Need a shoulder....crying on my keyboard... Lame after 1st hunt. HAPPY UPDATE Post 17

[CFiona]

Hello all,

As the title suggests, I need a shoulder to cry on, and I'm hoping there are some late night COTHers out there....

As some of you may know I went on my first fox-hunt Nov 18th for which I borrowed my friends' daughter pony. I have a lo-o-o-ong (and positive) relationship with this Mom & daughter, I rode and showed the pony for them in 2006 while he was green and daughter was still in walk-trot. Daughter is now 9 and doing quite well, weekly lessons, clinics, regular show season on SS. Pony had hill-topped with daughter a month ago, and when they heard there was another hunt they offered him to me.

And of course, he showed up lame a few days after. =(

The Mom waited a few days before calling the vet hoping it was just muscle soreness after such a long & exhausting ride, but he was x-rayed today, and apparently a flexor tendon below the fetlock showed up on the x-ray (?). They are ultra-sounding next week. Mom asked the vet if it was curable, and his response was "cautiously optimistic" and predicited he would be out for "months". =( I'm completely devistated and feel so, so horrible.

I live 2 hours away so I can't help out with the hand-walking, and I am not in a financial situation to pay his vet bills, pay board, pay for them to lease another pony, so now the daughter is pony-less.

Oh yeah, background on me. Put my first horse down when I was 16, my 2nd when I was 20. I have joked that I will never own again - only lease - because I am bad luck. I'm starting to feel like I'm bad luck around ALL horses!!! =(

Anyways, that's the story. Any advice? Mom has said everything nice that she can - its not my fault, these things happen, he could have done it in a lesson or at a show, its a risk of horse ownership, but I just wish there was something I could do. Even if I can't afford to pay the vet bill completely, is it weird to send money to try to pay a little bit? Is there anything I can do to make the guilt go away?

[arena run]

Oh man... that is some BAAAAAD luck for sure.

Here's a shoulder --- it's about all I can do.


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



It is inevitable though -- borrow something, return it broken. :( Arg. Mom's right though, this could have happened earlier and the hunting trip just exacerbated it, but didn't 'cause' it. Don't give up hope. There might be some horribly accident-prone horsie out there and your karma and his karma just might unkarma-out! :D


<<<<<<<<<<more hugs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

sylvia

[Nikki17]

I am really sorry to hear that. Just some advice...live and learn, I would not borrow anyone's horse to fox hunt with. In any dicipline, event, etc, there is always a chance that the horse could get injured. That's a big responsibility to put on your shoulders in my opinion.

[kookicat]

Aw, that sucks :( Sorry you're having such rough luck and jingels!!!

[wateryglen]

It's not uncommon for bowed tendons to happen in unconditioned horses. And when I say unconditioned; I mean it's likely the pony was not conditioned for hunting specifically. It takes months to do this. 6 months minimum. And it has to be as close to actual hunting as can be achieved.

Chalk this up to lessons learned and ease up on yourself!! It's not totally your fault. The owner should have known the pony wasnt hunting fit and was at risk. It could've been a genuine mis step or accident. It coulda been a deep spot. Coulda been his hoof angles/shoeing/conformation. Wrenching a tendon can happen anytime/anywhere but it's more likely to happen in trappy footing on a poorly conditioned tendon or ligament. So some research on conditioning tendons & ligaments please and you'll see that horses get muscle & wind fit faster than their tendons/ligaments do. Taking a ring fit horse out hunting is risky for their legs/feet.

Over 30 yrs of hunting; I've seen this many times. That's why we recommend green/unfit/first time horses go in early. It depends on the pace of the hunt too. When a horse is running on adrenalin; he doesn't feel pain. Just like track tb's.

The good news! He will likely recover fully and be fully rideable again but the length of time and quality of the rehab is crucial. Most take months & months. The ultrasound is definitive. Offer to just pay for that maybe. Offer to help when you can. Be open with the owner. It IS partially THEIR fault too! Talk to the vet to get a clear picture too. You don't know if the owner is "filtering" her info or doesn't understand what was said. Offer to joint lease a horse for you and the child!

In the meantime, keep hunting! Rent a horse. Go car following to learn the country and still see/experience hunting! Get a social membership in the hunt so you can meet people and have fun!

[Tiger Horse]

sounds like a tough situation. If you can't afford to help with the vet bill (it sounds like you would have liked to) perhaps you can arrange to drive out spend the day and volunteer to do the hand-walking that particular day?

Jingles for a quick recovery.

[Evalee Hunter]

. . . . he showed up lame a few days after . . . .

If that is accurate (not lame until a FEW DAYS AFTER the hunt) then I wouldn't think it even happened on the hunt. We had a mare bow a tendon eventing at prelim and, although she seemed sound on course, as soon as she was pulled up, she was obviously lame. She sure didn't wait a few days, or even a few hours, to let us know.

[Lucassb]

I am sorry, what a sucky situation.

I think you have to at least offer to help with the expenses - wouldn't you want someone to do that for you if the situation was reversed? If you don't have the cash on hand, you can usually give vets a credit card, and pay it off over time. Or see if they offer care credit, which is specifically designed to provide a payment plan for veterinary expenses.

[CFiona]

Thanks all.

arrange to drive out spend the day and volunteer to do the hand-walking that particular day?
Definatley doing that. I am 2 hours away, but I am headed up this weekend for sure.

I mean it's likely the pony was not conditioned for hunting specifically?
Yes, we've all realized that. It was my 1st hunt and I was so nervous/anxious I looked to others for direction/advice and didn't have my wits about me. I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I would have asked to go in early. I wish so many things about that day were different. Stupid Hindsight.

Evalee Hunter Well, there is another little twist I sort of left out. The hunt was on Saturday and the owner & daughter didn't go out to the barn til Wednesday. I went home the same day as the hunt (Saturday) because I live 2 hours away. I now wish I would have stayed in town the whole weekend so I could have gone out there Sunday to check on the pony. AGAIN, stupid hindsight.

Fourh mom THANK YOU!! You were the 1st to reply and I needed that hug B-A-D!

I think you have to at least offer to help with the expenses
I offered to pay for the first vet call out, and Mom always is so kind to me and says I don't have to, but I still want to. I really can't afford much - is it tacky to send a check for $50 and an "I'm sorry" note? I don't want the amount to be so small its offenseive.


I'm really still quite shooken up about this whole thing. I can't even ride anymore. I hate being at the barn.

[Dooner]

If your budget is $50, then perhaps a gift designed to make the recuperation period more pleasant for everyone?

Im in the same "bad horse luck" club, but I've never been comfortable leasing/borrowing a horse that is a pet to its owner. I just spend all of my time worrying that I'm going to break someone else's buddy. My preferred option is to find a school horse to lease or half lease. Then I feel like the special attention I give the creature ofsets its now-increased chance of injury.

[2 tbs]

Is there a way to arrange for a couple lessons on another horse for the daughter? If your budget is around $50 maybe the trainer would work in 2 lessons for that price? If you could afford a little each month maybe you could offer to pay for one lesson a month or something like that. That way the little girl gets to ride and some of the expense is on you.

Things happen. That's totally for sure. Don't take the blame on yourself. If the pony wasn't ready for the hunt they should not have let him go. But, we all live and learn. Thing is, there are so many factors that could play into how this happened-nothing can point directly to you riding or the fact that you rode on the hunt vs in the ring or something.

Try to let go of the guilt. It's hard. But try. :)

Jingles for a better outcome than expected after the ultra sound!!

[In The Gate]

(((HUGS))) I had a lesson horse bow a tendon while I was riding at a show her last week, so I know how it feels. I know it wasn't my *fault* because nothing went wrong during our class but that really doesn't make me feel any better about it. I felt terribly for the horse, and for the other rider who was also supposed to be showing her because she didn't get to ride at all (she hurt herself in the first class of the week long show). We won't know how much damage has been done until after she has an ultrasound, so right now she's wrapped and on stall rest.

[CFiona]

Thanks 2 tbs - I really apprecaite the post. I'm hoping that the saying "time heals all wounds" is true cause I've teared up about 4 times today alone! I'm trying to let go of the guilt, but it's REALLY hard. I just realized never really dealt with guilt before, and p.s. It sucks!


I DID find out today there is another pony the daughter can ride - phew!! I don't own, don't pay board or train, so don't really have have much to offer (of ways to cut back financiallu) but I might save up little by little, and then send a check every month or two....? What do you think about a condolences card?

[twofatponies]

I haven't been in your situation, but I understand how you feel - I've always felt guilty when my OWN horse comes up lame - thinking it must have been something I did, even if it wasn't. I get really bummed and beat myself up for days. So a big hug to you!

I think short term the appropriate thing would be to send a gift (such as a gift basket with chocolates and horse treats in it), which would have been a nice thank you even if the pony hadn't come up lame. With a card that is not too grovelly, but humble, such as "I can't thank you enough for the loan of your pony. He was a brave and delightful mount, and I am sorry to hear that he has been injured. I wish him a speedy recovery, and would be happy to offer my time to help care for him during his recuperation."

Longer term it would be nice if you could contribute a good chunk towards the vet bills, even if you have to put it on credit. If that is truly out of reach, then offering to groom and handwalk him weekly (or what is feasible, given your distance/work situation) for a month or two would be a nice offer, I think.

[CFiona]

I've always felt guilty when my OWN horse comes up lame.

ME TOO!!!!! Oh my gosh, I didn't even think about that. I haven't owned a horse in SO long, that I've forgotten I do that. Wow. An epiphany - I'd do this even if I owned him.

As for the gift - I was planning on doing that anyways. I even have the card sitting on my desk at work, already written in. But now every time I look at it I tear up because it's a happy, funny, cheery Thank you Card, and now seems unappropriate. I'll go shopping for a new one tomrrow.

I have to say HUUUUGE thank you to COTH. I'm so grateful to have this board as a safe place to go to for these issues. Thanks.

[Bogie]

A condolence card and a contribution to the vet bill would be what I would do.

I helped someone out last year with a horse that needed a fair amount of vet care and one of her previous owners offered to give what she could. It was only $25, but I know that was what she could spare.

[CFiona]

First of all I want to say again THANK YOU to everyone on these boards for their hugs and support. It is so nice to be able to come here for and be among Friends! I don't post often, but I read a lot and really love this place!

So - an update! After 4 months of stall rest and very limited turnout, Pony seemed to be doing OK. He was getting turned out for a few hours here and there, and would be a little sore or off after playing, but seemed to be recouping and recovering.

Then - the best part - Mom found a lease for her daughter and at the same time found a place to turnout the not-so-lame Pony. So since April 1st he has been living the high life in a pasture in my neighborhood! He has all day turnout on beautiful grass and gets to flirt with two mares next door. As Mom now lives 2 hours away, I go out there a few days a week and groom him, give him kisses, take pictures and report back. The first week I was so nervous that he would over-do it playing and go lame again.....literally I would drive down the driveway with my eyes closed and my heart racing....and when I opened them he was cute and happy as can be trotting TOTALLY sound. I've even seen him buck and play and canter when the girls are ignoring him, and the next day he is ALWAYS sound. It makes me HAPPY!!!

Long term we still don't know. Pony will likely go home in September (after the lease is up) and get back into a program, hopefully staying sound when they start introducing more work, lead changes, jumping, etc. We are not out of the woods yet, but it seriously warms my heart knowing that he isn't totally broken and even if he can't jump
or have his old job back, that maybe he could be a dressage pony or something.

Again, thanks for your words of encouragement!

[Lori]

I am glad the pony is on the mend!!!
You are not bad luck. All horses are accidents waiting to happen. My POA will find the dangerous area in the safest pasture. :( He seems determined to self destruct. LOL