A LOT of people go to WEF. I'd find another farm that will cherish your work ethic and knowledge. If your hubby is on board with the idea of you spending the season there, why not try to find another farm to work for? There have to be a lot of outfits that would love to have you. Who knows, you might even get a better offer....

Being able to stroll past her barn and say hello is icing on the cake.

[Anselcat]

Back to whether a situation like this indicates hesitancy to hire a woman ....

If I were interviewing for a three-month position in another state, and only after the interview did they say "I need to discuss it with my [spouse/life partner]" , I agree this would raise red flags whether they had seriously considered what a 3-month out-of-state job meant.

And it wouldn't matter if the person were male or female; straight, gay or in-between.

I'm not saying that Shirland wasn't serious, just suggesting that perhaps there was mis-communication and/or mis-interpretation on both sides.

But for what it's worth, I do think it's low-class to put the person's name on this bulletin board. If I were the employer, after reading this thread I would be content that I made the right choice. IMHO.

[Shirland Farm]

Back to whether a situation like this indicates hesitancy to hire a woman ....

If I were interviewing for a three-month position in another state, and only after the interview did they say "I need to discuss it with my [spouse/life partner]" , I agree this would raise red flags whether they had seriously considered what a 3-month out-of-state job meant.

And it wouldn't matter if the person were male or female; straight, gay or in-between.

I'm not saying that Shirland wasn't serious, just suggesting that perhaps there was mis-communication and/or mis-interpretation on both sides.

But for what it's worth, I do think it's low-class to put the person's name on this bulletin board. If I were the employer, after reading this thread I would be content that I made the right choice. IMHO.


the employer wanted me to check with my husband... and its not like i took a week to decide buy 6 hours!!!! She clearly was not in a position to offer me the job but did so anyway. I wish she had not.

As for naming her... well clearly no on here thinks that offering a job and then retracting it is wrong so what does [edit] have to lose?

[Dixon]

It's not what SHE has to lose -- it's what you are losing with every post. Your dignity, integrity, and reputation. Boy have you dug yourself deep. I'm not the employer you dealt with, nor do I know her. The horse world is small, and people talk. So if you'd had any intention of following the foregoing kind folks's advice to try to get hired by a different barn at WEF, you're reputation as a spoiled poor sport may precede you. As for the nasty PM you sent me, referring to "the illegal she hired," it reveals your bigotry and ignorance about the horse industry and many of the people who work hardest. Unfortunately you exemplify the "Entitlement Generation."

[gottagrey]

The problem w/ emails and this type of thing is that it is very easy to mis-interpret a person's intention - meaning that you cannot detect sarcastic humor or empathy. Emailing an employer your resignation is a no-no sorry - I don't care what kind of job or power you had; and yes in numerous jobs either when you are let or or decide to leave on your own volition -ofen you are escorted out by security.. and your computer promptly shut down. Ha one sure way to tell if you are getting the boot is not being able to log-on..

I think the point is that while some people are being empathetic towards you, some are giving you the heads up - next time keep your mouth closed about discussing w/ hubby - yes it a normal and natural thing to do - do you think Hillary has not discussed w/ BILL her State Dept. offer? You betcha... but she didn't exactly say to Obama - um I need to chat about it with Bill first - make sure it's okay - it's assumed..

Also - it could be that the employer said the same thing to a couple of people - and was just being polite - perhaps she was not being too professional either - we are only getting your side of the story..

Am wondering based on your posts and your Wallstreet trading experience -why you are so upset about this situation. People are offered,counter-offered, and ungiven jobs all the time. We had a gal come in for her first day of work last year, given the tour, computer access etc - low and behold, the powers that handed down a NO Hire freeze so her first day lasted about an hour!

And you say you didn't really care about the job, just wanted it on your resume? let me see

2002-2008: Wall Street Trader Responsibilities include: Overseeing the handling of over $10,000 stock trades per day;

Jan 2009-March 2009: Stable Groom Responsibilities Include: Prepare expensive horses for show ring; muck stalls

Frankly I'm baffled... not that I wouldn't want to quit and putz around Palm Beach for 3 months either - I just wouldn't care about it being on my resume...

[MLP]

I have a few comments.... first off if that is your husband standing next to lucky on your page of horses - YOU are lucky and are better off spending time with him! Second, people are suggesting you are naive to the horse world, isn't that a picture of you showing in a hack at Devon and also doing a conf class, you can't be that naive to the horse business. You're parents own a farm too, I am not saying you might not be used to the bad dealings of the business but you look very competent as a rider and care taker. Finally, I have been told that I was over qualified for jobs before and I always have to laugh at that, while true, because of my education, if I am applying and I know the requirements there must be a reason... ie. want to spend more time with my hubby (which was the reason I took it) or for you not needing the financial gain as much as the personal gain of caring for and being on the scene at WEF. I think you're right, their loss!!!!

[Shirland Farm]

It's not what SHE has to lose -- it's what you are losing with every post. Your dignity, integrity, and reputation. Boy have you dug yourself deep. I'm not the employer you dealt with, nor do I know her. The horse world is small, and people talk. So if you'd had any intention of following the foregoing kind folks's advice to try to get hired by a different barn at WEF, you're reputation as a spoiled poor sport may precede you. As for the nasty PM you sent me, referring to "the illegal she hired," it reveals your bigotry and ignorance about the horse industry and many of the people who work hardest. Unfortunately you exemplify the "Entitlement Generation."

HAHAHA I wrote my entire thesis on entitlement in college. I arrived in NYC with $100 and no place to live. I got to my six figure job all on my own. YOU ARE WRONG.
not that you'll care. People like you seem to think what to think..... and please if you want to refer to my "illegal" comment please post the whole thing.


haha still getting a kick out of the entitlement comment HAHAHAHA

[Shirland Farm]

The problem w/ emails and this type of thing is that it is very easy to mis-interpret a person's intention - meaning that you cannot detect sarcastic humor or empathy. Emailing an employer your resignation is a no-no sorry - I don't care what kind of job or power you had; and yes in numerous jobs either when you are let or or decide to leave on your own volition -ofen you are escorted out by security.. and your computer promptly shut down. Ha one sure way to tell if you are getting the boot is not being able to log-on..

I think the point is that while some people are being empathetic towards you, some are giving you the heads up - next time keep your mouth closed about discussing w/ hubby - yes it a normal and natural thing to do - do you think Hillary has not discussed w/ BILL her State Dept. offer? You betcha... but she didn't exactly say to Obama - um I need to chat about it with Bill first - make sure it's okay - it's assumed..

Also - it could be that the employer said the same thing to a couple of people - and was just being polite - perhaps she was not being too professional either - we are only getting your side of the story..

Am wondering based on your posts and your Wallstreet trading experience -why you are so upset about this situation. People are offered,counter-offered, and ungiven jobs all the time. We had a gal come in for her first day of work last year, given the tour, computer access etc - low and behold, the powers that handed down a NO Hire freeze so her first day lasted about an hour!

And you say you didn't really care about the job, just wanted it on your resume? let me see

2002-2008: Wall Street Trader Responsibilities include: Overseeing the handling of over $10,000 stock trades per day;

Jan 2009-March 2009: Stable Groom Responsibilities Include: Prepare expensive horses for show ring; muck stalls

Frankly I'm baffled... not that I wouldn't want to quit and putz around Palm Beach for 3 months either - I just wouldn't care about it being on my resume...


I would never assume that someone with junior experience who then entered the work force would be able to start up a few steps higher in the horse world. I thought, start at the bottom, prove myself for 3 measly months get good recommendations and then start from there

[gottagrey]

I would never assume that someone with junior experience who then entered the work force would be able to start up a few steps higher in the horse world. I thought, start at the bottom, prove myself for 3 measly months get good recommendations and then start from there

I think you might be naive in general - sorry

[Giddy-up]

chugga-chugga...the Friday afternoon train has left the station! :lol:

[Shirland Farm]

my favorite comment is the $10,000 trade comment, more like $20,000,000 trades. At any rate, I didn't think trading stock made me competant to care for horses. I was willing to commit 3 moths of my life to caring for these horses to get it on my resume and to get a good recomendation in order to later to get a better job. meanwhile i NEVER said I didn't care about this job. to the contraty it was SUper important.

[Cranky Agnes]

chugga-chugga...the Friday afternoon train has left the station! :lol:

Seriously....JParis27 from Horseshowspy strikes again....check out their "under the bus" forum. Class act, all the way.... :rolleyes:

[hedmbl]

chugga-chugga...the Friday afternoon train has left the station! :lol:

:lol: No kidding. I haven't looked at this thread since I posted on the first page but there is more to it then the original story.

[Shirland Farm]

fine, if all of you agree that the employer did nothing wrong, then it just proves my point about the professional horse world.

I'm better off without all of you!!!!! bye bye

[Paragon]

Sorry, Shirland. I was firmly in your camp for the first couple pages, but now it's really degenerating... and I'm willing to bet you're rapidly losing ground with everyone reading this thread.

Let it die gracefully.

YIKES. Well, that last post wasn't up when I posted this! Holy crapsticks, woman. Just go.

[Sansena]

Shirl; I really felt sorry for you at the beginning of this thread. But you keep coming back, more indignant, and have stated "bye bye' before.

Please do. I'm starting to cringe with each new post of yours. I know you're pissed, I would be too. But you're beating a dead horse, and your indignation is, well... **sigh**

Get over it. You're spending too much time on the 'puter.

[Cranky Agnes]

Sorry, Shirland. I was firmly in your camp for the first couple pages, but now it's really degenerating... and I'm willing to bet you're rapidly losing ground with everyone reading this thread.

Let it die gracefully.

YIKES. Well, that last post wasn't up when I posted this! Holy crapsticks, woman. Just go.

Grace? Paragon, you are a far kinder and more generous person than I in assuming she has any. :lol: From what I've read of her posts on both bulletin boards (and not just about this rescinded job offer), that's not a word in her vocabulary.

[Giddy-up]

Seriously....JParis27 from Horseshowspy strikes again....check out their "under the bus" forum. Class act, all the way.... :rolleyes:

excellent find. :yes: and may I add I love horseshowspy--excellent reading at times

this is like a bad car wreck. shouldn't...look...but...can't...stop...myself...

[Cranky Agnes]

excellent find. :yes: and may I add I love horseshowspy--excellent reading at times

this is like a bad car wreck. shouldn't...look...but...can't...stop...myself...

Thank you! :) I think I must have been a private investigator in a previous life. It was her blog that tipped me off. I remember seeing the profile picture of her and her hubby before and put two and two together.

And I agree about Horseshowspy. Most of the time it's utter b.s., but it can be wildly amusing to read. ;)

[Shirland Farm]

I know, I'm such a bad person to always put the horses best interests first...

[hedmbl]

I know, I'm such a bad person to always put the horses best interests first...

:confused: They aren't your horses to decide what their 'best interest' is, they belong to the pro. From the way you're presenting yourself the lady you interviewed with did not miss out...she dodged a bullet.

[gottagrey]

I would never assume that someone with junior experience who then entered the work force would be able to start up a few steps higher in the horse world. I thought, start at the bottom, prove myself for 3 measly months get good recommendations and then start from there

This is just too entertaining - with a 6 figure job - emailing your boss at 11:00pm to quit to take a grooming job for the horse world... and your angry:eek:

[Shirland Farm]

first off, she is not a pro



second off, all my retired horses are cared for as if they are 6 figure show animals....god I'm such bad person...

[Long Spot]

Honestly, she hasn't lost ground with me....and I've been following it.

She sounds like a smart lady to me, with a good work ethic.

To the person who thought she was trying to crack into the horse business at the upper level? What's below groom?

[Paragon]

She sounds like a smart lady to me, with a good work ethic.

Really?

To me, she sounds like the kind of person who would come onto a message board to air private matters if she doesn't like something. Drama runs rampant in this industry in large part because of people just like this.

Fortunately, the name-dropping means that any other prospective employers can contact the trainer in question to be warned off such a loose cannon.

But maybe I'm just drama-intolerant.

[Shirland Farm]

Thank you! :) I think I must have been a private investigator in a previous life. It was her blog that tipped me off. I remember seeing the profile picture of her and her hubby before and put two and two together.

And I agree about Horseshowspy. Most of the time it's utter b.s., but it can be wildly amusing to read. ;)

oh yes my horrible blog where I resuced a horse who was going to be put down. I'm such a bad person....

http://www.thisponyisstillticking.blogspot.com/

[hedmbl]

Really?

To me, she sounds like the kind of person who would come onto a message board to air private matters if she doesn't like something. Drama runs rampant in this industry in large part because of people just like this.

Fortunately, the name-dropping means that any other prospective employers can contact the trainer in question to be warned off such a loose cannon.

But maybe I'm just drama-intolerant.

Agreed.

To the OP: no one is (or was) calling you a bad person or criticizing the way you care for your horses (none of us even know how you care for them). We're addressing how unbalanced you sound with every 'update'. You left out alot of vital information in your OP and now you're just making yourself out to be a bitter, entitled woman that any potential employers would be smart to run away from.

It's impossible to know if you truly are or are not that way in real life but all we have to go on are your posts on this BB and that is what you appear to be.

[Shirland Farm]

Agreed.

To the OP: no one is (or was) calling you a bad person or criticizing the way you care for your horses (none of us even know how you care for them). We're addressing how unbalanced you sound with every 'update'. You left out alot of vital information in your OP and now you're just making yourself out to be a bitter, entitled woman that any potential employers would be smart to run away from.

well I'm sorry you think that b/c no one would have worked harder for three months than me!

[Cranky Agnes]

oh yes my horrible blog where I resuced a horse who was going to be put down. I'm such a bad person....

http://www.thisponyisstillticking.blogspot.com/

I'm not saying anything bad about your blog at all. My comment was that I simply recognized your picture. And just because you rescued a horse doesn't make you a good person. But I'm not saying you're an evil person either. However, you've obviously exercised some bad judgment here. The road to hell is paved with good intentions as they say. Just look at the crazy horse rescue lady in Texas who got busted for having a bunch of starving horses. You could have the best intentions in the world and still be crazy.

[Sansena]

well I'm sorry you think that b/c no one would have worked harder for three months than me!

Okay.. . ENOUGH.
What are you - three years old?

Ferpity's sake.. I'm more embarassed for you with each of your new posts. You're making a fool of yourself. And, speaking as someone who's started at the bottom, naiively thinking she'd work her way up from groom:

SISTAH.. You're off to a BAD start. and it's got *nothing* to do with that FL woman who rescinded on your employment offer.

[Shirland Farm]

I'm not saying anything bad about your blog at all. My comment was that I simply recognized your picture. And just because you rescued a horse doesn't make you a good person. But I'm not saying your an evil person either. However, you've obviously exercised some bad judgment here. The road to hell is paved with good intentions as they say. Just look at the crazy horse rescue lady in Texas who got busted for having a bunch of starving horses. You could have the best intentions in the world and still be crazy.

You lost me with the road to hell comment

I am not religious.

I rescued a horse who would otherwise be dead.

[Cranky Agnes]

I rescued a horse who would otherwise be dead.

And your point is? Are you expecting us to give you a cookie for that? Maybe a nice warm round of applause?

[Shirland Farm]

And your point is? Are you expecting us to give you a cookie for that?

no not at all.... you were the one who brought up my blog

[Shirland Farm]

Okay.. . ENOUGH.
What are you - three years old?

Ferpity's sake.. I'm more embarassed for you with each of your new posts. You're making a fool of yourself. And, speaking of someone who's started at the bottom, naiively thinking she'd work her way up from groom:

SISTAH.. You're off to a BAD start. and it's got *nothing* to do with that FL woman who rescinded on your employment offer.

She was from VA

[shade]

You lost me with the road to hell comment

I am not religious.

I rescued a horse who would otherwise be dead.


If this is the way our college grads' reading comprehension is..we are in deep doo doo

[knitgirl]

Shirland, I mean this kindly and as someone who is very stubborn when I feel I am right in a situation. Sometimes we just need to let it go. I was sympathetic to your situation, especially after you posted the information that you had received a real job offer with all the details discussed. I agree with you that the person who offered you the job did you a disservice by rescinding the offer. I also agree with those who suggested that it wasn't wise to do all of this by e-mail. I personally would not have quit a job without confirming my start date with my new employer. Maybe it's time to think that YOU dodged a bullet by not starting a job with an employer who changed her mind in the space of a few hrs. I have never been in a situation where I have been required to accept a job on the spot, so I think it is reasonable to have a day or 2 to think about it. However, you have started to sound like somebody who would be an extremely difficult employee. I am not judging your horse skills or desire to do the best possible job. What is making you sound like someone I would never hire is 1. naming the person, 2. arguing with everyone on the board. Sometimes, even when we really believe we are right, other people are going to disagree. You are not going to get anywhere by continuing this thread. Chalk it up as a learning experience. This all could have happened for a good reason. I was once fired from a job I hated and ended up with a much better one. You are stressing yourself out for no good reason.

[Shirland Farm]

If this is the way our college grads' reading comprehension is..we are in deep doo doo


ummm, was trying to be clear and concise b/c someone brought up my timex.


search timex on the alex brown racing forum and you will see that Timex would be dead if it were not for me.

meanwhile I have no idea what this has to do with anything.

[dare2dream]

Shirland,

I applaud you for trying to make a huge life change for a sabbatical. I wish I could do something like that. You said money is not a problem so maybe you can find something else in the horse world in the near future. I understand you quiting your job with the excitement of the new job and leaving the pressure behind. We all do things spontaniously from time to time.

Peace

[galwaybay]

my favorite comment is the $10,000 trade comment, more like $20,000,000 trades. At any rate, I didn't think trading stock made me competant to care for horses. I was willing to commit 3 moths of my life to caring for these horses to get it on my resume and to get a good recomendation in order to later to get a better job. meanwhile i NEVER said I didn't care about this job. to the contraty it was SUper important.

Someone who claims trades $20,000,000; claims to have a 6 fig income, cannot spell competent, cannot spell contrary, uses phrases like Super important and sends an email to her BOSS at 11:00pm to quit (from the 6 fig, $20,000,000 per day transaction responsibility job - is not going to get a good recommendation from former boss...who I would think would be more important than that "super important" ground-up grooming position vs. a Wallstreet Wizbang... if all you Wallstreet Wizbangs resign in the middle of the night - no wonder you've sent the markets on a spiral

you vented about how this person was not professional in offering you a job, then changing their mind - most people were sympathetic to your situation -and probably said not necessarily things that were meant to be unkind but rather to express what they thought MAY have been a problem i.e. dicussing w/ hubby - keep those comments to your self - of course anyone is going to review a job position w/ their family and/or friends to get their opinions - you just don't share that [verbally]w/ a perspective employer - in any Field

[Candle]

Oh but you KNOW it's not a real trainwreck until "I JUST DONT NEED ANY OF YOU I'M LEAVING GOODBYE" is posted :D :D :D

[shade]

ummm, was trying to be clear and concise b/c someone brought up my timex.


search timex on the alex brown racing forum and you will see that Timex would be dead if it were not for me.

meanwhile I have no idea what this has to do with anything.


And neither do I hence my previous post. I don't recall anyone "bringing up" Timex. They only "brought up" your blog.

[kellyb]

Oh but you KNOW it's not a real trainwreck until "I JUST DONT NEED ANY OF YOU I'M LEAVING GOODBYE" is posted :D :D :D

And it's not really a REAL real train wreck until you post you're leaving and then come back ;)

[ktm2007]

:confused: They aren't your horses to decide what their 'best interest' is, they belong to the pro. From the way you're presenting yourself the lady you interviewed with did not miss out...she dodged a bullet.

Seriously.

I got to this thread late, so maybe this response is pointless, but...

Not to add any fuel to this...train...but here is my take on the husband thing (thinking in terms of the potential employer)

I know you argued earlier that you thought it would be seen as a GOOD thing that you were married. I can think of two big reasons why it is a con rather than a pro.

#1. What happens halfway through the circuit if/when you and Peter get in a blow out fight over the phone and you decide that your marriage is more important than a grooming job? You leave the lady high and dry AND in a bind as to finding new help on such a short notice.

#2: You also mentioned something about your husband coming for the weekends. That would be seen as a burden to me if I were considering employing you. You will be working LONG hours. What is hubby going to do? tag along at your heals and slow you down?

These two things came to mind almost instantley while I was reading this thread.

So sorry that you had such a bad experience. But it sounds like it was a big mis-understanding. chalk it up to experience and move on.

[Moderator 1]

We removed the references to the potential employer's name and have closed the thread. While the board can be used for advice and input into general scenarios encountered in our lives with horses, the details of business dealings, etc., are best left private.

Thanks,
Mod 1