Finesse...I have lost it.

[JRG]

I am in a rut.

For the third lesson in a row, I am completely at odds with myself. My finesse (what little I had) seems to have taken an early Christmas vacation. It is gone and I am driving my horse insane. I am in the cycle of "push/pull/demand?"..oh and relax, start all over again.

How do you, regroup? What tricks, excersises, reading you name it I want it all. How do you all get back to being the sane "mommy or daddy" that your horse loved in the first place? What gets you back to being focused and relaxed?

Help me get to a "happy place" please!

[merrygoround]

You could start thinking of just riding forward. Usually once you get that, things start to flow. Don't think of getting the movement, so much as getting a hint of the movement.

Some days it pays to just go forward on a longish rein, in rising trot, allowing them to come through with no demands from us.

Nt exactly hack out weather in the NE, but you might have a chance. That's a wonderful refresher too.

[LisaO]

I second the hacking idea if at all possible - what a nice treat for everyone!

[slc2]

Riding lessons can help clarify your confusion and frustration. Hacks are always good, but one does have to figure out the problem.

There's always a phase everyone seems to go thru where they have moved on to the next phase of their riding and just aren't sure of what they're doing or if it's right, especially when one is trying to work on half halts and getting more of a connection. Getting some help is good for that, but it's also important to just not get upset about it. It's all part of learning.

[boosma47]

Think of allowing your horse to express himself, rather than demanding that he do the movements.

Go back to easy riding/routines and let yourself go with horse.

Ride with closed eyes to get back to 'feel'.

Lighten up.

Don't try so hard.

Lunge lessons w/out stirrups, eyes closed.

Breathe.

Forget agendas; ride in the moment.

Think of every ride as a gift from your horse.

[sunnycher]

I had my first jumping lesson on my baby on Saturday, and in warm up I was pretty defensive. My trainer had me concentrate on the BACK/rear end of the horse, and forget the front.

For example, see if you can feel when the inside hind leg comes forward at the walk. I was backward, kept guessing the outside. I had to really concentrate & 'feel' and let my legs swing from the hips to become more connected with horse's movement. Once we started to do the work, it was very cool, just thinking more of riding the hind end, and doing less with the front.

Also, was watching RFD tv, and the trainer does an exercise where you put the horse in a gait, ie, trot, or canter, then ride on a loose rein (think enclosed arena) and do nothing but ride him. He can go anywhere, he just cannot break from that gait.

When you feel them slowing, you allow them to break, then get 'gently' after them right back to the trot, so they learn to continue in any gait until YOU let them change. Instead of micro managing every step, they learn to just go along. That was a very relaxing exercise for my horses.
Good luck.

[pintopiaffe]

um... it's a lesson? What is the instructor saying?

I wouldn't be paying for lessons if they left me frustrated and confused... My worst days physically are when my teacher has to work the hardest to help me connect the brain and the body... Or, at The Worst, he gets on and fixes things, then has me get on to feel it. ;)

I can see if you're working on your own, hitting the wall... but then most (all) of the advice is going to be 'move heaven and earth to get to a lesson.'

I guess I'd be more than a little concerned that this is happening because of, or in spite of, lessons... :uhoh:

[InsideLeg2OutsideRein]

Oh I know how you feel! : )

Here are some things you might try:

1)If you can at all, take a lesson on somebody's schoolmaster. Do some tricks (and think about how cool that is).
2) Get on your horse with just one goal: relaxation. Walk on a long rein every time you or your horse get tense, have no other goals.
3) Don't ride for a week. Then hop on.
4) Do something else, like a jumping lesson or cavaletti or something that focuses you on not being "dressagy".

Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself! :yes:

[Ambrey]

Change your goal. If having the goal be "relaxation" is making you tense, focus on something smaller.

My finesse comes and goes- some days I have it and some days I really don't. In my last lesson I found it about halfway through by just focusing on something smaller than the big picture. Sometimes trying to do everything right gets overwhelming, but trying to do one or two things right is not so bad!

[egontoast]

Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. -Laurence J. Peter


Some people might like to think that.:)

[Tonja]

JRG wrote:
How do you, regroup? What tricks, excersises, reading you name it I want it all. How do you all get back to being the sane "mommy or daddy" that your horse loved in the first place? What gets you back to being focused and relaxed?
When I find myself getting tense I take a deep breath and give myself time to relax. I slow down or even take a step back and carefully examine what it is I’m asking the horse to do. Does the horse understand my request? If not, where is my communication breaking down? Are my aids clear? (i.e. Does my ‘halt’ mean halt? Does my ‘go’ mean go? Does my ‘move off my leg’ mean move off my leg?) Are my aids timed correctly? Do my aids instantly cease when the horse offers a correct response? Am I returning to neutrality/resting between each aid? Do I need to break the task down into smaller pieces?

The book (and even more so, the audio CD’s) that most helps me get back to being focused and relaxed – and keeps me well tuned into my horse – is Dressage Formula. Each time I read this book I come away with a deeper understanding of and appreciation for horses, horsemanship and the art. The author explains the horse’s nature and details how to progress in harmony with it.

[JRG]

Thanks all, great suggestions.


Tonight, I took my boy out of the stall and looked him square in the face and told him that tonight we play. Too cold to hack so this was the next best thing.

Taking all the suggestions at heart, I thought the minute I feel any tension I would stop what I was doing, breath and relax and start again. We started the night on nice long rein playing "happy hunter horse" and slowly started to work.

After 45 minutes, he was happy relaxed and I would hazard a guess a tad confused. When he would attempt to pick a fight, I wouldn't let him...I wouldn't buy into it and changed the game.

It was so nice to remember what a wonderful horse I have. I am quite sure he felt the same way about me.

Thank you all. Now I am not saying I am out of the woods but tonight was a good start to get back to normal.

As for it happening during lessons, sometimes we need to try different things to end up to a the right result. It is easy to get confused when trying different things. My coach I have total confidence in. She is well qualified and walks the talk if you know what I mean.

As for the suggestons for the literature...great ones. I actually orderd a dvd today and will take all suggestions. I just love reading and watching all that I can.