Nervous about going to the barn

[nervousalter]

I'm really uncomfortable and need some advice...

On Thursday I got to the new barn at 9am to find that my gelding (on stall rest in a very small outdoor paddock) hadn't been given any hay yet and wasn't really happy about. I found the head BW and asked if he could have some hay and he said he was in the middle of giving it to all the horses (the others were turned out already, he was setting out their hay for the evening). It started to rain while I was at the barn, so I took my gelding's soft ride boots off and asked the HBW if he could please put them back on when it stopped (they'll hold water if left on), he said he would. The vet said they're to be kept on 24/7.

As I was driving home, the BO phoned me, told me that one of the farriers was coming out Friday and asked if my gelding needed to see him. I told him I wasn't really sure, so the BO said he thought it would be a good idea and that he'd call the farrier and let him know. I asked what time he thought he could see him, he asked what time I normally got at the barn, I said "9:30am" and he said that was fine. My gelding was acting up that day because of his stall rest, and not being fed until 9:30am, and I was scared that I wouldn't be able to handle him for the farrier, so I called a friend who agreed to go to the barn to help me with him on Friday.

The rain only lasted about 20 minutes.

Friday morning I arrived to find the therapeutic boots still off my gelding and his fly mask wrapped around the side of his head. I took care of both and then the farrier arrived and my friend arrived. After a half hour I asked the farrier when he wanted to see my boy, he told me to go get him. As I was walking to his paddock, the HBW asked what I was doing. I told him the farrier was going to look at my gelding. He said, 'no, yours has to go last'. I asked why and he said because he was new and in quarantine (he'd been there 10 days Friday). I said okay, but explained that the BO was the one who told me that a morning appt was fine. HBW told me he was going to call the BO and ask about it. I said that was okay and to let me know what he said, then I walked away.

5 minutes later the HBW tells me that the farrier can see my gelding, I ask if he called the BO and he says 'no'.

Farrier starts working on my gelding, taking a bit of extra time because of his injury, etc... Five minutes in, the HBW walked up with another horse, parked him within 6 ft of my gelding, while the farrier was still working on my gelding's feet, and just glared at me.

Farrier finished up, I put my guy back, was sitting in my car getting ready to go home and the HBW walked up to my window and said, "you coming back tomorrow?" I said yes. Then, "you going to be here every day?" I smiled, and told him I was going to try to because I miss him. He just stared at me.

I pay full board. I pay extra ($35) to have medicine administered (I mix ground up pills with molasses, so it can be poured on his feed - they just have to pour it). I pay extra ($15) to have his fly mask taken on and off (though I keep it on 24/7). I pay extra ($50) to have him handwalked EOD in case I can't make it. I pay extra ($35) to have him blanketed (although it's been warm and he doesn't even have a blanket yet). And I pay extra ($15) to have the BO keep track of his farrier/vet visits.

I asked if I could pay extra to make sure those boots were checked and put back on if he got one off, but the BO said I was paying so much in extras already, that taking care of the boots would be free. Also offered to pay for extra hay since he's laid up, but the BO said that had already been factored into my board price.


When I brought him to the this new stable, I also brought 4 huge square bales of hay (at least 75lbs) and 2 bags of Ultium, so I don't think he's really eaten much of the barn's food yet.

Anyway, this morning I'm sitting here nervous to go up and see my gelding. I didn't mention the boots or the fly mask to the HBW and aside from asking if he could have some breakfast hay on Thursday, my conversations with the HBW have mainly been comprised of pleasantries and inquiries as to whether my gelding was behaving for him. The BW gets $135/mo of what I pay in extras, and another BW cleans the stalls, so it's not like my gelding is a huge burden to the HBW. So, I don't understand his attitude. Unless he's irritated that I held my gelding instead of paying him to hold him...

I'm not going to say anything to the BO because I don't want to cause trouble, but it really does suck dreading visiting the barn.

[hedmbl]

I would talk to the BO ASAP. Since you're PAYING for these things to be done the head barn worker needs to get over himself and do his job. Sorry, I have no patience for stuff like that. You're the customer. He works for you.

Of course I wouldn't jump right in and start yelling but I would talk to the BO and express your concerns about the way you and your horse are being treated. Since you are new it's probably a good idea for both of you to get your expectations out in the open so it doesn't lead to resentment.

Is this a permanent place or just temp rehab?

[Not So Practical Horse(WO)man]

No. You need to say something now. It is absolutely unacceptable that you pay so much extra and they are not providing the services. I'm assuming that HBW stansa for head barnworker. In that case, he WORKS FOR the BO. He does not get to decide what treatment he gives the horses. You decide what treatment you want for your horse and pay the extra fees for it. It is the BO's job to make sure her workers are fulfilling those needs. It seems like the BO is a very reasonable person and its the HBW that is a jerk so you need to talk to the BO now. Do not talk to the HBW about it.

I moved barns recently because of a similar reason. The care I was paying for my horse to recieve was not being fulfilled and I just kept doing what they were not. So when I started working more and couldn't get out as much I finally said something(after months of not saying anything) and they just said they didnt realize I was upset and it was MY FAULT I didnt say anything. And then continued to neglect my horse.

Say something now because the longer you put it off, the worse its gonna be when something happens and the horse gets hurt and everyone is pointing figers because if the barn had done the services that your paying them for, nothing would have happened. But they will just as quickly point the finger at you for not "telling them they had to do what you were paying them for"

I hope that last part made sense. Sorry, stuff like this really gets me worked up.

[nickers@dawn]

WOW, that you should be made to feel unwelcome when you are paying for a service, (and you are paying!) should be a red flag. Though you are new and sometimes things can be be taken the wrong way, I would give it more time to really see how things work. Keep coming out when you choose, and I would tell the BO if the boot problem keeps happening. The BW may have forgotten, but if it keeps up mention it. Good luck!

[Chief2]

If you don't go to the barn, it's going to be a whole lot worse, so go.

Having been this road more than once, I'm going to take a stab at this, and suggest that your HBW has been getting away with skating along for a while now, and your presence is forcing him to toe a line he really doesn't want to be toeing in the horse care department.

Your BO sounds like a lovely person who is probably being taken advantage of by the HBW, or she has been around the block with him enough times that she pretty well knows what he thinks she doesn't know about his habits, and will deal with him once enough complaints are amassed because he gets most of her work done, or because help is in short supply, so she needs to play both sides of the fence to keep things running, the boarders happy, and get the work done. Which is a constant balancing act in this situation and a PITA.

None of which is your problem.

You pay the bills, so you go visit your horse as many times a day as you please. If you have to complain about the care issues, complain to the BO and let her handle the HBW. Otherwise, if you constantly deal with only him, the cycle will constantly repeat itself, and your BO will be blissfully out of the loop, thinking all with this guy is going well. Cleave to the BO, and let her deal with the garbage. That's what she is paid to do. And above all, enjoy your horse as much as you want, each and every day!

[Huntertwo]

I would probably give it a little more time to see if the extra adjustments to the barn workers gets a little easier. Perhaps the extras that your horse needs is a little overwhelming to them.

Is this a big barn with a lot of horses to care for? Honestly, I've never had luck at the big places regarding care.

If you still feel uncomfortable or dreading going to your barn, especially as a paying customer, I'd look for a new place after giving it a little more time.

No one should dread going to the barn, be glared at, or be hassled over whose horse gets shod first.

Also, I find it strange that he would approach you in your car and ask if you will be coming down everyday...:confused: Is something going on that they don't want you to know or see?

Again, if you still feel this way after a month, I'd look for a more *comfortable* place to board.

Good luck.

[Tamara in TN]

NA...

a quick question...why do you refer to the help as the Head barn worker? does that make him the manager ? or is the manager the BO who is just not there?

best

[Rienzi]

I would also talk to the BO about placing a care board outsie your horse's stall (or pen) listing, in some logical fashion, what needs to be done for your horse and when. This can be a dry-erase or board or something else. I wouldn't wait for the BO to put it up though, I would discuss where you have permission to put it and what will go on it, then I would put it up myself.

Good luck with your situation... what a pain to feel unwelcome to what should be your "home away from home"

[coloredhorse]

You definitely need to talk to the BO immediately. If you want to be Ms. Nicey-Nice, you can couch the conversation in standard "steel magnolia-speak." Just tell the BO that after a couple of things HBW said (he has so much to keep track of; bless his heart!) you just want to "confirm" the list of services Horsey-poo is to get and "confirm" that you have paid for all these and "confirm" that these extra duties are not "too much trouble" for HBW (bless his heart!). You can even let her know that HBW (bless his heart!) seemed surprised/concerned that you planned to come out daily and you want to "confirm" that it is acceptable for boarders to visit their horses and use the facilities daily. You can always add in a self-depracating: "I'm new here and don't want to inadvertently make any faux pas!"

As others have already said, it's the BO's job to make sure the barn runs smoothly and that services s/he promises to clients are provided. If any employees are not following through fully and properly on the services promised promising to boarders, she needs to know that so s/he can take appropriate action. It's a business relationship.

[Ambrey]

I suspect that HBW had gotten used to slacking and is not happy about having someone report to BO about it. I think you're gonna have to put on your big girl panties and be assertive here.

What is making you nervous, though? Do you feel unsafe?

[Ibex]

You definitely need to talk to the BO immediately. If you want to be Ms. Nicey-Nice, you can couch the conversation in standard "steel magnolia-speak." Just tell the BO that after a couple of things HBW said (he has so much to keep track of; bless his heart!) you just want to "confirm" the list of services Horsey-poo is to get and "confirm" that you have paid for all these and "confirm" that these extra duties are not "too much trouble" for HBW (bless his heart!). You can even let her know that HBW (bless his heart!) seemed surprised/concerned that you planned to come out daily and you want to "confirm" that it is acceptable for boarders to visit their horses and use the facilities daily. You can always add in a self-depracating: "I'm new here and don't want to inadvertently make any faux pas!"


LOVE this approach! The fact is, you are paying for these services, and have and arrangement with the BO. It's not like you're demanding these out of the blue... :yes:

[tkhawk]

The HBW asking you if you are going to be there everyday?:eek: That is just plain rude. You could complain to the bO. But ask around and if this is the general attitude-workers behave the way the owners allolw them to, barn or any business-you might want to check for another barn. Unless this one has other advantages-like great trainers etc. If it was a well run barn, the HBW or a BW will not talk to a new boarder that way....
Of colurse not being there, I can't tell the nuances/context etc.-maybe his wife just left him that day- but still it just seemed kinda rude. If this is routine behavior-that would make me worried-but if it is just a one off thing and if you had a chat with a BO and it fixed it-it shold be ok...

[ReSomething]

That sounds horrid, and really creepy to have him approach you at the car like that. Next he'll be either asking you for a date or completely ignoring all your "extras" and your horse. I agree that the HBW is playing a power trip and the BO is probably doing one of those juggling acts where you keep a less than stellar employee because you haven't many other options. The Steel magnolia discussion mentioned previously sounds like just the thing. I'd also look into other barns in the area with an eye to moving within the next year.

[nervousalter]

Thank you for the replies - I'm genuinely sorry that so many have dealt with something similar.

Tamara, I referred to him as the head barn worker because the BO didn't introduce him to me with any title. There is another worker and he seems to answer to the first. As far as I can tell, the BO is also the BM. He's a very kind man... he actually drove 35 miles to pick up my gelding from his old barn and when I tried to pay him for the transport, he refused my money saying that I had just given him a very large check for the board and it was a pleasure to have me at the barn.

The nervousness, aside from disliking a hostile atmosphere, is mainly because I don't want someone that is supposed to be caring for my animal to feel any sort of animosity towards me, in fear that he'll take it out on the animal.

Huntertwo, it is a large barn, but most of the services (aside from checking the boots) were listed as part of the boarding menu, so I figured they could handle it.

I did drive back up this morning (missed him too much not to go, and I do have to tend to his feet), and arrived just as the BO pulled in. After saying hello, and with big girl panties snugly in place, I said "I think there was a misunderstanding yesterday..." He knew about the farrier issue and told me that the barn worker was very paranoid about new horses, but since mine had been to the vet a week before getting there and had been cultured and scoped (discharge - turned out to be allergies) and was 3 days away from being out of quarantine, he wasn't worried about it.

I mentioned the HBW's comments to me about coming every day and the BO looked puzzled and said I was welcome out any time I wanted to come.

>> I suspect that HBW had gotten used to slacking and is not happy about having someone report to BO about it. <<

You could be right, Ambrey. I got to the barn a half hour earlier than usual on Thursday and my gelding had not a shred of hay. The horses are given grain at 6am and turned out at 7am. They get no hay in the morning. I had thought that they were throwing him more hay when they either gave him his grain or turned the others out...

He's 3 weeks into stall rest and his disposition is souring, so I really don't like the idea of him standing there watching other horses out at pasture for 2.5 hours, with nothing to munch on. I'll try to get there early on Monday and see if they've given him hay. The BO is under the impression that he's got hay in front of him at all times. So was I.

>>Is this a permanent place or just temp rehab? <<

hedmbl, I just left a horrible boarding situation: no water in the troughs, overgrazed mud filled 'pastures', awful mosquito and fly problems, paddock gates being left wide open, broken boards and downed electrical tape in the pastures that they refused to put back up even though horses were getting loose, heck the very trainer who injured my horse wouldn't help me find transportation to get him to a vet hospital but was able to get her own horse to a jumping lesson every week. So I was hoping that this would be permanent.

[deltawave]

I wouldn't deal with the bully at all. YOU are paying THEM to take care of your horse. That makes YOU the customer, and the customer is always right. Talk with the BO, deal with the BO, and if things are not to your liking complain to the BO. And leave if things are not the way you want them. I wouldn't even speak to the HBW. Refer him to his boss if he has issues.

[enjoytheride]

I would talk to the BO about hay like this:

"I noticed my horse didn't have any hay and I'm sorry that he's on stall rest and I'm sure its confusing to HBW. Maybe it would help if I put bales of hay in front of his stall or perhaps a sign up to make it easier on HBW? Or I could hang a haynet that way HBW could just fill the haynet a few times a day and not have to worry about all the mess my horse would make or him running out of hay."

[bit-o-honey]

Sorry you are having difficulties at your new barn. After boarding for 15 years at a few different places, I totally understand what you are going through.

Now I keep my horses at home and have my own barn help although I am very hands-on with my horses. I agree with everyone suggesting you communicate with the BO and let him talk to the help. I like the idea of a written list, maybe even a daily checklist, then you can check off anything you have already done so the HBW knows what is left to do. Sometimes BWs are confused if they are tasked with something and then the owner comes in and is doing it themselves, and can be a little offended by it in that it appears to be a lack of confidence in them (even if they have earned the lack of confidence).

I would be sure the BWs know you plan to stop by any time unannounced to see your horse (even if you can't, they don't need to know that). I would also ask them to explain to you what they do if they notice something is wrong with your horse. (the right answer is to immediately contact the BO or you).

This is important - notice when things are done as you have contracted them to do and thank the workers for a job well done.

They have agreed to your requests for this horse's care and are obligated to provide it. Try to make some random visits and note (write down or otherwise document) if things are not done as agreed. After a few situations realizing I wasn't getting what I was paying for, my philosophy is that if I can show the work is not being done, I'm NOT paying for it. Fair is fair. That isn't being a tough customer, it's being fair.

And I'm sure others will agree, *almost* no one takes care of your horses like you would if you could!

[twofatponies]

If you don't go to the barn, it's going to be a whole lot worse, so go.

Having been this road more than once, I'm going to take a stab at this, and suggest that your HBW has been getting away with skating along for a while now, and your presence is forcing him to toe a line he really doesn't want to be toeing in the horse care department.

Your BO sounds like a lovely person who is probably being taken advantage of by the HBW, or she has been around the block with him enough times that she pretty well knows what he thinks she doesn't know about his habits, and will deal with him once enough complaints are amassed because he gets most of her work done, or because help is in short supply, so she needs to play both sides of the fence to keep things running, the boarders happy, and get the work done. Which is a constant balancing act in this situation and a PITA.

None of which is your problem.

You pay the bills, so you go visit your horse as many times a day as you please. If you have to complain about the care issues, complain to the BO and let her handle the HBW. Otherwise, if you constantly deal with only him, the cycle will constantly repeat itself, and your BO will be blissfully out of the loop, thinking all with this guy is going well. Cleave to the BO, and let her deal with the garbage. That's what she is paid to do. And above all, enjoy your horse as much as you want, each and every day!

My thoughts exactly!

[copper1]

I find it amazing that you need to pay so much extra for such simple things like the fly mask and adding the meds!

[cloudyandcallie]

Move.

You've been constructively evicted, you can move without notice and I'd do just that. They aren't providing the services that you are paying for.

It will only get worse. Once people get mad at you, whether the workers at the barn or the BO, and they get mad cause you want the services that you pay for, they will not do better, but will take it out on the horse.

I've seen it at other barns. And I've had to be passive-aggressive to get services for my horses that I paid for, and I've had to do lots of volunteer work at the barns to get services, and pay extra.

Move, it is not worth the worry and expense. You will eventually find a good barn where the BO will appreciate what you do and pay, and your horse will then get taken care of and FED. You don't want colic from not having hay and feed for most of the day/night.

It takes lots of tries, but eventually you will get a nice barn like the one we're at now. (took years though)

[cloudyandcallie]

Oh and when someone asks, are you coming back to barn tomorrow, say no, I have something else to do.

Then go to the barn the next day. You'll be shocked at what you find concerning your horse and the other boarders. :eek:

[VCT]

I am blown away by how many "extras" you have to pay for... I hope your "base board rate" is low so all this al la carte stuff adds up to a reasonable board amount but this is ridiculous. ALL horses whether they be on stall rest or not should have some sort of grazing forage in front of them pretty dang near all the time, unless they're an air-fern or something.

I think the best you can hope for is that the HBW is the type that really takes ownership of his job & equine charges care and maybe he sees you as invading his turf. If that is the case, if you can make nice with him he'll probably concede to all your wishes for your horse and do a great job taking care of your horse. The fact that he's a stickler for quarantine for new horses actually speaks well of him. My point is, you have to find a way to get this gruff, prickly HBW "on your side"... how you do that depends on the person. Some people will respond to a kind gesture, others will respond to being stood up to, etc. Unfortunately, this type of person is the type, in my experience, who will maybe ignore some things he should do for your animal if he doesn't like you.

Anyways, if you like this barn, try to figure out your best course of action be it going to the BO, or trying to buddy up with the HBW. Or, just look for a new barn where you don't have to deal with this scenario.

Best of luck!

[Woodland]

One of my specialties is rehab. I have a small hands on stables. In my opinion the farm you are at is too large to handle the special needs of your horse. When the barn owner/manager agrees to the special needs and then delegates them to an underling, there is always a chance the underling is unwilling or unable to comply.

My advice is to find a more owner involved stables, you will not be satisfied where you are at.

[slc2]

I'd suggest growing a pretty thick hide for the worker's comments and just ignoring all of the 'attitude' and just concentrating on getting what you pay for. I've been in barns where the workers were 1. a heroin addict 2. a very angry young man who had been convicted of domestic abuse 3. a whole lot of other people with problems. One young lady told us we should get REAL jobs (working in a barn was the only REAL job). Even if they have no problems, their person-to-person skills aren't always at the highest level. I usually was treated well, but I got used to hearing a lot of snotty remarks made to other people - less experienced people ridiculed because of their misconceptions or fussing over their little darlings professionals because they were constantly insisting the arenas be dragged or things be repaired.

If a barn worker asks 'will you be here every day' in a snotty way, like 'you're a pain in the ass', I'd just say what my schedule is and try very hard not to get real scared or worried about it. WHY? Because this sort of stuff tends to go on all the time. It's very hard to have barn workers and managers that are completely polite all the time. A barn really should be like any business and people should be polite and I am not saying this is good. I am saying is is pretty much 'business as usual'. There are just a lot of comments made at most barns and you have to grow a pretty thick skin.

If things are not getting done, I'd look for another place, and just be pleasant and businesslike til you can leave.

But also, and no, I'm not saying this is good but it is extremely, EXTREMELY difficult to rehab a horse from a injury at a public boarding stable, or even, at a lot of private boarding stables and training barns. I had to do it and it was miserable - absolutely miserable. None of the 'top quality facilities' I was at were really equipped to modify their routine as much as needed, or to remember treatments and medications. He was not hand walked (yes, I paid for it) and there were myriad problems. It just DID NOT WORK OUT. At first I was very frustrated and I just decided that it is not realistic to expect one kind of facility to turn into another kind of facility for your horse. This was a long time ago but I seriously doubt this is ever going to change.

It is very expensive to send a horse to a real rehab facility. It's completely out of court for most people. However there are some rehab facilities that do some boarding, quarantining and other health-related layups and care, and if you can swing it,, I would really recommend boarding at a specialist facility that does layups and rehabs. A horse may recover much more quickly there and wind up having a much better recovery with a more solid healing up. He might be laid up for a year with several re-injuries, or be at a rehab facility for a much shorter time, not get re-injured and wind up with much less disability in the long run.

It's really worth considering - I think it is very often unrealistic to expect a boarding stable to do a lot of extra care for a rehab. Even if they are paid.

I had one of my horses at Rigbie and I can't ever thank them for all they did for the horse. They treated my horse like it I would - the attention, level of care and everything else were unbelievable. And it's their job. They're set up to do it and that's what they do and there is no forgetting extras because that's what they specialize in.

[hosshopper13]

I wanted to thank you for posting your issue, because I am going through something extremely similar, although I have been fighting moving for longer (mostly due to lack of boarding facilities available in the area)...anyway...I just want to add, from someone who is currently dealing with the same bull that you are- get away from that situation, it is only going to be a grand waste of money and time, because a boarding facility should be somewhere you can leave you horse where you are comfortable, not where you are constantly worrying and re-doing the services you are paying for!!! (Sorry I am a little upset)

[MistyBlue]

Time to employ psychological warfare. :D
Next time grouchy semi-scary person asks, "Are you coming here tomorrow???" grin huge and say, "Yep, yep I am. And the next day and the next and every single day. Hey, I really like you! You're my new best friend...call me every 5 minutes and I'm going to go out and buy us some matching outfits! See you tomorrow, I'll bring recipes so we can start swapping them!" :lol: :lol: :lol:
Believe me...they back off. Many times they either run screaming or break into a grin themselves.
And try to remember this: People can only scare you if *you* allow them to.

[nervousalter]

>>This is important - notice when things are done as you have contracted them to do and thank the workers for a job well done. <<

bit-o-honey, I try to be kind to everyone at the barn. I thank the barn workers for one thing or the other every single day. I'm pretty sure I'm not a PITA: I arrive, say hello to anyone I see, go to my gelding's paddock, rub him, hug him (he's still new to me and I'm still thrilled to have him, gimpy or not), groom him, take the boots off, clean his feet, clean out the boots, put the boots back on, put fly spray on him, walk him around for a couple minutes and leave. I'm rarely there more than an hour and it's a 40 minute drive to the stable.

>>I find it amazing that you need to pay so much extra for such simple things like the fly mask and adding the meds!<<

After posting this morning and just thinking about all of your replies, I realized that I'm paying for a lot of things that just aren't applicable: his medicine is fed as a supplement, I take care of his fly mask and boots, he doesn't wear a blanket, and I'm perfectly capable of handling his scheduling. I pay for the handwalking in case there's an emergency and I can't make it to the barn. But then again, I've never actually seen him being walked, so really don't know if it's happening.

Also, it's the barn's policy that all horses go through quarantine, and if there's already a horse in quarantine, using the quarantine paddock, the new horse is kept stalled (they're double sized stalls) until the first is out. Right now there is another horse in the quarantine paddock, so even if my gelding weren't hurt, he'd be exactly where he is. Only difference being that he's not putting any wear and tear on the common facilities.

>>The fact that he's a stickler for quarantine for new horses actually speaks well of him.<<

Oh, I do appreciate their quarantine policies - believe me, having left a barn where I never knew which new horse would be stabled next to mine on any given day, I appreciate the preventative measures. I was not upset being told that I had to go last, I was upset with what followed.

hosshopper13, what happened to your horse?

>>"Are you coming here tomorrow???" grin huge and say, "Yep, yep I am. And the next day and the next and every single day. Hey, I really like you! You're my new best friend...call me every 5 minutes and I'm going to go out and buy us some matching outfits! See you tomorrow, I'll bring recipes so we can start swapping them!" <<

:D After a margarita, maybe.

>>And try to remember this: People can only scare you if *you* allow them to. <<

I'm not frightened for myself - my dad always taught me to run at the bear - I'm frightened for my gelding, if the HBW decides to take his issue with me (whatever it may be) out on him.

I'll look into rehab facilities in my area. I really hadn't even thought about that until you all mentioned it. I would much rather pay more now than wind up with a 10 year old pasture ornament.

Still trying to figure out why he wouldn't want me at the barn. I'll sleep on it and let you know if I come up with something.

[abbydp]

I agree that you might need to consider moving. I have run a large boarding barn, and for the amount of extras you are paying for, they should hand feed your horse grain by grain if that's what he needs. I can't imagine asking someone to pay that much and then allow any employees to short them any of it. I would try and have a long talk with the owner, alone, and when he is not distracted, as he seems to care. Obviously they don't want to do extra stuff, as they have an a la crate list. But when they are being paid for it, it is good money. What you are asking for doesn't in my book seem to be a lot, espcially knowing the schedule. If they were fed and turned out at more like 8:30 or so, then yours not getting hay (that is out of the normal routine) by 9 isn't so surprising. 2 + hours after, though is pushing it. Are they waiting to give him hay after they have cleaned his stall? If that is the case you could provide a net or bag. Maybe they don't understand the reasons for the specific requests on the boots. If it is something unusual for them, and they don't understand the consequences for your horse, either without them or having them on at the wrong time, then they might not get it that it is important. And yes, I know you asked for it, and are paying for it, but sometimes understanding why and the importance helps them remember.

[bamboozled]

Been in a similar situation....mind games :( Ugh

You are paying very dearly for services, obviously your check is good and they are willing to cash it.

DO make a PITA of yourself and go see your horse when you want. Handwalk away!......if you're lucky, you may be accused of "spying"...:D I was.

Speak with the BO about the routine, what he expects of his employees and what decisions they are empowered to make on their own. With the attitude you got at your car window, I suspect that the worker is paranoid about something and is keeping it from the BO. Do not cower from this person...they actually respect bullying back, as perverse as that sounds.

Do quietly document things though. You may have to negotiate the lack of services on your board bill.

[abbydp]

He doesn't want you at the barn because you notice if he hasn't done something.

[Baroque-n-Dreams]

Well, the first thing that freaked me out was the feeding schedule!

It was after 9am and your boy still hadn't seen his hay? What the heck time do they do the "evening" feeding? I know the barn we had our boy at training at fed at 5am and 3pm every day so they didn't get meals on top each other. Feeding breakfast at 9:30 and getting dinner at 3pm would be what I consider too close together.

Honestly, if I were you, I'd get a little notebook going for your visits and make notes about things each day, like if he was fed when you arrived, condition, etc.

If you start seeing a pattern that concerns you, talk to the BO/BM about the concerns.

You're writing a huge check for services rendered, and since a horse is not an inanimate object (even on stall rest), they deserve decent care and consideration. Equines have feelings too.

[Milocalwinnings]

He doesn't want you at the barn because you notice if he hasn't done something.


Ditto.

I've been in a situation where I really was afraid what was going on when I was not there (and I embarassingly was a barn worker there at one point, but after I quit I had to leave my gelding there while I found a new place to board). Long story short, when I was an employee, I had proof the horses weren't being fed if I was not working that day/weekend and I quit because of the poor care I saw happening.
We got a nasty ice storm one day and my gelding was out in a pasture with no shelter. The BO was coming to drop off another girl who lived in my neighborhood who also worked there so I dropped a blanket off with her and asked her if she'd put it on. I go out the next day (gelding had an abscess that needed tending to) and he's out with no blanket on. The blanket was still in their truck.
Her excuse was that it was dark and he was all the way in the back, so she didn't want to go out there and she didn't want to make her husband go out there. Yet she had NO problem making me go out, in the pouring rain at midnight (when I was still an employee) to blanket horses who weren't fond of people during the day, let alone at night with a scary blanket.


I get the feeling that this HBW doesn't do half the things he should be unless someone is watching him. He's probably slacking in areas he can when people won't notice (how would someone know if he handwalked the horse or not? He could just as easily say "yeah I did it this morning" when he really didn't).

If it were me, I'd be looking for a new place to board. And in the meantime, take notes on things you notice not being done, or not being done well.
JMO.


I should add that I've been at my current barn for 2 years and I have never worried about the care my gelding is getting. I love it there! I can tell you from personal experience that it is NOT worth boarding at barn where you feel you need to go out every day just to make sure your horse is being cared for.

[FancyFree]

Wow OP, I've felt your pain. It sucks when your barn situation becomes uncomfortable. Whether it's due to hostile workers or a psychotic fellow boarder, it really takes the fun out of having a horse. I've been there and have since moved away from the crazy stalker/boarder. I can't tell you the relief I felt when my horse stepped off the trailer into her new place. The barn owner, boarders and workers at my new place are great. Life is too short for a shitty boarding situation. I'd look for a new place. I just can't see how that guy is going to come around.

You should move.

[FolsomBlues]

Do you pay a flat fee for the extra services whether you use them or not? At the last barn I was at, they charged $2 per day when the blanket had to be put on and taken off. They also only charged to hand walk on days when they actually had to do it ($5 I think). Same with fly masks, holding for farrier, etc. They only charged when they actually did it, not when they *might* have to do it at some point during the month. Sounds like kind of a rip off to me.

[VCT]

Well, the first thing that freaked me out was the feeding schedule!

It was after 9am and your boy still hadn't seen his hay? What the heck time do they do the "evening" feeding? I know the barn we had our boy at training at fed at 5am and 3pm every day so they didn't get meals on top each other. Feeding breakfast at 9:30 and getting dinner at 3pm would be what I consider too close together.

Honestly, if I were you, I'd get a little notebook going for your visits and make notes about things each day, like if he was fed when you arrived, condition, etc.

If you start seeing a pattern that concerns you, talk to the BO/BM about the concerns.

You're writing a huge check for services rendered, and since a horse is not an inanimate object (even on stall rest), they deserve decent care and consideration. Equines have feelings too.

Uh, I wouldn't freak out about what time the AM feed is done.... when you don't know the rest of the schedule. What bothers me is that it sounded like he was grained and then a long time went by and he had no hay/forage.
I often feed at 8-9AM. I feed the evening meal at 7-8PM.

[horse-loverz]

I pay full board. I pay extra ($35) to have medicine administered (I mix ground up pills with molasses, so it can be poured on his feed - they just have to pour it). I pay extra ($15) to have his fly mask taken on and off (though I keep it on 24/7). I pay extra ($50) to have him handwalked EOD in case I can't make it. I pay extra ($35) to have him blanketed (although it's been warm and he doesn't even have a blanket yet). And I pay extra ($15) to have the BO keep track of his farrier/vet visits.

I asked if I could pay extra to make sure those boots were checked and put back on if he got one off, but the BO said I was paying so much in extras already, that taking care of the boots would be free. Also offered to pay for extra hay since he's laid up, but the BO said that had already been factored into my board price.


:eek: First off those extras.... I hope the base board is darned cheap because most of what you are paying extra for is included in my board, and it's not at a fancy scmancy facility either. I can see the extra for handwalking (if they actually do it) but the rest seems like overkill in the a la carte dept..... After a bad episode with an overcontrolling BM who didn't allow farrier or vet options and the bad results that happened from that I now keep track of my own vet and farrier visits and unless it is something like worming or maybe vaccinations that the BO wants all the horses on the same schedule and the vet is combining the visit to do all horses I would just assume take care of it all myself. JMHO though.

As to the not feeling welcome well if you have only been there a couple of weeks and you already feel uncomfortable going to see your own horse at a barn you pay to take care of him then it does not bode well for the future. In this economy with people selling off horses etc they should be happy to have such a "full service" customer such as you. Heck they should be thrilled that you are there to do the handwalking that you are paying them to do. More money for them. :winkgrin:. I would alert the BO. Tell him that you really want to be happy at his facility but the HBW is making you uncomfortable. Or just casually ask him if it frowned upon to see your horse every day because the HBW made it seem like it would be a problem.

Your horse is not in prison.. there is no such thing as "visiting hours or a certain number of days" to see your horse. (reasonable barn hours I understand) You are the customer here and it seems like the HBW has forgotten that.

I too would keep a written log of dates and times visited and what wasn't done because you can sure bet I would be deducting it from my board bill. :yes:

Start looking for another barn... if they treat you this way already it will only get worse. :no:

[Hazelnut]

Trust your gut. :yes:

If your gut tells you things aren't going well, they're not.

Talk to the Manager/owner about your concerns. If things don't perk up after that...you're not in the right place for what your horse needs.

I would not tell them when you plan to be at the barn. Routine, but random times so they do not know when you might show up.

Twice on some days is a really good thing. They think you've been in for the day, so its a good time to check out whats happening.

Good luck. I hate this kind of thing.

[flyingchange]

I dealt with this at my last boarding situation (after which I got my own place). Big attitude from the BM. She was just snarky and rude from day one. On day three I called her boss (the BO) and just told her that I felt the BM was being rude and condescending to me and not even trying to be professionally courteous, which was all I asked.

Next day, the BM was ever so nice to me. No more BS after that.

I don't play mind games. I don't try to "work it out" in these situations. I shouldn't have to when I'm the client. Been there, done that enough. Don't give this HBW the benefit of even talking to him or playing mind games or any other drama. Deal only with the BO and if it doesn't change immediately, then leave.

Visiting your horse should not be a stressful experience. People like this suck.

[fivehorses]

Abbyd summed it up...."He doesn't want you at the barn because you notice if he hasn't done something."

I suggest moving asap. I am with you...I don't want anyone taking it out on my horse, and you know they will.

The barn owner sounds sweet and nice as can be, but the worker does not, and I would also bet, BO does not know how to 'correct' worker.

I find it totally unacceptable that a stalled horse does not get hay while others are being turned out. Jeesh, at my private 10 horse barn, the ones last to get turned out get some hay to keep them patient while I am turning the others out. Not feeding your horse, tells me, there are too many horses there for yours to get the supported care needed at this time(already been mentioned) or the worker just doesn't care.

Move. If things are not fundamentally where you need or want them to be, they will not change. Small things can change, but larger issues...they don't change or improve.

[98neigh]

jeez, I wish when I was a BO my boarders were like you. I guess I should be complimented that they dropped their horses off and never came again, but it sure would have been nice if they'd come to see them at least once a week (these were not lay-ups or retirees).

Anyway I too am shocked that there is no hay by 9 AM for a stalled horse. perhaps wait to give him hay until all the other are out, but really one horse could get his hay while all the others are getting grain and no one would notice. And I have to agree with the posters suggesting you move. The worker probably has been slacking and with you coming out daily, it's going to be noticed.

You sound like a nice person, the BO sounds like a nice person. I'd move. Good luck

[twinkle]

You definitely need to talk to the BO immediately. If you want to be Ms. Nicey-Nice, you can couch the conversation in standard "steel magnolia-speak." Just tell the BO that after a couple of things HBW said (he has so much to keep track of; bless his heart!) you just want to "confirm" the list of services Horsey-poo is to get and "confirm" that you have paid for all these and "confirm" that these extra duties are not "too much trouble" for HBW (bless his heart!). You can even let her know that HBW (bless his heart!) seemed surprised/concerned that you planned to come out daily and you want to "confirm" that it is acceptable for boarders to visit their horses and use the facilities daily. You can always add in a self-depracating: "I'm new here and don't want to inadvertently make any faux pas!"

As others have already said, it's the BO's job to make sure the barn runs smoothly and that services s/he promises to clients are provided. If any employees are not following through fully and properly on the services promised promising to boarders, she needs to know that so s/he can take appropriate action. It's a business relationship.

I like your style ;-D

[twinkle]

Time to employ psychological warfare. :D
Next time grouchy semi-scary person asks, "Are you coming here tomorrow???" grin huge and say, "Yep, yep I am. And the next day and the next and every single day. Hey, I really like you! You're my new best friend...call me every 5 minutes and I'm going to go out and buy us some matching outfits! See you tomorrow, I'll bring recipes so we can start swapping them!" :lol: :lol: :lol:
Believe me...they back off. Many times they either run screaming or break into a grin themselves.
And try to remember this: People can only scare you if *you* allow them to.

I like this attitude also.

I'm getting good ideas on how to handle people.

[Posting Trot]

I think SLC is right: even if this barn and the HBW turn out to be perfectly fine in many ways, they may not be equipped to take care of a horse that is essentially on lay-up.

How confident are you of the HBW's ability to deal with hand-walking a horse that has become a little fractious because of stall-rest? It takes a lot of experience to deal with that and for the handler to not either blow his top at the horse or just decide not to do the handwalking at all.

Ditto with the other management issues.

Ultimately, you'd probably be better off with the horse at a place that specializes in layups, or at a very small private barn close to where you live where you can do the various tasks yourself without it blowing a gaping hole in your day.

At the very least you don't want to have to tiptoe around an HBW who clearly has some kind of issue with you being there on a regular basis. Talking to the BO might help with the situation, but you have to assume that the BO's business relationship with HBW is probably longer than the business relationship with you, and your concerns may simply be written off as you being a PITA.

Good luck.

[gloriginger]

: People can only scare you if *you* allow them to.

I disagree...we are wired to fear for a very good reason- if this guy gives you creepy vibes there is a very good reason. (I believe the quote is that people can only intimidate you if you let them - which may be what you meant, but I think fear and intimidation are two very different things.)

I do agree that he doesn't want you around because you are calling him to the carpet on being a slacker, but I fore see this playing ut two ways- the BW gets the boot, or things get progressively worse, and you will move. He sounds like a real a-hole.

[cloudyandcallie]

He doesn't want you at the barn because you notice if he hasn't done something.

You said it better than anyone.
Some barns are great, and some only want first time owners who are once a week visitors, so they do not know what is going on.

[Woodland]

How are things going today?

I feel so bad for you!

All the best!

[SunnysideJate]

I agree with the above poster. Move. If they are making no attempt to ensure your horse is cared for according to you agreement (and paying ALOT for) while you are new they are only going to get worse. I know it sucks but my experience is that once a service is not provided at a barn it does not get better. It took me a few barns to find the one I am at and it is worth the stress and headaches.

[nickers@dawn]

What keeps striking me as odd is the reference so many have made about the BW being annoyed at the visits of the OP. At what barn out there do BWs not expect boarders to come out to see their horses??? I was a BW and then a BM and I never thought it strange if people came out once a day, once a week, or even 2 times a day if there horse was sick or injured. People used to drop by during the weekday if they had a day off unexpectedly, and it was never a big deal, because we as workers prided ourselves on taking good care of the horses! I loved it when people came out, I enjoyed talking to the boarders, many who became good friends.

Why this BW thinks he can scare people off is beyond me, the whole point of boarding is to be able to go see your horse when you want! That's what you are paying for! I think the BO better get out to the barn more often and feel the pulse of the place. While the cat's away the mice will play!

[MistyBlue]

I disagree...we are wired to fear for a very good reason- if this guy gives you creepy vibes there is a very good reason. (I believe the quote is that people can only intimidate you if you let them - which may be what you meant, but I think fear and intimidation are two very different things.)

True, good point in that we can't always control a fear response. I should have mentioned how we *react* to fear responses is up to us.
But then I'm not someone who reacts to fear...people don't tend to scare me unless they're actively chasing me with a chainsaw. Then I'll react to fear, LOL! Otherwise all the posturing, comments and facial expressions they can dish out rarely effect me at all and basically just kick in my Wise Arse gene. :D Confident body language and an open straight forward personality can disarm many a wanna-be scary person.
Or as my husband likes to joke, "Honey, there aren't many people scarrier than you." :lol: He jokes though...I'm not actually scary. It's more of a "people leave the crazy folks alone" vibe. ;)

[sidepasser]

Dang I must be a moron..when I ran my boarding barn I did layups and rehab - the last rehab I had was a gut shot arab stallion.

Charged the same for him as any "normal" horse and cleaned his wound, bandaged, hand walked, hayed 3 times a day and groomed him. Held him for the vet and farrier and took his blanket off and on at no charge.

Figured he was a nice horse, got shot by a hunter and spent MONTHS at the University hospital so his owners were strapped for cash, so on the days they couldn't come out, I took care of the boy.

Never thought about charging for "extras" - to me, he was a horse that had a few extra needs and was very well mannered and like all the other horses boarded here at the time, he had his own private paddock when he was well enough to go out for turnout.

Lovely horse all around.

I don't understand barns charging for every.little.thing. I liked folks coming and seeing all the horses well groomed, the mud hosed off their hooves and hooves clean, a good going over with a curry and the stalls clean.

Still makes no sense to me how people will charge for what I consider proper horse care. Now if you wanted me to read to the horse, or bring it a cold beverage of choice, or get your stallion in the mood by providing a strip show by a willing mare..that's another story..

Turnout, hand walk, change a wrap or bandage, put boots on, or clean the stall..that's proper horse care in my book. I quit boarding because of lack of barn help (no one wants to work anymore, even at ten dollars an hour to feed and turnout)..not because I lost money boarding, etc. I felt that one should have proper barn help to make sure the horses were always cared for, not just a "worker who might show up".

Sorry you are going through this, best to get HBW on your side (though Lord knows if he worked for me, he'd be on your side or fired)..maybe that is why I had a waiting list for the ten years I boarded for others.

Talk with the BO, drop in unexpectedly, report ALL findings such as no hay, no water, dirty stall, etc. to the BO..if nothing improves...MOVE.

[BuddyRoo]

While I understand schedules, visiting hours and the like with big barns especially, this smacks to me of a person who feels like you're invading their turf and changing the rules. BW person (or whatever title suits) is used to hands off boarders and doing things to a level he/ she feels is appropriate--regardless of what is being paid for. You are a perceived as a threat.

Sounds like BO doesn't have a clue.

Horses first. It's normal for a laid up horse to be cranky....but you've got red flags all over the danged place.

I'm so sorry.

[Woodland]

Please respond to my inquiry in the "Spin off post"

[cu.at.x]

I didn't take the time to read all the replies, but my advice is this. You are a CUSTOMER in that barn. You are paying top dollar to board your horse there (in my opinion some of the services you mentioned--blankets, fly spray etc--should be included in regular board), and there is no reason he should be receiving inadequate care, nor should you be treated with an attitude from the owner or any of the employees. Are there any other barns you can look into moving your horse to? I would.

[dab]

Forgive me for making a sweeping generalization, but I find that barns that have separate fees for services often don't provide those services as well as full care facilities -- I find it really irritating that these nickel-and-dime type barns easily charge more than full care facilities when you add in fairly standard services like blanketing and turnout -- I also find it irritating when a barn charges for a service, but does not train their staff to perform the service safely/correctly --

[Touchstone Farm,Ky]

I know how hard it is to move over and over but the BW is already taking it out on your horse. He neglected the boots that are essential to your horses rehab, Risked ulcers by not feeding him when he's fretting about the other horses being out while he's confined. Allowed a fly mask to be displace for who knows how long and those are just the things you know about. If a BW can intimidate you and get away with bad behavior the BO is not involved enough regardless of how nice he is to you. Bad horsemanship doesn't improve when you're not there and you will always be worried. Tell the BO why you are moving and find someplace new asap. <climbing down off my soapbox>

[slc2]

Oh and please, just forget the 'psychological warfare'. What you think is 'clever' and 'effective' - it just isn't. It doesn't work. Keep your distance from people, don't get emotionally involved, and don't play games. Keep it strictly to business, completely unemotional, and don't EVER pretend to yourself you can out-manouver someone who is at the barn all day when you aren't. I get so sick of the juvenile advice given here time and time again to 'do psychological warfare'.

Let me tell it to you real plain. They are there all day, your horse is there all day, and you are not. You don't HAVE any psychological warfare that you can do. None. Get it out of your head.

dislike of barns that charge for every little thing:

Ah.

I think many people would far RATHER pay extra for something as they feel it is more of an explicit contract stating it has to be done. If it's NOT done, there's no excuse, the manager expressly agreed it would be done.

My experience? Neither paying extra nor agreements to do it 'for free' work out. Unless that place is expressly set up to do rehab, the owner, manager and workers ALL FEEL IT IS VALUABLE, and the payroll, hours and other tasks aare all set up very explicitly and carefully so it CAN be done.

One gal said she did after care for free. That's nice, but very, very few operations do that.

Board has changed a great deal in the many decades I boarded. 25 years ago, I paid 200 a month to board at a deluxe facility with an inhouse trainer, gorgeous out door and indoor arenas, safely fenced paddocks, a place to hack in the woods, and owner/manager on the property and taking care of the horse as if it was mine. I had onsite lessons from a nationally ranked dressage trainer five days a week for an additional 200 a month. We were called IMMEDIATELY if there was an injury, negligent help was fired, and things ran like a clock. Vet visits were scheduled, the farrier was scheduled by them, worming was done by them, and it cost 200 dollars. This was a professional training barn with everything top class, not a family or backyard barn.

You would be hard pressed to find an equivalent barn today for 3 times that.

Especially the idea of vet care and farrier care. Over the years, boarding barns have included less and less; expecting them to not change with the times is just not realistic. You just get a lot less for your dollar than yiou used to.

Many barns have continued to profit by offering very basic care for a large number of horses. Owners schedule the blacksmith and the vet, owners are responsible for getting out and noticing injuries, and the barn provides the facility, feed and bedding, stall cleaning 5-6 days a week and not on holidays, show days or the help's day off. That's it. You're just asking for the impossible to expect them to do veterinary care. They don't have the payroll, the time, and in some cases even the belief it's important!

In a lot of barns, and I've talked to staff so I know this can be true - detail care, especially after care for injuries, is regarded as 'fussing' and 'unneccessary'. I've talked to enough barn managers and help to know that what YOU think is necessary, even what your VET thinks as necessary, alot of people think of as very UNnecessary.

Example. This was some time ago but I don't think any of this is rare today. Top quality expensive facility. Person pays to have their horse hand walked. The vet specifically says, the horse is not to be longed. It plays up during longeing and may re-injure itself, but more than that, the constant circling motion of longeing directly affects its injury and will LIKELY substantially delay or stop healing.

The help, the barn manager, longes the horse. 'The horse doesn't NEED to be hand walked!' was his declaration, and when pressed, 'Hand walking takes too long'. My questions about 'well, gee, do you think it's a good idea?' were answered with an explanation of how stupid it is to lay up horses and hand walk them after injuries, it's just unnecessary fussing and the owner will never know the difference.

This was a TOP CLASS facility, commanding the highest boarding price in the area, and offering hand walking as a standard board alternative to turnout or longeing, with no extra charge. To top it off, there was a black board with a line for each horse and it was written down EVERY DAY on that board, that the horse was HAND WALKED.

But here's the deal. The manager and owner were constantly trying to cut back on payroll. They had let go their night person and reduced their open hours already. They had TWO stall cleaners who were allowed to spend 10 minutes per stall, this included bedding and taking out the manure (each worker had a gator with a small carrier on it, so had to make constant trips back and forth to a distant manure pile, and the time spent doing that was substantial). Plus there were over 50 horses. The stalls needed to be cleaned every day. They were supposed to finish all the stalls in 4 hours. Fact was, TWO people couldn't do all those stalls in 4 hours, and all the hand walking was relegated to one of the stall cleaners. When he did hand walk, he walked the horses in a scenic area he liked - an area paved with big chunk gravel, steep slopes and other things injured horses probably should not be walked on.

The people at the facility had no idea what rehab care was. None. They did not have a clue as to what horses need when they get injured. They had absolutely no training, no experience, and even if they had the barn manager and owner set up their schedule so they could not possibly do it. if they DID do it, they'd probably injure the horses! They did not put on boots correctly, they did not consistently give medications, they did not know how to wrap and they had absolutely no idea that leading an injured horse over rocks, up and down slopes and longeing it was harmful and against vet's orders, and even if you told them, they'd still do it, because you weren't there to watch them.

And when that attitude and knowledge isn't there, you aren't going to be the one to change it. You can't change people's basic attitudes, how they think, and what they think is important. And you cannot convince people that what you think is important, really is important, if they just don't believe it. If someone believes in rough care for horses and thinks your way of caring for them is 'fussing' and 'neurotic' and 'unnecessary', that's a basic attitude. That is a part of the person's value set. You won't change it.

And you will never, ever change what TYPE of facility a barn is. If they feed at 9 am, if they turn out horses on any good pasture without feeding some hay first (Helloooo colic city), if they do most of what you've described....honey you just aren't going to change that.

Don't EVER think you can. You can't. People have the kind of boarding barn they WANT. They have the kind of place they like and you aren't going to change it.

If you keep your ears open, you can figure out what the setup is at a place, without even asking any questions. If you keep your ears open, what you will hear is 'your rehab care will not get done'. The facility's attitude, the way the tasks and payroll are set up, the way the worker's time is set up, you can tell without even asking a single question that it will not get done reliably.

Contrast this with what happens at a facility like Rigbie.

The women who run that place are absolutely on fire to have every single horse come out of there PERFECT. They have been doing sport horses, the top sport horses in the world, for a very long time. They are both on exactly the same page. They do not run a sloppy ship. Every single thing you ever heard anyone do, or read about in a top facility, that's what they do.

They make their money by attending to every single detail. They are trained to bandage, boot, hand walk, and they talk to your vet AND you, and this is just what they do, they send you updates, they are up on the latest, and they have help trained to a high standard, plus they have facilities like a straight-line eurociser that other facilities don't have. Their payroll, their facility, their schedule EVERYTHING is set up with the intention of doing rehab care. My horse came out of there so fit he was jumping out of his skin.

[Tamara in TN]

NA posted:
Still trying to figure out why he wouldn't want me at the barn. I'll sleep on it and let you know if I come up with something.

at the risk of bring COTH fire on my head...I'll speak for the Head Man at the Barn...I did in fact, when I had a life long ago run a pretty big farm...180 acres...30-45 horses at any given time 20 plus stalls stallions babies boarders inlaws mares lessons trail rides...

you get the picture...anyway...there is a certain mojo to a well run place...things are done, when they are done, in an overall harmonious way....a schedule is maintained...now anytime a new person comes they must adjust to the schedule...not the other way around...

ie:if you want to ride at 4pm and that is when all the kids have lessons after school and you hate kids ...well sorry the kids will come first...the needs of the many outweight the needs of the one...(Spock of Vulcan) :>

now I asked earlier why you called him the Head Worker...if he is any management over the other workers you really do need to recognize that in your dealings with him...that is only a polite way to deal with his position...honestly, calling him the Head Worker reminds me of the old days when someone was the "head negro"... :< boss of the underlings but nothing of matter to the speaker

this gentleman still has a position that perhaps he has no title for nor extra pay but he should have some show from you that you recognize this...

being catty to him will not help...going over his head will not help...asking him to do something to your guy with boots may or may not have been a big deal to you and seems simple enough...but take into account the other things he has to deal with also in the overall running of the place....

there are barns that we deal with where we NEVER see the manager only the "barn workers" and the workers do their damnest to AVOID all the borders...perferring to muck out and do that work well before 5 am...and that is sad...but they do it for a reason...

as you say "run at the bear", but face him respectfully and honestly...if he is the "go to guy" there then you need to "go to " him and see how you can help the transitions be made easier...it is not about the money that so many people here like to either flash around,brag about or wave under others noses...no money in the world buys respect...

now none of that may apply to you at all in and that case delete me and go on...:>

best

[BumbleBee]

at the risk of bring COTH fire on my head...

You are a brave soul.:lol:

Glad you spoke up though cause I kinda agree.

He was in the middle of doing hay even if it was setting up night hay and your horse didn't have any yet. Well big deal you said yourself your horse is on quarantine. In that case he would be doing your horse last as to not contaminate what he has to do for the other horses.

Also depending on how seriously they take the quarantine it could be a real PITA to have to make sure you get the boot, mask, blanketing, hand walking, and regular care done as necessary without exposing the other horses to germs(strangles) that can be carried very easy on your clothes.

I can't imagine dealing with a quarantine horse more than twice a day if you have regular barn chores to do.

Also your horse should have been done last by the farrier. The BO screwed that up but still it sure makes the quarantine stuff seam like such a waste of time and effort if it is ignored willy nilly.

He/she may also be concerned you are contaminating the farm. If you are handling your horse then waltzing around the farm you could actually be defeating all the extra work that goes into quarantining a horse.

Just my 2 cents

[katarine]

some of you are eager to read into 'are you coming every day' then gaming your answers.

maybe he's trying to sort how much handwalking and handling of said QUARANTINED horse he's going to need to factor in vs. how much you are going to do.

Stop telling yourself stories about his intentions. Just stop it, it does nothing but upset your tummy and wrinkle your brow. ASK him why he asked, just say yes, why do you ask? and encourage him to answer you plainly.

Sort your FACTS then present them logically, w/o emotion. Then you can tell your story "I'm worried he's considered too much work for you guys and maybe this isn't a good fit. Am I right? What are your thoughts?"

That's the healthy way to find out what's up. Not the snarky smart ass games that leave you wondering what your next cunning angle should be.

Present the facts calmly. (no hay by 10AM or whatever, mask issues, etc)specifically...very specifically)
Tell your story - I'm worried
ask for their version: allow the possibility you are flat wrong or seeing things in a twisted up way.
Plan for action- what is going to different going forward? Who's doing what?


There, done :)

[FancyFree]

True, good point in that we can't always control a fear response. I should have mentioned how we *react* to fear responses is up to us.
But then I'm not someone who reacts to fear...people don't tend to scare me unless they're actively chasing me with a chainsaw. Then I'll react to fear, LOL! Otherwise all the posturing, comments and facial expressions they can dish out rarely effect me at all and basically just kick in my Wise Arse gene. :D Confident body language and an open straight forward personality can disarm many a wanna-be scary person.
Or as my husband likes to joke, "Honey, there aren't many people scarrier than you." :lol: He jokes though...I'm not actually scary. It's more of a "people leave the crazy folks alone" vibe. ;)

I agree with you and I am much like you. However, I have learned it's a whole 'nother ballgame when you have a vulnerable creature in the mix, be it your horse or your kid. The feeling of your horse being at risk in any way can cause huge anxiety and sleepless nights. You may be able to scare off a crazy person or you may incite that crazy person to actually do something to your horse. There are some actually insane people in horses. They may just be all talk or they may actually be dangerous. If it was just between me and the nutter, I'd make them wish they'd never messed with me. And I may one day have the opportunity to do that, but when my horse is with this person 24/7 or it's a crazy boarder that is at the barn at different times, that's just too big of a risk for me. I'm all for standing up for myself in any situation, but not when my horse is in the mix. I chose to get out and have never been happier or more relieved. Best to get out of a bad situation like that and be able to sleep at night.

I wouldn't engage in any type of psychological warfare. If you can't seem to work it out or keep having bad feelings, move.

When I referred to my kid, I was specifically talking about a recent parent/teacher conference where I had a "discussion" with my son's teacher about her strange way of doing multiplication. Because of it, she hasn't spoken to my son for three days. :rolleyes: So yeah, if it's just me at risk, my mouth is big, for everything else, I'm now a very cautious person because people can and sometimes will retaliate.

[Hopewell]

I too have been in this type of situation before--more than once. You have to find a new barn. It is misrable living with the nervousness and it only gets worse as your mind creates ever worsening scenarios! We are supposed to enjoy our horses and owe it to them to provide the best care possible. I hope you have other options nearby!

[gotabuk]

I too have been in this type of situation before--more than once. You have to find a new barn. It is misrable living with the nervousness and it only gets worse as your mind creates ever worsening scenarios! We are supposed to enjoy our horses and owe it to them to provide the best care possible. I hope you have other options nearby!

I've also been in similar situations...my advice would be to move to a smaller barn where your horse can get more individual care. In my experiences, the bigger the barn, the $hittier the care (I KNOW this is not true for ALL large boarding facilities, I'm just speaking from personal experience.) Please don't hate!

It's also posts like these that make me SO thankful that my horses are now in my backyard!! :) Piece of mind is priceless.

[smid2]

I haven't read all of the posts, but I have to throw in my two cents. I'm the main BW at our barn, responsible for morning feeding and turnout 6 out of the seven days a week. I'm responislbe for making sure all horses (that need them) get their blankets, splint boots, bell boots, fly masks and whatever else they need. I do my work well, no matter if I'm having a rough morning or not. Everyone gets equal care and no extra money is asked for to get this care
The HBW has no right to make you so uneasy about coming out to check on your boy. It almost sounds like he wants to get out of doing the extra work that you are PAYING for and that's why he asked if you were coming out. If he's getting all this extra money, he should do the work happily and hush otherwise.

[nervousalter]

I got to the barn at 10:30am this morning and my gelding had no hay and had pushed his metal hay trough in front of the gate to his indoor/outdoor. There was nobody else there, so I waited for a bit and wound up calling the BO to ask for permission to throw him some hay.

I'm going to look for another barn. There's a huge disconnect between what the BO says will be done and what the employee intends to do: the BO told me that after he was out of quarantine, my gelding would receive turnout in a small grass paddock, with a tree for shade, until he was through with rehab; today, the employee told me that he was going to fence off a small dirt section of a soon to be empty pasture, with no shade, for my gelding. I asked why he couldn't go in the grass paddock and was told that there was, "pooh in there". Utter BS. They pick the paddocks and pastures every day.

Another boarder phoned me today regarding a potential lease and I learned a lot. I'll post later - I'm completely disillusioned.

[BuddyRoo]

Hang in there. It happens.

Just make it right for the horse as quickly as you can.

[fivehorses]

someone earlier mentioned something about constructive termination of lease...in other words they are failing to do their part, which allows you to leave without 30 day notice.

I would arrange for your horse to leave before the next month's board is due.
Don't mention anything, just wait for the transporter, pack your horse in, and get out of there.

I am sorry this has happened. I don't really think there is a disconnect between bo and hbw....some people can smile and tell you they are doing one thing while not doing it all. Can't stand those type, and have met a few along the way. I think BO knows perfectly well what is happening, and since you mentioned it, and a day later no improvement, well, there is your answer.

[the_other_mother]

WOW. Just wow. You need to speak up, seriously. You are paying for those people to care for your horse and it doesnt sound like you are getting the care you are paying for. And I know people pay extra for extra little things but your extra charges seem excessive. You shouldnt be made to feel uncomfortable about going to the barn to see your own horse. And you certainly shouldnt be ordered around like that by the barn employees--whose salary you are helping pay. So yeah, all I can say is wow.

[slc2]

Be very careful who you believe, even if it's an opinion that agrees with yours. People have ALL SORTS OF REASONS for tattling on other people and convincing you how bad someone else is. Make up your own mind, by yourself, based on YOUR experiences, and leave everyone else out of it.

[Pony Person]

Make up your own mind, by yourself, based on YOUR experiences, and leave everyone else out of it.
I couldn't agree more. I don't have any advice, but good luck with your situation- sounds pretty tough:no:

[Bogie]

It sounds like you are making a good decision. If care doesn't improve after you've called them on several things, it never will. You are not getting what has been promised.

I hope you find a better barn soon!

I got to the barn at 10:30am this morning and my gelding had no hay and had pushed his metal hay trough in front of the gate to his indoor/outdoor. There was nobody else there, so I waited for a bit and wound up calling the BO to ask for permission to throw him some hay.

I'm going to look for another barn. There's a huge disconnect between what the BO says will be done and what the employee intends to do: the BO told me that after he was out of quarantine, my gelding would receive turnout in a small grass paddock, with a tree for shade, until he was through with rehab; today, the employee told me that he was going to fence off a small dirt section of a soon to be empty pasture, with no shade, for my gelding. I asked why he couldn't go in the grass paddock and was told that there was, "pooh in there". Utter BS. They pick the paddocks and pastures every day.

Another boarder phoned me today regarding a potential lease and I learned a lot. I'll post later - I'm completely disillusioned.

[abbydp]

I agree with Slc I think it was. It is all about the mentality of the total package. A basic, a la carte barn, no matter how nice the owner is, will never give the same care as a barn specializing in rehab or top quality show horses. It is an overall mentality that focuses on the details. I also whole-heartedly agree that you can not go to a barn hoping to change it or make it what you want. You can try but it will only result in stress and unhappiness. There are probably people that think your current barn is great, but they don't need what you need. I hate to rush to say move, but you are spending a lot of money to be unhappy or constantly stressed, not to mention it sounds like your horse is not getting the specialized care he needs.

You must make this decision for yourself. Treat them as you would want to be treated, with respect and honesty.

[Budrow]

Long thread...not yet thru it all, but this struck me:
"You could be right, Ambrey. I got to the barn a half hour earlier than usual on Thursday and my gelding had not a shred of hay. The horses are given grain at 6am and turned out at 7am. They get no hay in the morning. I had thought that they were throwing him more hay when they either gave him his grain or turned the others out... "
Ummmmmmm....no hay? I've been brought up to believe that they get hay first, kinda like an appetizer, then grain. Never heard of non-haying.

[BumbleBee]

Long thread...not yet thru it all, but this struck me:
"You could be right, Ambrey. I got to the barn a half hour earlier than usual on Thursday and my gelding had not a shred of hay. The horses are given grain at 6am and turned out at 7am. They get no hay in the morning. I had thought that they were throwing him more hay when they either gave him his grain or turned the others out... "
Ummmmmmm....no hay? I've been brought up to believe that they get hay first, kinda like an appetizer, then grain. Never heard of non-haying.

WOW That's just stupid.:eek:

[FootPerfect]

Not giving hay before grain isn't all that uncommon. It might not be right (I wouldn't do that, personally) but I know of a lot of barns in my area that do feed that way.

[BumbleBee]

Not giving hay before grain isn't all that uncommon. It might not be right (I wouldn't do that, personally) but I know of a lot of barns in my area that do feed that way.

You missed what she said they get NO hay in the AM.

[Miss-O]

If you are going to leave without 30 day notice (which you definitely have just cause for IMO) then start keeping track of everything NOW. Document everything. Write down what days and times you were there in which there was no hay, boots weren't taken care of etc.

[trubandloki]

You missed what she said they get NO hay in the AM.

I would normally agree with you, but she said the horses do not get hay in the AM before they are turned out.
This does not bother me that much. The horses go out and graze for their forage.
Seems OK with me.

Now, all the other stuff seems some what weird. Waiting for update from the OP.

[VAHorseGurl]

... so I waited for a bit and wound up calling the BO to ask for permission to throw him some hay.

I've been sorta following this thread, and I feel for you, I really do. But Why in HELL do you have to ask to give YOUR horse hay? Don't you pay an exborant amount in boarding and extras? You shouldn't have to ask for anything!!!

[goeslikestink]

have you got mug written on your head?

find another yard there care level is worth p in a pot

your a paying client paying for a service and a bloody lot and all
come to england and let me have your horsey

god -- you know if you want to stay there then theres a little ssolution you can do
ask the bo for a meeting with hbm and al the other staff
and then say out right what are you lot doing to my horse? of which i pay for
out laid clear as day your paying for these services and extra servcies and none are being attented to or address which is a breach of your contract

[VAHorseGurl]

Totally agree with Goes! If there is a disconnect like you say, between the HBW and the BO, the 3 of you need to get together and work this out! You are paying a HECK of a lot of money for the proper care of your gelding.

[BumbleBee]

I would normally agree with you, but she said the horses do not get hay in the AM before they are turned out.
This does not bother me that much. The horses go out and graze for their forage.
Seems OK with me.

Now, all the other stuff seems some what weird. Waiting for update from the OP.

We do that in the summer too but her horse isn;t going out with the rest due to quarantine so think he should be getting hay.

[Nicker]

I wouldn't engage in any type of psychological warfare. If you can't seem to work it out or keep having bad feelings, move.

When I referred to my kid, I was specifically talking about a recent parent/teacher conference where I had a "discussion" with my son's teacher about her strange way of doing multiplication. Because of it, she hasn't spoken to my son for three days. :rolleyes: So yeah, if it's just me at risk, my mouth is big, for everything else, I'm now a very cautious person because people can and sometimes will retaliate.

I agree. I would NEVER intentionally piss off someone and then leave them alone with my "kids", two or four legged.

Bottom line is you don't trust the BW, and probably never will. Time to move.

[CHS]

But if you heard my story you probably wouldn't be nervous anymore. LOL
It's that bad. Shoot me an email if you want to hear a story that will make you think yours is no big deal.

I'm most likely bringing my horses/pony back home.

[Long Spot]

I agree with Slc I think it was. It is all about the mentality of the total package. A basic, a la carte barn, no matter how nice the owner is, will never give the same care as a barn specializing in rehab or top quality show horses. It is an overall mentality that focuses on the details. I also whole-heartedly agree that you can not go to a barn hoping to change it or make it what you want. You can try but it will only result in stress and unhappiness. There are probably people that think your current barn is great, but they don't need what you need. I hate to rush to say move, but you are spending a lot of money to be unhappy or constantly stressed, not to mention it sounds like your horse is not getting the specialized care he needs.

You must make this decision for yourself. Treat them as you would want to be treated, with respect and honesty.

Saying never is always a dangerous thing.

I run an "ala carte" barn. We have both top quality show horses and a few rehabs as well as weekend warriors and equines for fun only types. While I'm the trainer and the manager, I am also the person in charge of making sure those extras get done.

Since I have many owners who want to do those extras in their own right, why should I do it for free for those who don't want to do it, can't do it due to work/family conflicts, or for those who aren't educated enough to do it themselves? Something to consider to those who questioned the "extras".

I do it myself because I realise the odds of finding someone competant and trustworthy enough to employ for a wage that I can afford to do handwalking rehab, leg wrapping, wound cleaning/care, meds three times a day etc is slim to none. Since I'm capable and dependable and live on site, it becomes my job. And yes, I charge for it. Because it takes away from the time I could be filling with a $65 lesson or training ride. I have the education and experience to do it. That comes with a price.

We don't however, charge for fly masks, turn out boots, leg washing when coming in from turn out, blanket changes, or odd time feeding requests (OP I dont think your expectation for breakfast for your love is "odd time" request at all BTW).

But making a blanket statement about "ala carte" barns is offensive in my opinion, abby. Some of us bust our asses to give a spectacular quality "product" for the money we charge for it. The word "never" is the issue here that is sticking in my craw.

OP, good luck. You are getting the short end of the stick here. Listen to your gut. And record the daily happenings from here on out as well as what you remember from previous incidents, so you can leave free and clear when you find a suitable place. If you can afford it, I too would recommend a rehab facility. It's the quickest way to find a place that expects and caters to your needs regarding special health related requests. When you are in a better situation health-wise with your horse you can try to find a place that will cater to you and treat you right in your day to day riding and other special needs that may crop up. You are a rarity as a boarder. Involved, level headed, and able to pay your bills. As someone stated, in this economy, those things are hard to find in one package. There is a great barn out there that would looooove to have you. You just need to have time to find it. Move to a proven rehab and give yourself that time.

[VCT]

Saying never is always a dangerous thing.

I run an "ala carte" barn. We have both top quality show horses and a few rehabs as well as weekend warriors and equines for fun only types. While I'm the trainer and the manager, I am also the person in charge of making sure those extras get done.

Since I have many owners who want to do those extras in their own right, why should I do it for free for those who don't want to do it, can't do it due to work/family conflicts, or for those who aren't educated enough to do it themselves? Something to consider to those who questioned the "extras".

I do it myself because I realise the odds of finding someone competant and trustworthy enough to employ for a wage that I can afford to do handwalking rehab, leg wrapping, wound cleaning/care, meds three times a day etc is slim to none. Since I'm capable and dependable and live on site, it becomes my job. And yes, I charge for it. Because it takes away from the time I could be filling with a $65 lesson or training ride. I have the education and experience to do it. That comes with a price.

We don't however, charge for fly masks, turn out boots, leg washing when coming in from turn out, blanket changes, or odd time feeding requests (OP I dont think your expectation for breakfast for your love is "odd time" request at all BTW).

But making a blanket statement about "ala carte" barns is offensive in my opinion, abby. Some of us bust our asses to give a spectacular quality "product" for the money we charge for it. The word "never" is the issue here that is sticking in my craw.

OP, good luck. You are getting the short end of the stick here. Listen to your gut. And record the daily happenings from here on out as well as what you remember from previous incidents, so you can leave free and clear when you find a suitable place. If you can afford it, I too would recommend a rehab facility. It's the quickest way to find a place that expects and caters to your needs regarding special health related requests. When you are in a better situation health-wise with your horse you can try to find a place that will cater to you and treat you right in your day to day riding and other special needs that may crop up. You are a rarity as a boarder. Involved, level headed, and able to pay your bills. As someone stated, in this economy, those things are hard to find in one package. There is a great barn out there that would looooove to have you. You just need to have time to find it. Move to a proven rehab and give yourself that time.

Thanks for saying it! :)

[nervousalter]

This morning I got a phone call from the BO while I was driving to the stable. It poured last night and my gelding's little area got flooded out, so they were moving him into one of their "real" barns with a 12'x24' indoor/outdoor stall. While I had the BO on the phone, I mentioned that the HBW had said my gelding was going to be turned out in a dirt paddock and I would really prefer the grass paddock we'd originally agreed to. He said the HBW's plan "wasn't going to happen" and my gelding would have a grass paddock.

So he now has more cover and better drainage in his stall and his turnout situation is looking good, which is great. Only down side is that 3 of the horses in the barn are feverish, coughing, and have bloody noses. The trainer walked by after he was moved into his new stall and said, "he was safer where he was at." But he couldn't stay in his old area, not with his leg the way it is.

What else...

Yesterday, the HBW told me he'd been walking my gelding every day instead of every other, so I brought money in for him today. Made sure I mentioned it to the BO while all three of us were together this morning. Wasn't comfortable making side deals with the HBW without the BO's knowledge. Gave him $40.

Oh and I found out why the HBW was glaring at me while I held my horse for the farrier: on Friday, before the farrier came, another boarder had offered to sell me his horse. I told him I couldn't afford two horses, he kept pressuring me and I finally said, "maybe I'll think about leasing him until my guy is better." Turns out that the HBW had been riding this other horse and was trying to buy him. While I was being shown the horse, the HBW kept walking by, listening... He was worried that I was going to buy the horse out from under him. That was why I was getting attitude.

Last night, I told the boarder that I wouldn't be leasing the horse and he wound up selling him to the HBW before I got to the barn this morning. HBW was in much better spirits today.

I have been looking around. There was a lay up facility about 35 miles away, but they moved out of state last year. Closest barn I could find (online) that could potentially handle his individual turn out needs is 60 miles away. That's just too far to drive. I'll keep looking.

[abbydp]

Long Spot, I am sorry I offended you. I probably should have been a little more clear. To me, I wouldn't consider you an a la carte barn. Around here, a la carte means charging for fly masks, fly spray, blanketing, anything outside of cleaning stalls once a day (if they are turned out half the day) and feed, hay and water. The people paid to do the extra stuff at the barns I am talking about are also not the most qualified, usually the least expensive. The good barns I am familiar with work like you do and don't consider flymasks, boots, blankets, leg care extra, they consider it neccesary for the upkeep of the horse.
Sounds like I would be very happy boarding with you! So again, sorry if I was offensive. I guess I am also used to most BO's around here not being as involved, and relying on hourly help that in many instances don't care. I ran a big barn, and the employees that did give a crap and would notice and fix a turned fly mask, halter etc were worth their weight in gold. But due to my BO's very small budget, I could never keep them.

[Katy9532]

I have nothing really to add, but I do truly wish you luck in your search.

I know you are posting under and alter, but maybe you could mention where you live and us COTHER's could help you find a new place.

I do want to say one thing, with as much as you are paying in extras, I surprised you feel you have to ask the BO if you can give your horse hay. If you know he had not been feed then I would just feed him myself. (But I have always boarded in smaller barns where it was not an issue.)

[katarine]

therefore, clarifying FACTS helps us avoid telling STORIES about what happened then justifying it.

He was glaring for a decent reason, eh? OP, would you agree?

You don't HAVE to move! at least not yet.

Find out their story, then work with it. there aren't enough barns to support moving every time there's a wrinkle in the cosmos :D:cool:

[chai]

"Only down side is that 3 of the horses in the barn are feverish, coughing, and have bloody noses. "

Nervous alter...they have thrown you from the frying pan into the fire. What's the point of putting your horse in quarantine if they are going to move him into a barn With sick horses? Now your horse has been exposed which makes moving him to another barn a huge risk for the new barn.

I am so sorry you are going through a tough time, and I hope your horse will avoid the illness in the new barn, but my advice is to get out of that barn asap. That's a tough one, though, now that your horse has been exposed to illness which you would have to disclose to any potential new barn. HBW's who give you attitude, no matter what their silly reason, and BO's who don't have control over what's going on in the barn are not worth your hard earned money. Sometimes I think some barns are like Stockholm Syndrome...you don't realize just how horrible it is until you finally break free.

The fact that they would stable your horse in a barn with horses with an upper respiratory illness tells me that they either don't know what they're doing or they don't care. Neither is safe for your horse.

[KayBee]

He was glaring for a decent reason, eh? OP, would you agree?

Don't know that it's a decent reason. If anyone deserved to be glared at (and I do mean if), it would have been the horse's owner for trying to put together another/better deal while still in negotiations with HBW.

Seriously, the OP just arrived at the barn and had no way of knowing that HBW (or anyone else for that matter) had been riding/was planning to buy that horse or any other.

HBW needs to get his/her head out of his/her ass. I can see, perhaps, wanting to still leave if things don't markedly improve within a few weeks (pick a date and if you're not happy by that date, move. Meanwhile, investigate other options.)

[FancyFree]

HBW needs to get his/her head out of his/her ass.

That's for sure! What a big baby. How was the OP, a brand new boarder, suppose to have any clue as to who's buying what. He sounds like a jerk and that is definitely not a decent reason to glare at someone. Maybe if you're a five year old.

If you can't find a place to move OP, I hope you can work it out.

[Long Spot]

I ran a big barn, and the employees that did give a crap and would notice and fix a turned fly mask, halter etc were worth their weight in gold. But due to my BO's very small budget, I could never keep them.

I hear you on that. They deserve to be spoiled and are usually the first to get cut when things get tight. Or someone else snaps them up!

No worries on the offense thing. Twas having "one of those days". And I apologise for coming off as snappish.

[Pippigirl]

Time to employ psychological warfare. :D
Next time grouchy semi-scary person asks, "Are you coming here tomorrow???" grin huge and say, "Yep, yep I am. And the next day and the next and every single day. Hey, I really like you! You're my new best friend...call me every 5 minutes and I'm going to go out and buy us some matching outfits! See you tomorrow, I'll bring recipes so we can start swapping them!" :lol: :lol: :lol:
Believe me...they back off. Many times they either run screaming or break into a grin themselves.
And try to remember this: People can only scare you if *you* allow them to.

OMG that's so funny! :) I wish I knew to say something like that to the b/o at the previous barns I was at!!! That would've been so funny to see the look on their faces!
Although...they were pretty pissed as it was... ;)

[RiddleMeThis]

He was glaring for a decent reason, eh? OP, would you agree?

Nope. Not at all. I think I would be MORE pissed to find out this was the reason.

[trubandloki]

We do that in the summer too but her horse isn;t going out with the rest due to quarantine so think he should be getting hay.


I agree, but the content of what I was commenting on implied that they thought it was never OK for any horse not to have hay for breakfast.