It was a dark and stormy night

[dizzywriter]

when a shot rang out in the stable...

[Pony Person]

...and one of the horses said...



:winkgrin:

[shawneeAcres]

what the h*ll was that....

[dizzywriter]

when all of the sudden, Pat Parelli...

[see u at x]

made a grab for his carrot stick...

[SarahandSam]

...peeled the $50 price tag off of it...

[CharliesMom]

and said, "I need to raise the price on this!" He then proceeded to......

[twofatponies]

break it in half, exclaiming...

[see u at x]

"I'll show those non-Parelli-ites where where to shove this carrot stick for making fun of ME!"

[Pony Person]

"Carrots are OVERRATED!!!"

[supershorty628]

"Wow, I didn't know this was a piñata!"

[Pony Person]

"I'll show those non-Parelli-ites where where to shove this carrot stick for making fun of ME!"

"Carrots are OVERRATED!!!"

"Wow, I didn't know this was a piñata!"
Think we all posted at the same time...:lol: :lol:

[see u at x]

Think we all posted at the same time...:lol: :lol:

hahahahahahaha...as they say, "great minds!" :D

[dizzywriter]

But then, while watching the hilariously coincidental shoving of the broken pinata where necessary, the white trash dressage queen...

[Pony Person]

..said "Keep it down, will ya?? I'm drawing my Dressage letters with crayons, and I need silence!!"

[see u at x]

To which the hunter princess screeched, "You guys are making me mess up my stick art!!!"

[Pony Person]

To which the hunter princess screeched, "You guys are making me mess up my stick art!!!"
Hey- Stop quoting me!!:lol:

[dizzywriter]

So, Parelli gallantly clutched some duct tape...

[see u at x]

Hey- Stop quoting me!!:lol:

:lol: Hey, I can't help it if you're so darned quotable! Oh, goodness...this thread has barely gotten started and I can't stop laughing...

[see u at x]

So, Parelli gallantly clutched some duct tape...

And slithered his way over to the trashy DQ and the hunter princess...

[Pony Person]

And slithered his way over to the trashy DQ and the hunter princess...
When suddenly, Anky walks in and says...

[ASB Stars]

You DO know where Rolkur came from, don't you?"

[Charisma]

"where are my draw reins?"

[PnkPanthr]

"My $300 breeches are gone!!!":eek:

[PnkPanthr]

"where are my draw reins?"

hahahahah charisma i almost wrote the same thing and then erased it!!

[dizzywriter]

And the DQ shoved the HP to ...

[whaat]

her BMW...

[Pony Person]

And the DQ shoved the HP to ...
The maure pit!

[dizzywriter]

her BMW...

and grabbed Parelli's broken carrot, causing Anky to...

[Foxtrot's]

be run away with screaming "Help" and some handsome policemen (on horses) stepped up and grabbed the reins...

[Little Valkyrie]

and said....this carrot stick is illegal in 21 US states.

[see u at x]

The police then started looking for Parelli and his wife, Linda...

[downthecenterlinetheycome]

... Who hid under the alias of "Clearlythebestnaturalhorsemanevertobeseenonthisear th", which was quite easy to....

[Foxtrot's]

...who found them lobbying Congress to change the law so they could sell carrot sticks in 21 states ... But Congress said, "Wait! we will wait for Barack before doing anything".

[see u at x]

The Parellis were so angry that they flung their carrot sticks as far as they could, and nailed Anky in the process...

[downthecenterlinetheycome]

...and rather than waiting the two Parellis started selling them on the blackmarket, and met someone who shouldn't be there, a very suspicious someone by the name of....

[see u at x]

...Sven Jensen....

(I am SO probably going to hell for even joking about that...)

[dizzywriter]

who caught the carrot and said rollkur...

[downthecenterlinetheycome]

... is better than carrot sticks because...

[see u at x]

...you'll never win Olympic gold by shaking a carrot stick at a warmblood...

[dizzywriter]

but you can make lots of money

[spirithorse22]

and make lots of friends too. :winkgrin:

[downthecenterlinetheycome]

...but Parelli responded that he didn't need to win anything to prove that he was the best horse person in the wide world and that anyone who felt they did didn't know a thing, and anyway he would never ride a warmblood, and...

[dizzywriter]

Portia Rossi hugged Ellen and took off for...

[dizzywriter]

( I think that Rossi is her last name but follow celeb gossip only in the checkout line)

[spirithorse22]

Ellen decided that she needed Parelli as an advisor to her show...

[downthecenterlinetheycome]

...he took her up on the offer, but with one important condition, which was that...

[dizzywriter]

Linda has to watch you...

[kellidahorsegirl]

do something with the.............

[seabreeze]

practice your dance every day because...

[spirithorse22]

do something with the.............

carrot sticks before every commercial break, preferably with unruly audience members...

[dizzywriter]

do something with the.............

$50 price tag, which is attached to....

[Pony Person]

$50 price tag, which is attached to....
A stupid piece of string that you can attach to the carrot stick, to make it the carrot lunge whip...

[kellidahorsegirl]

A stupid piece of string that you can attach to the carrot stick, to make it the carrot lunge whip...

but if you replace the TAG with a $50 bill, you can rub value on people and then....

[DeeThbd]

but if you replace the TAG with a $50 bill, you can rub value on people and then....

....they will all buy rope halters so that they can....

[Sail Away]

....they will all buy rope halters so that they can....

lobby the USDF to allow them in GP competitions and to replace the double bridles.

The dressage committee saw Linda riding a GP test with one and......

[twofatponies]

was stunned. At which point Anky leapt up off the floor and said "Yes, that's my new method!"...

[talkofthetown]

"...Maybe thees vill keep Leistergeidelsprundheim from bucking me hoff!"

[PnkPanthr]

but Parelli responded, "Anky, lets not be optimistic"

[dizzywriter]

and she said "you can take these karroten and...

[Stacie]

...you'll never win Olympic gold by shaking a carrot stick at a warmblood...

:lol::lol::lol: OMG I think this may be my new tag-line.......

[tullyleague]

and she said "you can take these karroten and...

.."give them to my good friend, Sarah Stetner, expert horsewoman."

[downthecenterlinetheycome]

..Parelli was in awe of Sarah Stetner's skills and pronounced her amazingly savvy before...

[see u at x]

:lol::lol::lol: OMG I think this may be my new tag-line.......

Stacie, by all means feel free to use it....I would be honored! :lol:

You guys are good...this thread is cracking me up!

[spirithorse22]

..Parelli was in awe of Sarah Stetner's skills and pronounced her amazingly savvy before...

Flagging down the next semi-truck on the highway outside to make a dramatic exit, leaving the dressage crowd speechless...

[twofatponies]

However, to her horror, she discovered the semi was hauling a load of slaughter-bound horses...

[Little Valkyrie]

She Quickly turned to the sorry lot and said "I'm Sarah Stetner, and expert horse rider on behalf of expert village!!!!"

[Sail Away]

She Quickly turned to the sorry lot and said "I'm Sarah Stetner, and expert horse rider on behalf of expert village!!!!"

"Who would like to be my next star"!!! All the horses stared at her and....

[spirithorse22]

However, to her horror, she discovered the semi was hauling a load of slaughter-bound horses...

YES! I was *so* hoping someone would throw that into the mix! Its why I sgugested semi...lol I hope we can get EVERY COTH related 'thing, idea, etc.' on this thread!

So...she/he then said...

"I'm aghasted at the condition of these horses!" And climbing along the top of the semi managed to swing a hand down far enough to tap on the driver's window...

[spirithorse22]

Sailaway, we posted at the same time! Sorry! :lol:

[Sail Away]

Sailaway, we posted at the same time! Sorry! :lol:

No problem!!! That's why I always include quotes! I am really too slow when I write. I always have to re-edit everything. :lol:

[spirithorse22]

No problem!!! That's why I always include quotes! I am really too slow when I write. I always have to re-edit everything. :lol:

How about she asks the driver if he'd like to be the next star in her show? :lol: She can give a riding lesson to those w/ new bought slaughter horses. :p

[talkofthetown]

How about she asks the driver if he'd like to be the next star in her show? :lol: She can give a riding lesson to those w/ new bought slaughter horses. :p


So the truck driver says, "Well shure, ain't you that trick rider lady? I hear you can jump up n' down on yer horse's back!"

[Pony Person]

So the truck driver says, "Well shure, ain't you that trick rider lady? I hear you can jump up n' down on yer horse's back!"
Sarah replied, "Why yes! In fact, I can make my horse run really, really fast! All I have to do is go to the barn and look at him, and he runs!":D

[LearnToFly]

Sarah replied, "Why yes! In fact, I can make my horse run really, really fast! All I have to do is go to the barn and look at him, and he runs!":D

So the truck driver gave her the biggest horse in the trailer. Using her moose ears, Sarah proclaimed it to be 12 hands high.

[twofatponies]

So the truck driver gave her the biggest horse in the trailer. Using her moose ears, Sarah proclaimed it to be 12 hands high.

ROFL! This is so much fun!

[appychick59]

So the truck driver gave her the biggest horse in the trailer. Using her moose ears, Sarah proclaimed it to be 12 hands high.

:cool:But Sarah knew what to do. She popped it 3 times with her magic crop, turning it into a 14.2h super pony, which hid behind the DQ.

[talkofthetown]

:cool:But Sarah knew what to do. She popped it 3 times with her magic crop, turning it into a 14.2h super pony, which hid behind the DQ.

(Are DQ and Anky two different people? Or the same?) :lol:

[see u at x]

(Are DQ and Anky two different people? Or the same?) :lol:

They're two different people. ;)

[dizzywriter]

:cool:But Sarah knew what to do. She popped it 3 times with her magic crop, turning it into a 14.2h super pony, which hid behind the DQ.

Then, the other Sarah's wolf hunting helicopter landed and she emerged in a 150 gazillion dollar suit, took off her rimless eyeglasses and pointed them at the pony's chestnuts. "These thangs are darn good proof that evolution is ...

[achcosuva]

Then, the other Sarah's wolf hunting helicopter landed and she emerged in a 150 gazillion dollar suit, took off her rimless eyeglasses and pointed them at the pony's chestnuts. "These thangs are darn good proof that evolution is ...

... the work of God." And then she pointed to the pregnant belly of the underage pony and said...

[LearnToFly]

... the work of God." And then she pointed to the pregnant belly of the underage pony and said...

"I declare abstinence only education for pony school!"

[BabyGreen]

"I declare abstinence only education for pony school!"

But now that the damage is done, underage pony will marry her boyfriend.....

[Sail Away]

But now that the damage is done, underage pony will marry her boyfriend.....

Where they will be sent off for jumper training to make a better life for themselves. But since they are pintos their career in the hunter ring is......

[see u at x]

Where they will be sent off for jumper training to make a better life for themselves. But since they are pintos their career in the hunter ring is......

...will of course be limited, unless they are mares and are bred to Silvio, the world's best stalyon!

[Trevelyan96]

What I want to know is why hasn't the cop duct taped everyone's mouths shut yet. :eek:

[twofatponies]

What I want to know is why hasn't the cop duct taped everyone's mouths shut yet. :eek:

ROFL!

"Just then three cops burst in (where are we now? still on the highway?? in the truck?), each holding a roll of vet wrap, a jar of Ichthamol, and a syringe of Ace.."

[Little Valkyrie]

HALT they yelled....or not in the case of a certain German dressage rider, you can just jog in place...

[dizzywriter]

"You betch", said the Other Sarah, before the cops taped her mouth shut, shot her full of Ace and...

[Sail Away]

"You betch", said the Other Sarah, before the cops taped her mouth shut, shot her full of Ace and...

shipped her to Amsterdam, Europe. When awoke she was glad she woke up in such a gosh darn big country and could finally meet in person......

[J-Lu]

...out of the blue popped Sjef. "German rider? Don't you know that my wife Anky is DUTCH? You are clearly biased by allowing the GERMANS to jog in place but no one else. I'm suing!" :cool:

[Foxtrot's]

But first I must remove all evidence off the internet and Youtube...

[riverpup]

Meanwhile, back at the

[5]

As the spur twirls...
It was a hot and humid day....
The horses had been fed, their stalls had been raked and there was nothing until bte next feed.
The catches were old, well mainatained but 1940's technology, enough time for the collective equine conciousness to have spread.
The horses were out. one by one until the entire group was out.
As one unit they marched to the feed bin which one of the herd knew held apples and carrots.
Another herd member held a sacred rectangle of plastic which had been used to feed the locomotive which carried them.
At the feed bin the card bearer horse gifted to the feed bin human the plastic only to be challanged.
What is the billing zip code?
The sacred plastic was sacrificed and the herd went home with only what they could graze by the side of the road.
They had retuned from their adventure in time for the afternoon graining.

[dizzywriter]

shipped her to Amsterdam, Europe. When awoke she was glad she woke up in such a gosh darn big country and could finally meet in person......

the president of Africa, until she found out...

[Eventer13]

the president of Africa, until she found out...

...she was in the red light district.

[dizzywriter]

...she was in the red light district.

"My steed, my steed," she shouted, grabbing her whip when suddenly the Dude...

[Wild Oaks Farm]

"My steed, my steed," she shouted, grabbing her whip when suddenly the Dude...

whipped out a bag of peppermints.

[Foxtrot's]

and a whip with a long leather thong...

[LarkspurCO]

...she adjusted her butt-plug, and lit a cigarette.

[kellidahorsegirl]

...she adjusted her butt-plug, and lit a cigarette.

While reminiscing about the good 'ol days of sweet feed made of only oats and getting the spunk out of her dead lame gelding.....Sarah decided it was time to....

[dizzywriter]

go to one of Amsterdam's "special" cafes where she ordered a

[tullyleague]

go to one of Amsterdam's "special" cafes where she ordered a

..weinerschnitzel, heavy on the weiner, light on the schnitzel. She was about to partake of said delight when suddenly,

[dizzywriter]

the cops storm in shouting "this is supposed to be about horses!", so Sarah leaped to her feet and

[twofatponies]

..weinerschnitzel, heavy on the weiner, light on the schnitzel. She was about to partake of said delight when suddenly,

she heard the distinct sound of a horse piaffing outside on the cobblestones.

[dizzywriter]

"Gosh darn it, this Europe sure is a wacky country," she said and walked out to find a Gypsy Vanner farting flowers on...

[Pony Person]

"Gosh darn it, this Europe sure is a wacky country," she said and walked out to find a Gypsy Vanner farting flowers on..."


...little old ladies. Who were not aghasted!:D

Then, suddenly, George Morris shows up and...

[kellidahorsegirl]

YAY GM finally..I hope someone 'gets this'

"Gosh darn it, this Europe sure is a wacky country," she said and walked out to find a Gypsy Vanner farting flowers on..."


...little old ladies. Who were not aghasted!:D

Then, suddenly, George Morris shows up and...

asks if anyone has seen "the...........

[dizzywriter]

thing that I'm known for on COTH (that dizzywriter doesn't know)" Sarah said, "I don't know either. But what the heck did they put in that stuff they gave me to smoke at the cafe?" and climbed onto the Gypsy Vanner.

[spirithorse22]

YAY GM finally..I hope someone 'gets this'



asks if anyone has seen "the...........

Big Pink? :confused:

[Little Valkyrie]

Then Sarah Stetner asks in her usual state of delirium...."what ever is the Big Pink????...is it some sort of new natural horsemanship doodad that will make my horses piaffe on command and me not get left behind over the most miniscule of jumps?"

[Eventer13]

Big Pink? :confused:

You guys are bad ;)

[kellidahorsegirl]

Then Sarah Stetner asks in her usual state of delirium...."what ever is the Big Pink????...is it some sort of new natural horsemanship doodad that will make my horses piaffe on command and me not get left behind over the most miniscule of jumps?"


George Morris in a state of shock (flabberghasted that she doesn't know) rips Sarah Stetner the expert off the Gypsy Vanner and screams ...

[talkofthetown]

George Morris in a state of shock (flabberghasted that she doesn't know) rips Sarah Stetner the expert off the Gypsy Vanner and screams ...

"If you can't produce a proper flying change, get off the majikal horse!"

[spirithorse22]

"If you can't produce a proper flying change, get off the majikal horse!"

Sarah, in a state of utter confusion, decides that the safe route is to relapse into an old lecture on how to measure a horse by hand, and Mr. Morris...

[kellidahorsegirl]

Sarah, in a state of utter confusion, decides that the safe route is to relapse into an old lecture on how to measure a horse by hand, and Mr. Morris...


decides that maybe he should listen to her.....afterall, the internet never has fake 'experts'.

After the lecture, Morris is so excited that....

[J-Lu]

decides that maybe he should listen to her.....afterall, the internet never has fake 'experts'.

After the lecture, Morris is so excited that....

The "big pink" might actually be interchangeable with the Parelli carrot stick and so with his new protege Sarah he...

[downthecenterlinetheycome]

...embarked upon an exciting and dangerous adventure to....

[horse-loverz]

Market it as the George Morris's Big Pink Pursuader (TM). Sarah was upset that she didn't get second billing so she went to look for the other famous trainer Tom Thumb to get a bit named after her.... while looking for the famous Mr Thumb she found.....

[Pony Person]

Market it as the George Morris's Big Pink Pursuader (TM). Sarah was upset that she didn't get second billing so she went to look for the other famous trainer Tom Thumb to get a bit named after her.... while looking for the famous Mr Thumb she found.....
Mr Thumb's thumb on the ground- Apparently, his new bit design did not go over well with his horse.;)

Astonished, the horse "expert" stated.......

[Little Valkyrie]

"I wonder how much I can get for Tom Thumb's thumb on eBay?"

[kellidahorsegirl]

"I wonder how much I can get for Tom Thumb's thumb on eBay?"

So with thought, Sarah put herself to work trying to figure out how to use ebay. When she was just about to pull her last hair out..........

[dizzywriter]

she thought: boy, it was easier to take down all of my expert rider videos on the net after all those meanie COTHers laughed at me

[Rienzi]

Just as she was about to hit the last key on her computer, the lightning cracked nearby, the room went black, and suddenly a shot rang out...!

[kellidahorsegirl]

*gasp* .....George is that you? (sarah whispered).....NO! The voice yelled...its.......

[dizzywriter]

Dick Cheney who came from an undisclosed location riding a...

[Rienzi]

Mammoth Jack and...

[skatepixie]

...BLM mustang that...

[ayrabz]

bucked him off, after while riding in a mounted shooting event he unknowingly grazed one of the judges instead of the target

[Rienzi]

"I'll save you!" says Dick, as he jumps off his Mammoth Jack and gallantly hands the reins to Sarah. "Since my mustang pony is rank, you can ride my..."

[N2Equus]

Mammoth Jack, "Dubbya" Just be careful because sometimes he.....

[Little Valkyrie]

...speaks in a garbled form of English...

[kookicat]

They both rode off into the sunset when a herd of...

[downthecenterlinetheycome]

...disgruntled DQs and Parelli-ites alike, who....

[J-Lu]

disgruntled DQs and *especially* Parelli-ites alike, who....

...Have taken offense that George Morris and the Big Pink Pursuader (TM) might be trying to grab part of their market share of selling overpriced horse training items that can be found in catalogs and red-light districts for MUCH less than the ticketed price....

[dizzywriter]

disgruntled DQs and *especially* Parelli-ites alike, who....

...Have taken offense that George Morris and the Big Pink Pursuader (TM) might be trying to grab part of their market share of selling overpriced horse training items that can be found in catalogs and red-light districts for MUCH less than the ticketed price....

...got back in the car and headed for...

[talkofthetown]

...got back in the car and headed for...

England, to see what the Crayola Posse was up to...

[dizzywriter]

and they found the wicked witch of the cheese hosing down...

[SEPowell]

the Big Pink Persuader which shrank to the size of a thumb. Suddenly

[redears]

the Big Pink Persuader which shrank to the size of a thumb. Suddenly

...Mr Thumb appeared out of the...

[kookicat]

and they found the wicked witch of the cheese hosing down...

the evil love child of GM and SS....


:lol::lol::lol:

[Whoop Di Doo]

...Mr Thumb appeared out of the...

a trailer headed to pony finals....

[Whoop Di Doo]

*bump

[talkofthetown]

a trailer headed to pony finals....

Carrying a small, headstrong pony, shared by two children and their parents, Parent A and Parent B....

[kellidahorsegirl]

Headstrong pony was unruley for the children, so Parents A&B sent the pony to 18 year old Shamature....

[horse-loverz]

With a barn painted like a box of crayons.....

[Little Valkyrie]

....and she snapped her bubblegum and said....

[andy825]

..."If you give me a month and $1200.00, I can teach this pony to stand still while you fly spray him. But only...."

[horse-loverz]

on Tuesdays..... For and extra $1000 I can train it to...

[Little Valkyrie]

...jump 2ft, which is the next class being added to the Olympics, so thats where Suzi Snowflake is headed...

[horse-loverz]

once she is out of the hospital from her crossrails trip... Parent B then said.....

[Little Valkyrie]

You need to fall off if your going to ride!, parent A on the other hand.....

[dizzywriter]

bellowed: you are irreparably damaging my child! I am going to

[horse-loverz]

move my pony somewhere else.....but wait I don't have a contract so I'll just have to.......

[Arathita]

split the pony in half! Sort of like some story I heard as a child. your daugher can fall off of one half, and with my half, my child will...

[the.mane.affair]

enter the highly competitive, two-legged barrel racing finals...

[dizzywriter]

where the top prize is a night out with Pat Parelli

[zagafi]

and an autographed carrot stick you can use to...

[kookicat]

glue the pony back together again. Parent B said...

[dizzywriter]

but first my half of the pony must win the two-legged championship, so that we can get the majik carrot. Quick, we need to....

[kookicat]

Load half-a-pony onto the crayon bus and take him to the crayon trainer, who...

[dizzywriter]

exclaims: I will train this half pony to half pass in half the time as

[Little Valkyrie]

...Stephan Peters (or any other, erm, nicknames you may call him)...

[kellidahorsegirl]

because I posses the magic duct tape carrot stick that...

[dizzywriter]

may look like an orange crayon but

[kellidahorsegirl]

it really ACTS like a purple crayon that....

[kookicat]

Scares naughty kids away from your pasture. After dropping a....

[zagafi]

bag of flaming poo at Pat Parelli's doorstep...

[kellidahorsegirl]

the shammi continues on to train half-a pony to.....

[skatepixie]

walk on his forelegs only because...

[gdolapp]

intranet cost per month $ 20.00

bottle of pepsi $ 1.35

Windex $1.99

Carrot stick $50.00


Wiping pepsi off computer screen while reading this thread

************Priceless***************

[dizzywriter]

walk on his forelegs only because...

half-a-ponies only half pass in front

[Tilly]

of buses, small children, and angry owners, who have a tendency . . .

[Little Valkyrie]

To get red in the face and scream endlessly at eachother...

[marshall]

then ask for advice on...

[dizzywriter]

face creams, but when told what to do

[Little Valkyrie]

Said (insert whiney voice)"Thats not what Sarah Stetner, in collaboration with the Crayola Trainer, told me to do"

[zagafi]

And if Sarah Stetner said it we know it to be...

[Tilly]

completely, undeniably true!

[zagafi]

Because Sarah Stetner, the "expert horse rider" always...

[dizzywriter]

Because Sarah Stetner, the "expert horse rider" always...

knows how to completely erase her presence from the internet (which is actually a pretty neat trick) when applying for the Horse-Expert-in-Chief job at

[selah]

...the BLM.

[zagafi]

Which in the case of Ms. Stetner stands for "Big Lying Moron". After being rejected by the real BLM, she decided to...

[J-Lu]

go back to training, and teach the other half of the half-pony how to half pirouette (because anyone only cares about the size of the circle made by the hind legs) because she only has to tell half-truths about horses who are half-the height of others (i.e. the 12 hand horse, as measured by Sara herself...I guess so this would be the 5-hand pony).

[ManyDogs]

Sooo SS cries "but it is a HALF-flinger!!!!" Which brings up notions of flinging......

[dizzywriter]

the carrot crayon at the half-flinger, causing it to break apart into quarter-horses. Using her superior expert measuring device, Sarah proclaims: This quarter horse is 3 hands high, just right for

[Tilly]

any adult over the height of 6', or a small evil child. However, when training the majically broken into quarters horses, you must

[dizzywriter]

bear in mind that each quarters-horse has only one leg, so you must ride it like

[Tilly]

a pogo stick, which is not as

[dizzywriter]

hard as it looks because

[Little Valkyrie]

you have no shoulders, haunches, or anything else to control!

[jeano]

Meanwhile, back in Ocala, Linda Parelli and George Morris were plotting to put Pat on a diet when the Womanly Sized Riders burst in, yelling...

[horse-loverz]

does the Big Pink Persuader (TM) come in plus size?

[jeano]

...prompting GM to have an apoplectic fit and cry, "NO One who cant drape their boyish hips around the oh-so-petite BPP(TM) Has Any Business Riding A Horse!"

Enraged, the WSRs surrounded GM and....

[zagafi]

ate his scrawny ass for lunch, followed by...

[selah]

...zero calorie fruit bat flambe', and a symphony of....

[Rienzi]

the Allelulia chorus, lead by...

[Ratherberidin]

...Anky on a dromedary, who then....

[zagafi]

executed a series of flying lead changes while...

[selah]

executed a series of flying lead changes while...

...Rollkur-ing the humps right out of his back![it's Anky fer pete's sakes...what else could I do?!?!]
And speaking of humps...

[zagafi]

did someone mention Doug Spink?

[dizzywriter]

We'll eat HIM for dinner, the WSRs shouted in unison, after we post the 123,456th entry on our thread and

[J-Lu]

then we'll have a small helping of low-fat drama llama before we...

[dizzywriter]

go shopping for the perfectly sized

[selah]

...big pink George Morris thingy. We'll begin our search...

[zagafi]

on Black Friday, along with all the other shopping lunatics who...

[SmallHerd]

shopped for the BPP (TM), which was all the rage across the country. Meanwhile, the cops were gathering evidence all over the world. They found remains of the broken carrot stick, Pat eating out of garbage cans, Sarah blubbering near the English Channel, and saw visions of the small thin man barking orders at them! They decided to

[selah]

:lol:

[zagafi]

take the easy way out and order online. Little did they know the only place one can actually buy the BPP is...

[talkofthetown]

...expertvillage.com

[zagafi]

where literally ANYONE can be an expert! For example, I'm an expert...

[dizzywriter]

on Russia because I can see Alaska on a map. I'm also an expert

[zagafi]

dust bunny sculptor, which requires an education in...

[dizzywriter]

flotsam and jetsum, including courses on

[selah]

...knit one, pearl two, using yarn spun from COTH threads. This knowledge is particularly useful in creating cozies for...

[dizzywriter]

keeping popcorn warm during train wrecks. Meanwhile, the international police investigation stumbles upon evidence of

[talkofthetown]

backyard breeders, and immediately went to inform Fugly

[dizzywriter]

who is the chief witness in the case of

[Little Valkyrie]

The Crimminally Inane

[dizzywriter]

suspected in running a global crime syndicate for the production of counterfeit carrots that can only be distinguished from the genuine Parelli article by

[talkofthetown]

a big leather name tag with "parelli" stamped into it, automatically raising the price...

[Percheron X]

And such as it was that the counterfeit parelli carrots propagated the markets and drove down the cost of all carrots. The carrot market crashed and all the carrot traders gnawed on their carrots from all the unpredictability wrought because of the counterfeit carrots.

Bob the carrot king by decree exclaimed it was not the fault of carrot speculators to the dismay of all the carrot congress who promptly passed a 700 billon carrot bailout bill because all of the carrots were frozen, or so they said, and such as it was, or was it....

[dizzywriter]

really the carrot rapture, and all the carrots were transported into budgetary heaven promising that their next generation would produce carrots, prominently marked with real TMs of end day carrots, which have the number 700 billion to mark them as saved. So the cops decided that

[SmallHerd]

No charges would be filed against the carrots, but were still building their case against . . .

[zagafi]

the makers of the Kohlrabi Stick, which the Parelli's claimed was a trademark infringement. Which is really absurd because everyone knows that kohlrabi and carrots are two very different vegetables. Plus, horses prefer the Kohlrabi Stick because...

[selah]

...the Parellis, as they discovered that it was their own propagation of counterfeit carrots that brought about the 700 billion "rapture". Furthermore, upon deeper investigation, the involvement of another Pat came to light...Pat Robertson of THE 700 CLUB!!! :eek: Who is whose evil twin, I ask!? And is it a sinister "you must be born again" plot that has dear Anky spinning on reining horses...

[SmallHerd]

for fear of retribution! She hopes that reining will keep her far far away from the Kohlrabi Stick Brigade (The KSB), particularly if she stays in Europe. She knows that Pat P. is down and out (eating out of dumpsters in the US) but is worried about Linda, who heads up the KSB and has gathered up the yarn spun from COTH threads and is knitting herself a nice muffler on her way to Russia. The rest of the KSB is . . .

[zagafi]

producing a series of DVDs to help hapless new horse owners understand the majikal bond they will have with their equine pals if they only invest...

[selah]

...in expertvillage.com, where Sarah Stetner is working on yet another educational video on "How To Clean Your Horse's Sheath Using...

[zagafi]

Brillo pads and yellow mustard because in Sarah's world...

[SmallHerd]

Brillo pads are the ONLY way to get all of the crud taken care of. Unfortunately, she tried to attach the Brillo pad to the Kohlrabi stick (since the carrots were confiscated), and . . .

[dizzywriter]

Vicks Vapo-Rub and

[SmallHerd]

as she started the process, the horse screamed and panicked (wouldn't you if someone had a Brillo pad full of Vicks Vapo Rub and Mustard and was getting close to your 'you know what'??) broke free and took off in the dark, kicking Sarah in the head. She fell to the ground and thought . . .

[zagafi]

maybe ketchup was a better idea?

[talkofthetown]

Meanwhile, poor Rowdy galloped along through the woods, until he ran into a big white unicorn, named Charlie.....

[selah]

Chaaaarrrlieeee!!! C'mon Charlie...lets

[SmallHerd]

find George! I'm sure he's around here somewhere. Geeeoooorrrrrrgiiiiieeeeee!!!! Where are you? At that moment . . .

[Little Valkyrie]

an ungroomed horse with a sloppy rider who posses no ability to perform the automatic release gallops right past George and he...

[dizzywriter]

vomits (I'm actually clueless about George Morris)...

[SmallHerd]

because was so aghasted with the entire picture!! The rider's back was roached, the horse not braided, and her tack was dirty!! After vomiting, George called . . . .

[Iron Horse Farm]

because was so aghasted with the entire picture!! The rider's back was roached, the horse not braided, and her tack was dirty!! After vomiting, George called . . . .


Fugly Horse to see if this talentless rider could be confiscated and returned to the land of Turquoise saddles and Oompa-Loompa pants.

However, when Fugly arrived, she ...........

[zagafi]

realized that Turquoise saddles and Oompa-Loompa pants make for excellent blog entries! Plus, the horse was such a conformational trainwreck it could have been mistaken for a...

[dizzywriter]

quartered horse. Undeterred, she

[Iron Horse Farm]

......threw Mr Morris into the driver's seat of The Gelding Bus and set the GPS for......

[Percheron X]

her quartered horse's quarters, where Incidentally she also kept her jar of quarters, sitting counting her quarters helped to quite her conformationally challenged quartered horse. The phone rang at a quarter to four as she dropped her jar of quarters to the floor. It was her cousin Quin from Queens, calling to say the weather here is not like May but cold and wintery and she wishes for June and dreams of soon visiting uncle harry in kalamazoo. But as the last quarter rolled to a stop the door flung open, it was Hillary Duff......

[BigDreams07]

...accompanied by her sister Haylie who...

[Percheron X]

just returned from kalamazoo. We're here to take the two of you to kalamazoo where uncle harry is waiting for you, said Hillary Duff and Haylie too....

[Iron Horse Farm]

just returned from kalamazoo. We're here to take the two of you to kalamazoo where uncle harry is waiting for you, said Hillary Duff and Haylie too....


Haylie of course, carried the Emasculators so that she could..............

[dizzywriter]

geld along the way, but her plans were interrupted by

[SmallHerd]

George screaming, "You have no idea what you are doing! You should just go home and think about yourself. Who do you think you are?? How dare you come to my ring unprepared. Are you kidding me?? I'm not going to waste my time!!" With that, he snatched the emasculators from Haylie and stormed off to . . .