Frustrated....Once-a-weekers

[Czar]

I will start by saying that I in no way wish to offend those who ride once a week...rather, I would like to understand what you are looking for in a lesson and what you expect from your riding...and instructor.

I teach my barn's once-a-weekers....I have about 25 students ranging in experience from just starting to jumping little courses. I took a 3 year hiatus from teaching to concentrate on my own riding and now I am in the position to teach AND ride.

However, I feel the frustration mounting of having to teach once-a-weekers.

The biggest problem is (so my mother tells me...she teaches the show kids) is that I want to make them all Olympians. Well not really, but I am a stickler for the "proper" way and it drives me crazy to see kids riding around with their legs stuck straight out in front of them, or standing up instead of closing their hip angle over a jump, or cantering around the corner on the wrong lead. But....how can a rider really have the strength or feel to do it right when they practice one hour a week?

I've been told by older instructors who have been doing it for years that I need to care less b/c the typical once-a-weeker does not actually want to improve...they just want to spend an enjoyable hour once a week riding around on a safe mount. True?

I try to be a fair instructor...I understand that encouragement is key but I also find that sometimes, actually raising my voice about something produces the best results? I can say nicely "Make sure Dobbin doesn't go around the corner on the wrong lead" 50 times but when I finally say "I do NOT want to see you go around the corner on the wrong lead AGAIN!" that's what usually gets the results :confused: It seems if I am too easy (all kids under the age of 17...adults are different) than the kids don't try hard enough.

Lastly, those of you who ride once a week....how far do you expect to go in your riding?

I try not to bore my students with the same thing over and over again but I feel they get to a certain point where, if they want to move to the next level, they need to commit to something more than just once a week. The next level is basically anything over 2'9" - I don't want my school horses being guinea pigs for kids that don't have the strength to ride properly. Is this fair?

Perspective and advice welcome!

[JumperFun]

I think keeping the once-a-weekers to 2'9" is actually being generous. I never let mine go above 2'3". They just don't have the understanding/feel for pace, balance, track etc.

If they are doing things that might actually HURT the horse (standing straight up over jumps, hitting horse in mouth, posting on the cantle, etc) then I would make them move down a level until they master the basics enough to do those things well. The horse should not get punished for being a kind soul and letting beginners learn on them.

You might also have each of your students list what their short and long term goals are. Then you could tailor the lessons to that and either push them a little harder or just let them have their once-a-week fun time (without hurting Dobbin of course.)

[Jersey Fresh]

I think you need to treat each student as an individual. THere are a lot of kids/adults that just love horses and riding and will only be pleasure riders. For them, just "care less" I think-teach them enough to be safe and keep them interested but don't expect them to ride like Big Eq kids. They may never care if they jump bigger than than 2'6"

Then there are the kids that are in a similar situation as I was as a kid. It was a huge deal for my parents to let me ride at all and so I was greatful to be able to have a lesson ONCE a week. It wasn't my choice and you could have begged my parents (who had more than enough money to buy me a nice horse and let me show) until you were blue in the face to let me lesson more and they never would let me. But I loved it so much that those few hours a week were precious to me and I worked my butt off to improve each week. Of course I was majorly held back by the fact that I lacked saddle time. I would have improved much faster if I was riding more often, but even when my trainer offered me horses to hack on other days they wouldn't let me. So please don't give up on these riders. In time they may be able to ride more (as I did once I went to college and could work off lessons) or if you see the potential/desire in some of your once-a-weekers see if you can find rides for them so they have more saddle time.

Of course you have the students that want to be the next big deal who only lesson once a week and then its time to talk to them or the parents to explain that to really progress in riding they need to lesson or ride more than once a week.

[maxiford812]

Back in my lesson days, once a week was all my parents could afford. Maybe this is a different kind of barn than the one where I rode? I would have lived there if I could have, but was happy for my once-a-week lesson. I wasn't aiming for the Olympics, but did learn the right was to do things, and those lessons opened the door to a wonderful lifelong association with horses.

[jn4jenny]

Firstly, as a college-level teacher, I really do think what they say about the Millennial generation is true. I find that if I make my expectations clear with them and let them face the real and serious consequences when they don't meet those expectations, they suddenly step up to the plate and show me that they're every bit as bright and "with it" as I knew they could be. But if you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

That said, I was a once-a-weeker as a kid for similar reasons to what Jersey Fresh expressed. At my kid/teenage lesson factory barn, the consequence for not doing it right was being forced to do it the harder way--without stirrups, without reins, to prove that you could do it at a lower gait, to play "Simon Says" until only the top two or three students who had the most control of their animals were allowed to try the harder exercises of the day, to be forced to dismount and stand for 10 minutes if you were caught cutting corners more than twice, to have your jumping position tested with egg-on-spoon endurance races (and yes, you were still expected to ride into the corners), etc. They used a lot of games to weed out the serious from the half-assers: Red Light Green Light, Simon Says, egg on spoon races, etc. And you know what? Now that I'm older and have my own horse, I find I'm much more meticulous about my riding--I WANT to do it right, and I employ a lot of those same strategies to GET it right. I'm grateful that they instilled that "if you can't do it right then you are just wasting time" ethic into me even early on.

I also think the older instructors you've spoken to are right. Many of the girls I rode with as a kid/teen just wanted to have a good time. A few of us wanted to learn how to really ride, even if it was hard. If you can possibly separate those two groups, do it. I know that at the Lesson Factory, they did it with "theory days"--every 9 lessons, your instructor was permitted to conduct a ground lesson about horse care knowledge. The girls who were serious about horses would pay attention and answer questions correctly. Everyone else would screw off. Over time, the people who were paying attention got placed in their own separate riding classes with other serious folks.

[SarahandSam]

I agree with Jersey Fresh; it's more of an individualized thing. I think there are a lot of kids who do it as a hobby, like soccer or ballet. They may fantasize a bit about being a ballerina, but they're not going to put their lives on hold for it; riding is fun, they love horses, but they're not as focused on a particular goal with their riding.

Then there are the ones who can't afford more than once a week. I can't afford more than one lesson per week, and only get out to ride my own horse once a week on average during the school year. I want to improve; I listen carefully and try hard during my lessons to make every moment count, I work hard with my own horse, and I sit around on my stupid balance ball or do stretches on the living room floor to keep marginally in shape. I would love to be like the rich teenagers at my barn who go to Florida to show and have lessons all the time, but I'm an adult with a slowly weakening body and a full-time job and never enough money. Doesn't mean I don't want to improve, just means that I have to make each lesson count for five or six, and if I can't do that I have to just try to become the best horsewoman I can be with my limitations.

Maybe see if you can differentiate between the two groups... set up lessons with once-a-week riders that have similar goals. The ones who want to improve but don't have the money or time, maybe you can help them find exercises, a little extra riding time, different challenges to keep them working...

[Beau Cheval]

Start out by asking what they hope to achieve, and gently putting in perspective what they will be able to achieve continuing on their once-a-week path. Explain that riding is a complex and dangerous sport, but also watch how each individual rides. Pretend they aren't "once-a-weekers" and see what you think of them. If the problem is money, perhaps giving them an opportunity to ride more than once a week through barn work etc. would be extremely beneficial. Either way, just work on your students issues as they come up. And I am the kind of teacher (in general for other things, not just riding) who feels that sometimes a stronger response to a issue "I need you to do THIS NOW." is better, however you must have a good relationship on the ground in order for this to be productive. You don't want them to think that you are angry with them on a personal level. I take things personally, so a really good relationship with my trainer on the ground, and when I am doing the right things on horseback, is extremely important. I also want to improve a lot, so I get frustrated when mistakes are ignored, and I often ask "but aren't i doing this wrong? What do i need to improve to achieve X? How can I improve X?" And I also tend to get annoyed when others aren't as overly-passionate I am. Haha. I spent a long time as a once-a-weeker, and now because of where I live and my school I am a 2-3x a weeker, but I am lucky enough to own a horse. I have actually been able to improve a lot, and I am extremely happy. I have surpassed my goals of when I was younger, and now aspire to a higher level. I have been told continuously that I will not be able to achieve said level with the amount of time I ride, but I've gotten pretty close so that is super exciting. :) So my advice is take it case by case, and NEVER compromise the safety of horse or rider by allowing a rider to do something they are not ready or competent enough to do. Worst thing you could possibly do. If anyone is in a rush, riding is not for them.

[JenEM]

I had once weekly lessons for the first six years I rode. It certainly wasn't a matter of not wanting to be a good rider; it was a matter of doing what my parents, and later myself as a working teenager, could afford. I never dreamed of the Olympics, but sure would have loved a horse to do the Children's on :)

Much of it, too, may be that they just don't realize the difference in progression, feel, and skill that comes with getting to ride more. I certainly didn't--how could I?--until I had the opportunity to start riding more. It shouldn't be hard to tell the kids who really love it, and want to be good little riders but can't afford more, from the kids who are just going through the motions because Mommy wants them to learn to ride a pony, or it's "cool."

[KlawPaws]

I started riding as an adult. At the time I had all the time in the world but money was scarce. One lesson per week was all I could afford. Gosh I wanted to take more lessons but it wasn't in the cards. I would spend all week looking forward to my lesson. Did I make large steps forward with my riding...no. I did have a lot of fun though and it was the bright spot of my week. I once had to complain to the barn owner that the lessons were not challenging enough. The next lessons were more challenging both mentally & physically (which I loved). However I also saw a marked difference between how the "show people" were treated compared to the "recreational people". It was tough to put up with...the same amount of money resulted in different levels of attention/instruction. I, along with other paying clients (both adults and children), were treated in a less professional manner.

After about a year or so I finally got to splurge on two lessons per week. I saw almost immediate improvement in my riding.

Years later I am totally involved with horses...my life revolves around it. I still give a lot of credit for my passion to my first riding instructor.

[citydog]

During the brief period where I was a once-a-weeker (had been out of horses for 7+ years and returned via once a week lessons), I bloody well wanted to be correct. Yes, it was great to have "saddle time" of any sort, but only riding periodially was no excuse to ride poorly.

As an instructor, I tell folks that one of the upsides to only being able to ride only in lessons is that they don't ever have time to practice bad habits. :winkgrin: I think that finding out what is important to the student is key, as you can then spin correct riding to fit their goals. I.e., they might not care about putting in a perfect hunter round, but if they have a theoretical dream vacation trekking through the Scottish highlands or something, you can talk about how staying centered and balanced will help their horse navigate the rocky hillsides. If they really just want saddle time, then I encourage them to work on their riding to the point that they're good enough to exercise some of the boarders' horses, or be competent enough to find a private part lease situation or something and won't need constant supervision.

And I don't ever yell. "Don't go around on the wrong lead" isn't helpful. "As you approach the corner, half halt and prepare for your canter depart" (with more detail as necessary) is. If they aren't riding enough to feel that they are on the wrong lead, then it's my job to tell them they are on the wrong lead, hopefully help them to recognize that they are, and set them up to get the correct lead as best I can. When they do get it, then I am sure to "mark" it with "Yes! That's it! Did you feel that?" so they can remember what it felt like. That goes a long way to helping them progress. I find that if *I* care that they are doing well that it's contagious. :yes:

[Czar]

That said, I was a once-a-weeker as a kid for similar reasons to what Jersey Fresh expressed. At my kid/teenage lesson factory barn, the consequence for not doing it right was being forced to do it the harder way--without stirrups, without reins, to prove that you could do it at a lower gait, to play "Simon Says" until only the top two or three students who had the most control of their animals were allowed to try the harder exercises of the day, to be forced to dismount and stand for 10 minutes if you were caught cutting corners more than twice,

While I certainly don't disagree with this method...I think my "parents" would freak! Honestly, the parents are a bigger hassle than the kids - I had one parent recently come storming into the ring and tell me "Susie is done for today" b/c I got on her case about not steering (kid has been riding for over a year). I said fine and went about the lesson with the other kids...ironically enough, dad interfered and made Susie finish the lesson but my point is, is that it's hard to do your job when you're worried about how the parents are going to react.

I've had parents mad b/c they didn't think I spent enough time on their kid, parents who were mad b/c I went 5 minutes over the allotted lesson time, parents who were mad b/c I gave up trying to force their kid to TRY, or parents who were mad b/c they would never have spoken above a whisper to Susie :rolleyes: I guess it comes with the territory but boy is it ever frustrating.

I do try to consider each student as an individual and we actually have a young girl that is now 17 that started with me when she was 12 that is practically a part of our family and will always have a horse to ride with us b/c of her extreme dedication and hard work - but to be honest, I haven't seen that kind of grit in a long time. Out of 50 students, it seems maybe 2 or 3 have the actual tenacity to stick with it.

The issue with this is is that we group lessons based on ability not on passion. Or else we might have a walk/trotter in with a rider doing small courses - so I can't even get into it with a certain lesson; only certain riders and than I don't want to seem like I am giving more attention to one person and not another, god forbid!! But truthfully, I think some of my students would be happier if I just ignored them (seeing as they barely listen anyway) and let them putt-putt around :lol:

All good insight here and on a side note, I understand not having the money available to take more than weekly lessons but I do feel that if you really want it, you can find a way. The 17 yr old I mentioned earlier would do ANYTHING to be able to ride (and did) and I just don't see that as much these days.

[Jersey Fresh]

All good insight here and on a side note, I understand not having the money available to take more than weekly lessons but I do feel that if you really want it, you can find a way. The 17 yr old I mentioned earlier would do ANYTHING to be able to ride (and did) and I just don't see that as much these days.

My parents had plenty of money to let me ride more, it was their rules and fears that limited me. I groomed at shows, did stalls, cleaned tack, ANYTHING that gave me a few extra minutes with the horses. Once I was out of their control (college) and had the foot the bill on my own, I found a barn where I could work off lessons and ride everyday. And again I did ANYTHING to be able to ride. I totally understand why they did it (keep me focused and so I didn't burn out) and now that I am done with school and worked my butt off to become the first doctor in the family, they fully support it-to the point of my dad talking his friend into giving me one of his retiring TBs!

They are few and far between, but thank you for helping this girl out and giving her more saddle time. To me it shows true horseman ship to be the one who will do anything just to be around horses. And I think that she will look back down the road and really appreciate this and thank you for giving her that extra time.

[Jsalem]

The once a week job can be frustrating. God bless my assistant trainer. She's a saint.

I think it's perfectly fine to come and enjoy riding once a week. You just have to let the student's goals guide in how much to "push" them. I do have higher expectations for those that want to go shows, though. My reputation is very important to me. Anyone that is going to be showing one of my lesson horses under my farm's banner needs to be someone that I am proud of, even if they don't actually take lessons from me. So the showing can be a motivator to some. You really need to know their goals.

[Czar]

And I don't ever yell. "Don't go around on the wrong lead" isn't helpful.

It is if they've been jumping for a year and still don't check if they are on the correct lead as they are heading into a corner! I'm not talking about kids who are just learning their leads or even kids who are just learning to jump and don't yet understand that you can't canter around the corner on the wrong lead. These are kids who have had it EXPLAINED to them a bajillion times but still don't look!!! You bet I'm going to raise my voice....not to mention I've spent many hours in the saddle getting my school horses to get their lead changes so the kids can practice them.

[Kalele]

I was still a once a weeker even after I started showing... my mom couldn't get me up to my barn with two other younger siblings around. It wasn't until they moved 5 minutes from my house did I get to ride more than once a week (and soon followed was a pony wahaha). I agree it really is about the individual. I worked my tiny butt off to be able to show. There are some kids who could ride 5 times a week and never really improve.

[Miss-O]

I grew up in a very non-horsey family. I got my once a week lesson but that was all they were willing to commit too. II got my first horse at 16 after 11 years of once per week lessons. The deal with my parents was they would pay for the purchase of the horse if I paid for it's 100% of it's care and no longer took lessons unless I paid for it. Through the rest of high school and into college I had to work two jobs, one to pay for board (I worked for board) and one job to pay for things like my car insurance, farrier and vet care etc... I didn't have the time nor the money for lessons. Now I'm starting a family and working on my masters so sadly I still don't have the money for lessons but that does not mean that don't want to ride correctly. I'm videotaping my rides every chance I get and have friends watch me etc.... Just because someone isn't taking lessons and/or not showing doesn't mean there isn't a desire to ride well and correctly.


I've been told by older instructors who have been doing it for years that I need to care less b/c the typical once-a-weeker does not actually want to improve...they just want to spend an enjoyable hour once a week riding around on a safe mount. True?


I highly disagree. When I was taking lessons (and still now without lessons) I want above all to ride correctly. That is my biggest passion about my riding horses. I love to strive for correct efficient riding. I was lucky I had an instructor who didn't sacrifice on the basics and obviously while I took longer to move forward then the kids who took lessons more often I still became a very proficient rider. But I was also athletic and IMO that helped me maintain my fitness so when I was riding in my lessons I was already fit so while I still did have to learn muscle memory for riding I could focus mostly on technique.

I think what you need to do as an instructor is find out what these students goals are (something any trainer worth their salt will do). If the kids are just looking to have fun then teach them the basics and correctness appropriate to the level of riding they want to do and keep the lessons fun. If they want to go farther then explain it may take them a while to do so and give them things to work on while they are at home, for instance since you mentioned that fitness seems to be an issue with some of your students give them exercise they can do out of the saddle that will help their strength and balance in the saddle.

Every now and again yelling is appropriate and necessary to grab your students attention but if this is a regular occurrence is there something missing in your teaching style that is causing this to happen so often? For instance are you telling them why it's important to be on the correct lead going around a corner? Do they understand why riding correctly helps their horse be comfortable and willing?

[kateh]

I've never been able to afford more than once a week lessons with the very occasional summer lease. I DO want to be a good rider and am not just there to tool around on horseback for an hour. I want a trainer who isn't going to let me get away with poor position. I can (and have) hold my own in lesson groups full of showing boarders with nice horses.

Yeah, I know I'm not going to get to the A shows on once a week lessons. The hope is that by the time I can afford a horse I'll have all my foundations down pat and can concentrate on the more advanced aspects of riding.

[Ponyclubrocks]

There is another way to separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak...give the once a week riders other assignments to do during the week. Have them read selected chapters from G M's Hunter Seat Equitation. Give them written quizzes etc. Have them watch DVD's from events or the Olympics and ask them to critique specific rides etc... The ones that really want to learn but have logistical or financial limitations on their ride time will eat it up. The others just want to have fun, and that's OK too...but you can use a different approach with them. Just a thought.

[Guin]

Geez, I thought ALL riding teachers yelled! That's what you're there for! "DIAGONAL! DIAGONAL! DIAGONAL!! WRONG LEAD!! WRONG LEAD!! LEG! LEG! LEG!"

Sounds to me like you're being WAY too nice! "Please notice you're on the wrong lead" isn't much of a way to get the point across.

And yes, I learned to ride with once-a-week lessons for three years until I finally got my own pony. And ALL my teachers yelled - but I LEARNED. Ditto with my daughter's first teachers - yes, they yelled, but she PAID ATTENTION. Once after a lesson - she was probably about 10 - she said that so-and-so cried after Trainer yelled at her. I asked DD if she ever cried when Trainer yelled - DD said, "NO! I just pay attention and do what she says!"

[Leather hAlter]

I was a once a weeker for years and years, and I was just as committed as those who rode more than once a week. Once a week riders can have the same goals to improve as much as they can. The ones who aren't listening to you are either space-cadets or just really aren't that interested in improving, but it's not because they ride only once a week. It's perfectly fine for people to get out of the riding experience what they want out of it as long as they're being safe, but don't always underestimate the want-to of the once-a-weekers ;)

[citydog]

It is if they've been jumping for a year and still don't check if they are on the correct lead as they are heading into a corner! I'm not talking about kids who are just learning their leads or even kids who are just learning to jump and don't yet understand that you can't canter around the corner on the wrong lead. These are kids who have had it EXPLAINED to them a bajillion times but still don't look!!! You bet I'm going to raise my voice....

Well, that's your style, and it's certainly part of the culture, but not one I'm inclined to perpetuate. I don't find it necessary.

[enjoytheride]

I am going to say that if someone has been taking lessons for a year and still don't know if they are on the wrong lead then there is something wrong with the instructor and the instructor needs to find another way of teaching it instead of yelling.

That said while I have my own horse and ride 5 days a week I can't afford regular lessons but if someone wants to tell me I'm not as serious as the rider that takes 3 lessons a week then I can take my hard earned money elsewhere. Before I had a horse I was riding only once a week but I wanted it just as bad as the people that could afford to ride more often. I'd gladly show up and do stalls for an extra lesson, I thought about improving in my lesson all week, and I worked hard on things at home to make me fit enough to ride. Again I'll take my money elsewhere if you think I'm not serious.

I have been riding for awhile but there are some horses where it is harder for me to tell if they are on the wrong lead. I rode one older equitation horse who wasn't sound enough for a lead change but had a hell of a counter canter. Other horses I rode had an auto change so I never worried about my leads.

Part of learning about leads when jumping is having an instructor take the time to help the student feel the lead without looking. Land from a fence and the trainer says "which lead are you on?" "Good now simple change, good now keep going." Having them sit the canter and feel how their body moves differently for the different leads. Pick up the counter canter and feeling how different it is helps too.

Lastly, someone who is new to jumping probably has a whole lot more on their mind like "oh jesus now there are 7 more of these suckers" then worrying about their leads and it really is a ton to think about at once. As they get better jumping they can start to think about their leads but for awhile it takes a trainer to remind them what to do.

[Sing Mia Song]

There is another way to separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak...give the once a week riders other assignments to do during the week. Have them read selected chapters from G M's Hunter Seat Equitation. Give them written quizzes etc. Have them watch DVD's from events or the Olympics and ask them to critique specific rides etc... The ones that really want to learn but have logistical or financial limitations on their ride time will eat it up. The others just want to have fun, and that's OK too...but you can use a different approach with them. Just a thought.

I was just going to post the same thing, but with physical exercises for homework rather than reading--both are important. Your riders who can't maintain position might benefit from a stretching routine, or leg exercises with an exercise ball. Dianna R Dennis' Rider's Fitness (http://www.amazon.com/Riders-Fitness-Program-Dianna-Dennis/dp/1580175422/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1224978019&sr=1-1) book has lots of good exercises you can tailor to a rider's individual needs. Or you can buy a copy for yourself and assign a couple exercises for them to do daily each month. The riders who want to improve will do them. The ones who like just being on the horse won't.

[Ray]

I've been told by older instructors who have been doing it for years that I need to care less b/c the typical once-a-weeker does not actually want to improve...they just want to spend an enjoyable hour once a week riding around on a safe mount. True?


The problem is - it will be true for some and completely wrong about others.
Thats the challenge of any kind of teaching, to not sink to the lowest common denominator. I was a once a weeker (started riding at age 36). I desperately wanted to improve. I had a very demanding job and student loans to pay off . I really have to thank my patient instructor! No, I did not progress very far. But I did learn the basics. And got bit by the bug - now I own a lovely horse and ride 5 days a week (and show. which I vowed I would never do).


Lastly, those of you who ride once a week....how far do you expect to go in your riding?

I try not to bore my students with the same thing over and over again but I feel they get to a certain point where, if they want to move to the next level, they need to commit to something more than just once a week. The next level is basically anything over 2'9" - I don't want my school horses being guinea pigs for kids that don't have the strength to ride properly. Is this fair?


Of course thats fair! What did I get out of once a week?; competence at W/T/C, and a start in jumping. Like cross rails and 2' jumps. Thats it. I completely accepted that to go further, I would have to ride more often, and when I could afford it and committ to it, I did. Some kids wont be able to if the family cant afford it, but some kids just need the chance to get more into it and learn what hard work riding well is. What a valuable lesson! (ie hard work towards a goal; minimal effort= minimal gain)

[Czar]

I am going to say that if someone has been taking lessons for a year and still don't know if they are on the wrong lead then there is something wrong with the instructor and the instructor needs to find another way of teaching it instead of yelling.

That said while I have my own horse and ride 5 days a week I can't afford regular lessons but if someone wants to tell me I'm not as serious as the rider that takes 3 lessons a week then I can take my hard earned money elsewhere. Before I had a horse I was riding only once a week but I wanted it just as bad as the people that could afford to ride more often. I'd gladly show up and do stalls for an extra lesson, I thought about improving in my lesson all week, and I worked hard on things at home to make me fit enough to ride. Again I'll take my money elsewhere if you think I'm not serious.

I have been riding for awhile but there are some horses where it is harder for me to tell if they are on the wrong lead. I rode one older equitation horse who wasn't sound enough for a lead change but had a hell of a counter canter. Other horses I rode had an auto change so I never worried about my leads.

Part of learning about leads when jumping is having an instructor take the time to help the student feel the lead without looking. Land from a fence and the trainer says "which lead are you on?" "Good now simple change, good now keep going." Having them sit the canter and feel how their body moves differently for the different leads. Pick up the counter canter and feeling how different it is helps too.

Lastly, someone who is new to jumping probably has a whole lot more on their mind like "oh jesus now there are 7 more of these suckers" then worrying about their leads and it really is a ton to think about at once. As they get better jumping they can start to think about their leads but for awhile it takes a trainer to remind them what to do.

Oh brother...if you'll notice I mentioned in an earlier post that I wasn't talking about kids who were just learning to jump. And I'm not talking courses either...I'm talking landing from a single fence and proceeding to canter around the corner on the wrong lead after having it explained that a horse needs to be balanced in the corner and moving OFF your leg not careening around on the inside shoulder as it makes it difficult to get to another jump properly especially if it's a short corner....is that precise enough?

Do I need to explain exactly the situation so people aren't confused? I know these riders know their correct leads....they just aren't concentrating enough. Yes, there is a lot to think about - if you don't want to think that hard....don't ride.

I've told my students dozens of times that riding is a thinking sport - the rider is in charge of controlling an entirely separate being so you had better be thinking up there. I understand lapses when you get flustered after a bad jump or something but I think I have taught long enough to be able to tell when that happens and when a rider is simply too lazy to fix a mistake. For all the hard-working, dedicated and bright students there are 10 more that don't really want to try all that hard at all.

I suppose while I'm at it I might as well defend myself on the yelling point....I rarely yell but I do raise my voice or will repeat myself a dozen times. Like I said, sometimes it seems the only way to get a reaction from a student. And I'd also like to point out that I am in charge of these kids' safety...so while you may think I am being a big meanie by getting after Johnny for having a mile long rein AGAIN - I say what I say to prevent accidents and I tell my students often not to take it personally but I have to be forceful on some points for safety's sake. I don't think that is being unreasonable.

[Linny]

First, try to find out what each rider wants. Some may really want to improve and buy a nice 3'0 horse but have never mentioned it. Others may just want an hour away from family and work pressure. Try to group the ambitious ones together if you can.

For some once a weekers, maintaining muscle strength from lesson to lesson can be tough, esp for adults. For those that really want to improve but are stuck, you might find a suitable horse for them to hack if they can ride an extra time per week.
You really need to find out if their lack of improvement is physical or mental. Those that are just inattentive may love to ride but not have the mind for what they see as "little details" (like leads...:rolleyes:.) Some are doing it because mom wants them to. Dome are just ditzy and others just don't "get" that stuff like leads or heals down are important for the safety of horse and rider.

[Czar]

Thats the challenge of any kind of teaching, to not sink to the lowest common denominator.

An excellent quote...I've often even commented on riders that have come to our program from other barns and have not been taught things that I would consider fairly basic and have been riding for 4,5,6 years!

It always reminds me why I DO care - I would hate for a once-a-weeker of mine to go to another barn and the instructor to wonder what in the world I had been teaching them.

[enjoytheride]

I think trainers that have natural talent or have been riding forever have no idea how much it takes to learn (especially as an adult).

I was taking a lesson on somebody's horse today after having some bad rides on my hot hot mare.

My friend said "put your hands down coming into the line and keep them there"

hands up

"grab the martingale strap"

hands up

"grab the martingale strap I swear its going to be ok"

hands down but went up on the out

"I swear to god he's going to pack you, grab onto that martingale strap"

hands on martingale strap!!

I was listening EVERY SINGLE TIME there was just something that wouldn't let me physically do it. Did I understand what she was asking? Yes. Was I upset at myself for not getting it? You bet, but it was the hardest thing for me to do even though I listened every time. Now if she didnt understand that then I would never have figure it out, but I eventually got it and it was better.

So no despite explaining to me how it was supposed to work, and knowing in my mind how it was supposed to work it took me several tries to get it. Being an instructor is about realizing when your students really are trying and that they just can't do it for some reason. Figure out some other way. Have them come down to the trot after every fence, trot out of the corner, then pick up the canter. When they are organized enough for that them help them learn how the canter should feel and work with them until they get it. It's going to take time because the body needs to learn. While some people might not be serious about it and you might want to weed out of your program there are others that are serious and just are having trouble getting it.

[DancingQueen]

Somebody might have said so already but you will have to get a feel for the particular student.
The recreational riders might enjoy a low pressure situation and feel confused by a trainer who has higher goals then they do. The ones who want to improve will perhaps theive under higher preasure. For the riders who want more then your schoolies have to give I would put a bigger emphazis on form and challenge them to perfect not just do.

With the low-key hobby riders I can draw a parallell from my own life.
I took yoga for a season in Wellington. The instructor did the exact same thing every lesson. Going trough the same motions every time, knowing what to expect both made it easy for me to follow my improvements within the set program and also made it a very pleasant and relaxing hour. No surprises, just softly continuing to improve basic moves.
Occationally she would show us the final pose that the exercises we did would lead up to when perfected, they were mostly miles away from what we did in class but we had a good visual of the purpose and the goal.

In that spirit I have found that with many of my once a weekers a more cookie cutter base where every exercise has it's time and place and just gets tweaked and improved a little every week is a better system. Some riders come every week just to enjoy the riding experience and keeping it simpler and more "serene" for them is not a bad thing.
It is sometimes hard as a trainer not to want to make olympians out of all of them, or a t least take them to the best of their ability but the recreational rider is also important for the bread and butter so understanding their needs and keeping them happy is equally important.

[Erinneedshelp!!]

I myself am a once a weeker and have been for 9 years now. I began riding at a barn that only did once a week lessons, so thats what my parents thought was the norm. When i learned enough to buy my first horse and my parents realized how expensive a horse would be thier plans changed. I am now eighteen and still dont have my own horse simply because my family does not have the financial means to have my own horse. I love horses, and the sport and exercise i get out of courses, but i have been riding for 9 yrs and still only do 2'6 courses once a week. Sometimes i wonder why i am not better but i realize i can only progress so fast and do so much while riding once a week on a lesson horse. Once i graduate from college...3 years away!!...i plan on buying my own horse when i can afford it and then progressing at my own pace.

I dont think you should judge your riders just because they only ride once a week. you may have very passionate and talented riders but do to other circumstances can only do so much. Be patient with them and in time they will realize, being on the wrong lead must be fixed, treat your clients as individuals as they are, some will just be there for fun, some may like the strong tone because they are striving to become a better rider as best they can.

Sry for my rambling!!

[EventFan]

I am going to give my side, the parent who drives one hour each way to the barn for lessons. Before my children got their own ponies, I could only afford to have them at the barn for one lesson per week. If they wanted to have a practice ride it was $30 each, in addition to the already $60 each for lessons, and add in the gas to travel-more than I could afford!

But that being said, I would not have expected any less "lesson" or attention from the instructor than the kids who rode several days per week. No, neither of my children will ride in the Olympics, not even the McClays; But I can assure you they enjoy and work hard at their lessons. I do not feel they deserve to be treated with any less respect because they aren't born into a family with money to spare or parents who are riding coaches.

[H/J Anonymous]

A few words of advice....

Most riders start with once a week lessons - even those that are now riding in the GP Ring. So, keep with it because even those kids that decide not to stick with it will remember riding for the rest of their lives.


Secondly, I would like to address your mom's quote about you wanting all your riders to be Olympians....that might not be the case, but you might be expecting too much progress with the kids with only once a week lessons. My suggestion is to give the child a good warm-up ride that helps with what you worked on last week and each week take it a step further each week. However, remember to mainly concentrate on one detail and build on that. It is really not realistic to expect drastic changes from week to week but small improvements.

Keep it easy and fun -- if a child turns out to be more than a once a week rider then you can start nit picking...for the time being keep the focus limited. Maybe heels down for a couple weeks, but do varying exercises to keep it fun. Week after work on posture....

[skatepixie]

I'm a once a weeker because of money. I can't afford two lessons a week. I wish I could. I also wish I could afford my own horse, or at least my barn's half lease program, which would give me two rides on my own and one lesson each week. However, on my student's budget, it isn't happening. I hope to get some freelance copywriting jobs soon, and maybe then I can add in some extra lessons here and there.

However, when I'm in a lesson, I want to ride and ride well. I don't want to sit on a horse doing nothing, and I don't want to ride poorly. Eventually, when I'm out of college and money is less tight (I live debt free...and while that's hard now, I know that I won't have student loans later) I plan on riding more and eventually getting a horse, etc. My trainer understands my goals, and helps me work toward them.

That, to me, is one of the most important talks for a trainer and client to have. Once the student has ridden for a while, and starts to understand the different options the sport has...do they want to show? Own a horse? Jump? Only jump little things? Or eventually jump bigger?

I do realize, though, that I'm unique...I have good muscle memory. Now, that's a blessing and a curse. I can do something once a week, and keep the ability to do it. However, if I learn something wrong, its hell to unlearn it. For example, I breathe very shallow by habit, and now that I'm jumping courses, it's becoming a problem. I'm really making an effort to work on my breathing outside of lessons, and do the exercises I used to do in choir back in high school. I swear, my lungs were so much better when I was singing 5 days a week.

[copper1]

I have two wonderful "once a weeker" girls, both 14, both been taking lessons for years. One's parents can well afford the kid a horse and won't because it would take up too much family time and the mom wants the kid to be a cheerleader. The other's parents just can't afford the upkeep on a horse. Both of these kids love horses and love to ride. Both come early to get their horses ready and care for them after. Very frustrating since both could become quite nice riders if they had more saddle time.
I start their lessons with a continuation of what we had worked on last time, after I let them warm up on their own, letting them practice and figure out stuff from the previous week. We do some polishing then I will teach them a new skill of some kind, even one that would be very difficult to acheive on a lesson horse. Gives them a challenge and when they see the other kids doing it on their own horses, gives them the idea of what it is suppossed to be and something to strive for.
Would be nice if deserving kids like these could ride more. Wonder how many very talented riders are out there that are lost due to lack of funding?

[Bobthehorse]

I try not to bore my students with the same thing over and over again but I feel they get to a certain point where, if they want to move to the next level, they need to commit to something more than just once a week. The next level is basically anything over 2'9" - I don't want my school horses being guinea pigs for kids that don't have the strength to ride properly. Is this fair?



Completely fair. And I will also commend you being a responsible trainer and not letting the kids do whatever they please. I wish there were more like you. I am sick of seeing kids move through the levels who really only do look like they ride once a week (same bad habits you mentioned, especially standing in the stirrups o/f). So kudos for keeping them at the same level, when lots of trainers would have move up, just because.

[Czar]

I do not feel they deserve to be treated with any less respect because they aren't born into a family with money to spare or parents who are riding coaches.

This is a bit much, isn't it?

My point was that riding once a week does not/can not give a rider the muscle strength to lay it down properly - natural talent does go along way but the old adage does say "Practice makes perfect".

There was absolutely no talk of respecting these riders less...only expecting less from them. This touches on a sore spot for me as I feel it rather unreasonable for a parent to expect the same lesson structure for a once-a-weeker that a regular, 5 times a week rider would have. But apparently, they do.

I can drill a rider that rides 5 times a week as I know they have the physical capability (or should) of doing what I am requiring of them. But if I tell Susie 10 times to not let her leg slip back as it causes her upper body to topple forward and it still doesn't happen...sorry, but I am going to give up. I cannot MAKE her physically strong enough to keep her leg where it should be and no amount of explaining WHY this is important is going to make her physically strong enough either.

This is where I am at - I used to just expect, expect, expect but I am realising that a rider who practices this sport ONE HOUR a week cannot possibly have the strength required to meet even some basic expectations. The frustrating part of this as alluded to above is parents who expect their child to be coached like other riders who ride multiple times a week - I would love to say to them "Why don't YOU get on and show us how it's done!"

It has nothing to do with money - it's silly to even suggest such a thing. We have plenty of clients that can't really afford to be doing what they are doing but they make a way for it - it's the same thing with time. NO ONE has time...truthfully, everyone is busy but you prioritize. Not that I am suggesting that everyone who rides should have horses at the top of their list of priorities...but people always seem to want more than they are willing to commit to. Sorry, not the way it works in life or with horses - it's a huge sacrifice to be able to own a horse...if you can't afford it/don't have time...you're going to have to be content with less than someone who does.

[galwaybay]

I think the OP needs to re-read Enjoytherides post(s). How many kids are in these lessons - based on my personal experience, a rider gets much more out of smaller lessons than larger group lessons (I mean 2-3 students vs 6-10). When I was a 1-a-weeker often there were around 10 people in my class. It's hard to learn much in that group size. Here you are - everyone is going to canter 1 at a time around the ring. First few riders - no problem, then you have the problem school horse- just will not pick up that canter - round and round they go trotting faster, faster, canter 1 stride stop, try again and so it goes; then you have the next few - fine, uh oh the new school horse - takes off like a banshie - a runway - instructor sreams out "CIRCLE" (always my favorite instructor comment w/ a runaway - do you think I would be runaway with if I could CIRCLE:eek:)

You have to also look at your teaching technique - not trying to put you down but if you have a group of kids who you've been teaching for some period of time and none of them are "getting it" the common denominator is the Instructor. Yelling can do more harm than good - particularly w/ young kids - it's embarrassing to be yelled out - I saw a kid in lessons in tears because of the way his instructor was carrying on w/ him - it was horrible and I can assure you the instructors yelling and then belittling the child did nothing to improve their riding at that particular point and I would be surprised if that kid ever came back for another lesson. My trainer has leather lungs - most of the time she is great, very technical and takes the time to show and explain how do to things, however, sometimes she yells and screams and it never accomplishes anything except to maybe release her frustrations - it does not make or encourage any of the kids ro ride any better at that particular time. What does work is when she tells them to STOP, come over and then she explains in concise terms/words what she is talking about and wanting them to do. The hard part about a teaching is that sometimes what comes so easy and naturally to the instructor (from their riding perspective) is hard for them to express.

Just try to be patient

[justathought]

Most of it has already been said here. Yep, there are recreational riders who just want to have a good time. And, yes there are people who only have the money to do once a week (and can't find a way to do more) And everything in between.

I think the key is the individual - sounds like you may not have had a talk with each student about goals and expectation. Teach to that goal and expecatation - and make sure that it is reset if it is unrealistic. Not every college student aspires to be get a PhD - those that do stay in school longer and more hours and than that don't. Your problem is not the recreational rider who wants to spend a pleasant hour a week (still with the correct technique - but on a low stress basis). Your problem is the person who wants to jump over 2' and show and win and ride once a week. Some things are possible and some are not - as a teacher who need to outline the difference.

From my point of view - teaching is satisfying when it helps students to reach their goals, whatever they may be. Its frustrating when students could do more - but some don't want to and some just can't make it happen

Riding is just like anything else - to do it really well you need to have desire, time, and a work ethic - but you do have another living creature involved and it is your responsibility to make sure that both the rider and the horse are safe and well treated.

[enjoytheride]

"I can drill a rider that rides 5 times a week as I know they have the physical capability (or should) of doing what I am requiring of them. But if I tell Susie 10 times to not let her leg slip back as it causes her upper body to topple forward and it still doesn't happen...sorry, but I am going to give up. I cannot MAKE her physically strong enough to keep her leg where it should be and no amount of explaining WHY this is important is going to make her physically strong enough either."

When I was riding western and taking one jumping lesson a week my legs improved, I could tell because they hurt like hell after a brutal lesson with 20 minutes of two point followed by no stirrup work, followed by gymnastics. Got easier every week though. However, my leg STILL slips back because that is a fault with me, I assumed that most riders have some sort of flaw that they work hard on to improve.

I think you are doing these students a huge disservice then and it would break my heart to find out that my instructor had "given up" on me because I could only ride once a week. I would certainly hope that you would inform me of this so I could take my money to someone else who understood I had money/time limitations and was willing to see me progress slower (or explain to my parents what the limitations were but that you were willing to do that) then someone who was able to ride more often.

[Cita]

I'm a once-a-weeker right now because of finances. I just left my current trainer because I didn't feel she was teaching me seriously enough. My lesson fees are the same as everyone else's, and I expect the same caliber of teaching as if I could ride every day. Particularly when I make this clear to the instructor. I don't mind spending an entire lesson working with no stirrups, or doing flat work, or being limited to jumping 2' - what I want is to be really challenged and given extensive feedback so I can improve as much as I can.

It's hard for me not to come across as a bit bitter on this subject, as it's rather a sensitive one for me. Yes, once-a-weekers might not provide the "instant gratification" of moving up quickly through divisions or just overall showing rapid improvements in their riding. However, that doesn't mean that they're not worth teaching seriously. Riders are like horses - you have to teach them at their own speed. ;)

As several other posters said - you have to evaluate each student individually. If a student doesn't *want* rigorous instruction, that's one thing. But many once-a-weekers still do.

[Lucassb]

First and foremost, I think you have to ask yourself whether you really WANT to teach students who ride strictly as a recreational activity.

If you'd really prefer to be teaching students who are focused on being competitive (no matter how often they ride) then the ones who are just in it for fun are going to frustrate you to death. If you aren't willing to hang in there with them and would choose to "give up" providing instruction if they don't get it done in your timeframe, well, I'm sorry to be harsh, but you are cheating them out of that lesson money. They are paying you to provide that instruction and it is the instructor's job to come up with creative ways to provide that instruction in a way that the student can assimilate.

FWIW, I think it is very unlikely that so many of your students are just ignoring the instruction you are providing. One or two? Perhaps. But not more than that. You know the old saying about the definition of insanity being repeating the same action over and over and expecting a different result? Sounds like you are *there* with some of these folks.

Instead of repeating the same instruction, you might try something like, "move your leg back 10 inches," which will topple them on to the neck. Then have them stick their legs way out in front "waterskiing style" to show them what that does. Then tell them more specifically where to put their leg to stay in balance. A lot of students can't *tell* where their legs are when you say "put them on the girth." I would be willing to bet that many think their legs ARE where they are supposed to be - or they have a good reason for leaving them where they are that they haven't voiced to you (it feels uncomfortable or unsteady, and they are afraid, perhaps.)

You can also video tape lessons (parents are sometimes good for that) to illustrate your point in a clearer way to those who don't seem to be "getting" your verbal instruction. You can have the lesson students critique each other, which makes them more aware of things sometimes. There are a million ways to get things done without routinely having to raise your voice.

That said, it is definitely true that teaching group lessons is harder than privates. This is particularly true when you have groups that are disparate in both ability and motivation. Add in disparity in the ability and motivation of your school horses and it can be a real challenge. If that is the situation where you are, consider if it is possible to re-mix the groups so that you have more like minded students grouped together.

The reality is that many (most?) students in this kind of environment are not going to move up into more competitive situations. Whether it is a lack of interest or a lack of finances that keeps them in those once a week slots, if you can't give them 100% then it is time to look around and find another position.

[findeight]

A very long time ago, my barn went to specific levels with specific goals in writing. Each student must meet the goals of each level before they can move to the next. Period. Own horse. School horse. Anybody.

Doesn't matter if they ride every day or once a week, they stay where they are until they can "test out" so to speak.

So to advance from, say, a Level II that works to master W-T-C and does crossrails to a Level III that jumps 2' courses, they have to know the diagonals AND the leads-no flying changes of course.

That sets a clear goal that is the same for all and know going in. That reduces the parental angst and makes it a little easier on the schoolies. Not to mention the student who gets a school horse for a Level III or IV lesson after 3 days of clumping around on the wrong lead.

Basics are basics and equate to safety. Have to say, surprised anybody who does not know leads is doing any 2'9" courses...or anything over 2'.

Also, OPs barn is one of few that allow schoolies to do anything over 2'6" on a regular basis.

[Czar]

Lots of good insight here....it's always interesting to get the perspective from the "other" side.

Just to clear a few things up - not ALL of my students repeat the same mistake again and again without improving. But even if a few do it...it's still frustrating - I don't think venting my frustration on an internet BB must equate to having no patience. I am giving a small account of my situation - sure, I have a number of kids who are stars and really try their heart out. Perhaps I should start another thread about them so people don't get the wrong idea.

And I will reiterate, it's not that these kids don't know their leads...for some reason, they may just not be trying that day. Maybe they had a long day at school, maybe they had a fight with their parents...I try to be accommodating and am NEVER belittling but I can't tailor my lessons based on everyone's personal mood that day, can I?

enjoytheride...when I said give up, I didn't mean forever and eternally..perhaps I should have specified - I can only explain things in so many ways and take so much time on one individual rider in a group lesson - believe me, I have done it before and had to face parents who thought I didn't pay enough attention to their child b/c another was having an obvious problem.

galwaybay....why is it the instructor's fault if riders aren't "getting it"? Riding well is hard and takes years of practice and you're expecting an instructor who gets exactly one hour a week to somehow make people's muscles understand how they are supposed to go?

This is my point for those of you who are deliberately misunderstanding me....I wonder how someone who practices one hour a week on something can have the muscle strength capability? And than, if they don't...is it fair for me to expect them to add more leg, or stay more off their saddle, or keep their heels furthur down? That is what I mean by "give up"...I don't mean on that rider as an individual (I'm not that heartless) but on trying in THAT SESSION to get them to do something that they may very well not have the capability of doing but may seem basic to me.

[Whisper]

I've usually been able to ride more than once/week, even though I usually only take lessons that frequently (sometimes more often). In all of my lessons, I want my instructor to give me as much feedback as possible, but I understand that in a group lesson, it may not be feasible, since they have a lot of other people to watch as well. Some days, I'm just physically or mentally not "there" as well as usual, and my instructors are generally pretty understanding about it. In my experience, some instructors are much more capable of teaching effectively than others.

A couple of years ago, I was riding with a dressage instructor (I had been her student for about 3 years at that point) and a H/J instructor. The dressage instructor told me that I couldn't show her schoolie at intro, because my seat and hands were so bad that she didn't want me representing her program in public. I was really confused, since she was having me do S/I, H/I, TOH, flying changes, etc. in my lessons - if I was so horrible, why wasn't she having me focus on basics?

So, I left, and focused on H/J for a while (I had been riding at both barns). I primarily worked with the assistant trainer, but occasionally took lessons with the head instructor. A couple of months later, the head trainer took me aside, and told me that I was wasting my time and money by continuing, though she wouldn't kick me out of the program if I wanted to keep trying. However, I was learning more slowly than any student she'd had in over 20 years, including ones who were blind, had ADD, or were otherwise seriously disabled. :eek: I don't think either of them were deliberately being cruel, they just got really frustrated. I was riding 5 times a week, primarily in private lessons with some group lessons and practice rides.

So, I switched to vaulting and eventing, and made a lot better progress with only 1 lesson per week each, plus part-leasing the event horse 2-3 days/week. The instructors were willing to be patient with me, and repeated themselves until I was able to feel things myself. :D I still have a *LOT* of work to do, but I'm having fun, and I'm improving.

It might be worthwhile to try to think of different ways of saying the same thing, or trying to bring in audio, kinesthetic, and visual learning approaches (hear his hoofbeats, feel your hip do this when he does that, watch someone else do it correctly, make analogies). If one of the other instructors at your barn does teach that level, perhaps try and see if they can take the student for a couple of sessions and see if it's a better match.

[S1969]

I wonder how someone who practices one hour a week on something can have the muscle strength capability? And than, if they don't...is it fair for me to expect them to add more leg, or stay more off their saddle, or keep their heels furthur down? That is what I mean by "give up"...I don't mean on that rider as an individual (I'm not that heartless) but on trying in THAT SESSION to get them to do something that they may very well not have the capability of doing but may seem basic to me.


As a once a week adult rider (began as an adult) and the mother of two riding kids (one 7 year old w-t beginner; one 10 year old w-t-c)....I think you can make progress with just once a week. What may be the issue for you is that you a) know that some kids could ride better if they tried harder; and b) know some kids could ride better if they rode more often. I'm not sure you'll ever be able to solve this problem if you teach beginners, especially if your beginners are young children who may have other interests besides horses.

First of all, I would suggest that you evaluate your own teaching methods; not as a criticism but as a way of improving your limited time with your students. Three weeks ago my instructor told me my leg was behind me several times and I really did try to fix it. After my lesson she got on my horse and said "this is what you look like". It was not at all what I thought I looked like, and I've made huge improvements in the last two lessons. It's not always that the rider doesn't care or doesn't have the strength, but that there is a disconnect between instructor and student.

That said, my trainer has finally made a rule that students in jumping lessons must take a flat lesson also during the week (if you are *just* a lesson student; people with their own or leased horses are expected at least to school). She had too many students who were taking up the jumping lesson time with flatwork problems. She has more than enough students left; maybe some of them became disgruntled and moved on, but she's happier and thinks her riders are better now.

[HARROLDhasmyheart]

I know one of the biggest things I wanted when way back when I was a 'once-a-weeker' was to be treated the same as everyone else, and as if it actually mattered that I was on a horse and paying for a lesson.

[EventFan]

Now this makes much more sense, wording...Except I don't think anyone is deliberately misunderstanding.

"This is my point for those of you who are deliberately misunderstanding me....I wonder how someone who practices one hour a week on something can have the muscle strength capability? And than, if they don't...is it fair for me to expect them to add more leg, or stay more off their saddle, or keep their heels furthur down? That is what I mean by "give up"...I don't mean on that rider as an individual (I'm not that heartless) but on trying in THAT SESSION to get them to do something that they may very well not have the capability of doing but may seem basic to me."

Perhaps "give up" is not the correct wording. I'll give you an example that my daughter's coach used this summer. My girl had grown more than 4 inches in less than a year, and that really made it hard to keep her heels down-and prior to growth spurt heels were not a problem. The coach gave her some exercises to work on at home, and took away stirrups in lessons. Between the two her heels made amazing progress. Of course not in ONE lesson. So the coach didn't "give up", rather tried another strategy.

To answer your other question, NO, you should not give up on things that are basics (heels, leg, hands, etc) and the riders should not be allowed to move up until they have a muscle ability to do so. By allowing them to move up you would be putting their safety at risk and allowing your schoolies to be punished for being able to save little bottoms.

As many others have pointed out, you never know what circumstances may change and that rider become a real talent. OR, maybe they just want to ride safely and have fun jumping logs in their own field. Either way, giving up on them because they only have one day per week is an injustice.

[Pokey]

I just deleted everything I originally posted, because I read a little bit more, and quite frankly, thought findeight's post made perfect sense.

[galwaybay]

Czar -I meant the common denominator is the instructor - that as a teacher one has to look and perhaps re-evaluate their teaching methods - what might work for one group of kids, is apparently not working for the other group. My interpretation of your original post is that you were/are frustrated with the lack of progression of some of your students who happen to ride once a week. Very often trainers/coaches/teachers use the same language in every scenario - and that's what I meant by the "instructor". Sometimes an instructor might have to use different terminology, explain things differently, use different metaphors - whatever to get the same point across. When I started riding again as an adult, I lessoned initially once a week. Not once did the instructor ever take the time to show or describe to us in any kind of detail what exactly they wanted us to do. I also think w/ kids sometimes if they don't "get it" they might be too embarrassed to ask you to explain it to them again so then you have that whole scenario - didn't you know that being an instructor also involves being a part-time shrink. At any rate you sound as though your heart is in the right place and that's the most important thing

[Jeannette, formerly ponygyrl]

I'm thinking some very clear progressions/expectations for your students would help everyone. "When you show me X, you may do Y" In a particular lesson, maybe telling everyone they may do their first jump set after they canter two figure 8's showing correct shapes and leads. Then they may go do this line, and if they are on the correct lead by the gate, they may go on to the second line. Otherwise they are to circle, get the correct lead, then trot and go to the end of the line to try again their next turn.

The sense I get is that some of your students have no particular motivation to do it correctly 'cause hey, they're having fun. You are the gnat spoiling that fun with your buzzing. ;) Setting things up so you are the gatekeeper who allows them more fun when they meet a standard gives them some responsibility.


I find once a weekers CAN ride in proper position - they just may not be able to hold some parts of it it as long. I tell mine even when they are walking to focus on the sitting tall with long legs and heels down, to get the muscle memory so eventually they can think about more interesting things.

Staying in two point does take strength - but it takes a lot less if the leg is properly positioned. I do find that the ability to hold oneself out of the saddle over oxers can be an issue, but to some extent it's why god provided manes and I provide neck straps...;) "Things we must learn before doing them, we can only learn by doing them" says my coach quoting Aristotle.

[Czar]

didn't you know that being an instructor also involves being a part-time shrink.

:lol: Yes, I've heard that one.

Thanks again for the advice and perspective everyone - I have lots of ideas for improving the lesson program and getting into people's heads ;)

[trubandloki]

It has nothing to do with money - it's silly to even suggest such a thing. We have plenty of clients that can't really afford to be doing what they are doing but they make a way for it - it's the same thing with time. NO ONE has time...truthfully, everyone is busy but you prioritize. Not that I am suggesting that everyone who rides should have horses at the top of their list of priorities...but people always seem to want more than they are willing to commit to. Sorry, not the way it works in life or with horses - it's a huge sacrifice to be able to own a horse...if you can't afford it/don't have time...you're going to have to be content with less than someone who does.

It is even more silly to think that in many cases it does not have to do with money. I just can not believe you are so dead set on the 'if they wanted to ride more they would' theory.

So very not true.

Some kids do not have parents that can afford the once per week, that alone is putting a huge strain on the family budget. The same kid might also have two parents that work full time jobs which makes it not a possibility for them to get to the barn any other days of the week to work to earn more lessons, etc.

When growing up I was always at most a once per weeker, sometimes once every other week when that was all we could afford.
It in no way meant I did not want to learn to be a better rider. It meant we were living with in our means to the best of our ability.

[horsecrazy]

Czar - for what my humble opinion is worth, I totally understand your point and I read your question as an honest and sincere request for advice on how to better teach these students.

I have been a "once-a-week" rider at a few times in my life. When I first started riding (granted I was five years old), I took once weekly lessons. They were fabulous and eventually, when my parents realized I was serious about it, I progressed to more frequent lessons and riding, and eventually my own pony.

Much later, after I took a two year hiatus from riding while in grad school, I wanted to get back into lessons, but had sold my horse. I could only afford once weekly lessons, but this was actually MORE frustrating to me than when I first started, because my mind and body KNEW what I was supposed to be doing, but I just couldn't get my out-of-shape and out-of-practice body to cooperate! I decided that I needed to be riding more frequently than once a week if I wanted to make any progress, so I was able to find a free half-lease and continue with weekly lessons. The lessons were 100 times more productive once I could practice on my own during the week, putting to work what I had learned during my lessons.

My suggestion that would help you understand the ambitions of the RIDERS you teach (versus YOUR hopes and desires for them) is to have them write down a few goals. Long-term, short-term, something inbetween. You may find out that some of your once-a-weekers DO have show goals, and some might have "fun" as their top priority. That will help you tailor your plans and work with them in a way that I think would be much less frustrating for all parties involved.

Best of luck!

[katie16]

. . . I've had parents mad b/c they didn't think I spent enough time on their kid, parents who were mad b/c I went 5 minutes over the allotted lesson time, parents who were mad b/c I gave up trying to force their kid to TRY, or parents who were mad b/c they would never have spoken above a whisper to Susie :rolleyes: I guess it comes with the territory but boy is it ever frustrating.

I can top that!

We gave up our USEF show dates years ago, but still do some schooling shows (which consists primarily of lesson kids from our place, some locals that keep their critters at home, and some area pros bring their weekly lesson students and/or greenies to jump around becasue we have great inviting courses with jumps that are decorated like a rated show). Customer's kid was 10, had been riding (once-a-week lessons only) for about two years, and was a total and complete space shot - once of the worst I have ever encountered in the twenty five years I have been teaching.

Kid rides one of my lesson horses in the w/t and beginner's over fences (tiny crossrails (4) once around the outside). The 17yr old critter she is on is normaly dead quite. But, at this show it is fall and the morning of show day it is suddenly is 25 degrees colder and a bit breezy. Most of them go on the lunge at least for a few minutes just to make sure they are okay - him included. Kid rides him in the flat classes. All is fine except that I can tell he is MUCH brighter than usual and past experience with him tells me that he is likely to be fresh over the jumps in this mood - not too bad - but definitely more than this kid could handle - without a doubt she'd be on the ground before she had a clue things were going wrong. So I tell the kid and parents that I am just not going to have her jump today because Willy is a little to perky for Mary and I don't feel confident that it would be safe for her. Parents and child are dumbfounded. Parents get angry because Mary is upset she cannot jump. Parents get nasty and try to tell me that she really wants to do it. I stress to them that I do not feel is is SAFE for her to jump today as I am quite confident that Willy will be way to fresh for her and that she will for sure be off and I don't want to let her get hurt if I can help it. They can tell that I am not going to change my mind. They call later in the week to cancel that week's lesson - Surprise! Then repeat the scenario for a couple weeks, until not bothering to call or show up. Now, a year later, they show up at the show with another barn (which has a reputation for letting any and all of the kids do anything they want). No surprise.

I just cannot phathom how when I tell people that I don't think it is safe for their child, that they question that! Especially when the parents know NOTHING about horses and we've had a reputation of turning out state and regional winners for decades. I would rather lose a customer than gain a lawsuit if I had backed down and the kid ended up getting hurt. I know there are lots of reasons people leave trainers, I just find this one so astounding.

[riverbell93]

I will start by saying that I in no way wish to offend those who ride once a week...rather, I would like to understand what you are looking for in a lesson and what you expect from your riding...and instructor....I've been told by older instructors who have been doing it for years that I need to care less b/c the typical once-a-weeker does not actually want to improve...they just want to spend an enjoyable hour once a week riding around on a safe mount. True?

I think many children might fit that description. When I was a kid, I wanted a horse. I didn't really want lessons, I wanted the horse. Now I take a lesson once a week and I don't really want to own a horse (now that I'd have to pay for it:)) but I do want to ride well, in a way I didn't particularly care about when I was a kid. When I was a kid, I assumed I'd ride just fine, thanks, if that horse would just be supplied by my parents.

About the 'care less' comment - I've noticed that the best teachers don't care less, but they do manage to separate their own egos from their students' performance. A student who repeatedly screws up a lead, for example, is just a question to be addressed - how can I explain this, do I need to focus on this or do I think it'll work itself out with more experience at feeling the lead? Their students' failures don't upset them because they recognize that A) the effort and focus a student brings to the lesson are not something they can control and B) the student does not have to explain to them the effort and focus they bring to the lesson. They're not God, they're not Mom, they're a slightly bossy partner.

But....how can a rider really have the strength or feel to do it right when they practice one hour a week?

Oddly, this realization - that muscle memory plays a huge part in riding and limited riding time means a slow process - has been a help for me. It takes off some of the pressure of "Why am I not doing better?" It will take longer, and some skills may not be accessible without more intense training.

Lastly, those of you who ride once a week....how far do you expect to go in your riding?

I don't know. I think you can't focus too much on what people expect/want/think at the start of a process. When I started, I just wanted to learn to ride enough to take a riding vacation. My instructors didn't ask why I started taking lessons and what I wanted to do - they seemed to assume that of course anyone would want to learn how to ride correctly. If they'd asked and then helpfully tried to outfit me for a vacation in a few short lessons, I would have missed out horribly. I think the best approach is to treat everyone as if they were serious about learning, if not about competition, and let them sort themselves out.

[Czar]

It is even more silly to think that in many cases it does not have to do with money. I just can not believe you are so dead set on the 'if they wanted to ride more they would' theory.

So very not true.

Some kids do not have parents that can afford the once per week, that alone is putting a huge strain on the family budget. The same kid might also have two parents that work full time jobs which makes it not a possibility for them to get to the barn any other days of the week to work to earn more lessons, etc.

When growing up I was always at most a once per weeker, sometimes once every other week when that was all we could afford.
It in no way meant I did not want to learn to be a better rider. It meant we were living with in our means to the best of our ability.

I meant it doesn't have anything to do with money in the way I would treat a client - I wouldn't teach a person with more money "better" than I would a once-a-weeker. To me, it's about commitment...not finances.

But having said that, I would spend more time on issues with someone who rode more frequently b/c I would be confident that they have the strength/experience to follow through. Basically, what I am saying (and what many have suggested) is that my expectations of a once-a-weeker are going to be less than my expectations of a 5 day a week rider and so, I would be teaching differently. From the responses, some see this as perfectly acceptable while I've read other comments that seem to infer that this is unfair.

That's what makes it so challenging - people think differently on the subject. Susie's parents watch a lesson with show kids and can't understand why if they are paying the same amount why little Susie isn't getting the same kind of instruction. LOADS of people are more demanding than their commitment allows them to be. You get it both ways...some people want you to get on their child (these are the types that are constantly adding their 0.02 from the ringside) because they value success while others would rather that Susie just have fun.

What parents need to realize is that an instructor cannot make your child strong enough, for example, to keep their leg in place...truthfully, you could explain it a million different ways (which I do), get on and show it yourself (which I do) but sometimes, it's best just to let it happen over time (which is often viewed by go-getter types as "giving up"). On the other side, I can't let little Susie ride around with her hands on the buckle as it is a safety issue so I AM going to get after her for the umpteenth time if I see she has let her reins get too long again. Am I making any sense - I feel like I am not quite getting across what I am trying to say.

Sorry...I won't budge on the commitment thing. I really do understand time/finance constraints and I am sorry for the kids whose parents can't/won't do more - but riding is a very intense sport and if you want to be good; you've GOT to put the time in. Now kids can't help it but I don't have much sympathy for an adult who wants to ride more but complains that they don't have time. Again, NO ONE has time - it's a sacrifice. And please don't misunderstand me - I'm not blaming an adult who can only ride once a week...it is a CHOICE. But I can't tolerate someone who is demanding but won't step up to the plate to do more.

horsecrazy - thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm a little nervous about allowing parents to give me their expectations as most of my once-a-weekers are nice city folk who don't have a clue about horses. I'd love to be able to just talk to the students but since the parents are paying, it is their say that I have to subsribe to.

katie16 - yikes! Someday, I would love to say to this type of parent "Why don't you get on then!" It's easy to be demanding when it's your two feet on the ground ;)

[gottagrey]

[QUOTE=Czar;3608907]Sorry...I won't budge on the commitment thing... Now kids can't help it but I don't have much sympathy for an adult who wants to ride more but complains that they don't have time. Again, NO ONE has time - it's a sacrifice. And please don't misunderstand me - I'm not blaming an adult who can only ride once a week...it is a CHOICE. But I can't tolerate someone who is demanding but won't step up to the plate to do more. QUOTE]

I'm thinking you need a reality check about ADULTS for some of us it is NOT a choice, for many of us its a passion but sadly we cannot do more riding. Here's my story. I have a horse sold my house, relocated so I could be closer -great got to ride nearly every day it was fabulous. Then I lost my job. I got another job my work day is now 1 hour longer, my commute is now at least 30 minutes longer each way. So now I'm in my car at 8:00am and home around 7:00pm.. Barn is usually closed up around 8:00pm. So for me it's not about CHOICE - my choice is to work to pay for my home, my car, my horse, my life.

[EventFan]

I think what it comes down to is recogniing who in your lesson program wants to compete/take it to a higher level, and who just wants to have fun safely on a horse. Not that you would interact differently with either; but rather you would KNOW how hard to push and what the expectations are.

I think (as others have suggested) you may want to make up a general survey for parents and riders and ask their goals. Some of them may surprise you, and you would have a good idea of how hard to push. If they are once/week and desire to show, then a sit down talk about expectations and how to reach goals is in order.

[bt]

Certain basics (balance, don't hang on the mouth, diagnols, leads) have to be learned by once a weekers for the sake of the horse and basic safety even if it is more than they think they need to know. Most once a weekers are not out to compete so they don't need/want to progress beyond a basically balanced position that does not interfere with the horse's movement. Some once a weekers at the barn I ride at are damn SCAREY,one on a large pony literally came within a foot of running into me and the horse I was handwalking over and never said a word. Others are not scarey but don't care if they ever jump higher than 18 inches, which is fine. You basically have to forgive and forget all faults that don't compromise the well being of horse and rider, just expect a safe happy lesson for horse and rider.

[Czar]

I'm thinking you need a reality check about ADULTS for some of us it is NOT a choice, for many of us its a passion but sadly we cannot do more riding. Here's my story. I have a horse sold my house, relocated so I could be closer -great got to ride nearly every day it was fabulous. Then I lost my job. I got another job my work day is now 1 hour longer, my commute is now at least 30 minutes longer each way. So now I'm in my car at 8:00am and home around 7:00pm.. Barn is usually closed up around 8:00pm. So for me it's not about CHOICE - my choice is to work to pay for my home, my car, my horse, my life.

You are missing the point...I am guessing that you do not show up on the one day a week you can ride and suggest to your trainer to school you over a 3ft course? I am sure you realize that that would be unfair for your horse and also not a fair chance for yourself considering you would be out of shape and out of practice.

This thread is about once-a-weekers...as in people who do not own their own horse but take weekly lessons. Some once-a-week adults want to be instructed in the same way as Joe Blow who owns/leases his own horse, rides 5/6 days a week and shows on the AA's - afterall, they are paying the same amount for lessons.

What I am saying is that if you can only commit to riding once a week, than your expectations better line up with that decision.

[magnolia73]

What I am saying is that if you can only commit to riding once a week, than your expectations better line up with that decision.

have you told them what to expect? I don't know why people assume riding is easy to learn and takes limited commitment, but they sure do. I also sometimes wonder if people don't realize how far off they are from looking like the good people. Maybe a regular video would do a good job at kindly making them face the reality that - no- they don't quite ride like the that 6 time a week rider.

i do think it is your job to shape expectations. If an adult says "can we school the 3' course today"- your job is to say "Not until you can get your leads and consistently and successfully jump 2'6 courses and keep your position consistently over 3' jumps in gymnastics. Right now, you have trouble controlling your body over cross rails."

[Whisper]

Some once-a-week adults want to be instructed in the same way as Joe Blow who owns/leases his own horse, rides 5/6 days a week and shows on the AA's - afterall, they are paying the same amount for lessons.

What I am saying is that if you can only commit to riding once a week, than your expectations better line up with that decision.

There are once-a-weekers who *DO* progress faster than people who own or lease a horse and ride 5-6 days a week (not in the AA's, but are you really mixing your adult re-riders and beginners in with them? That can work out, but it's extremely challenging to make a lesson plan to suit that wide a range of expertise in a group lesson).

I don't expect to progress as *FAST* or even necessarily to have the same ultimate goals as people who can ride more often (though I am riding a lot, just compressed into fewer days), or who have more talent, or whatever. I do expect that when it's my turn, my instructor will get the best work out of me that I'm capable of (if I'm in a group, usually I do private lessons since I feel I get more out of them).

The instructors I mentioned in my earlier post did me a huge favor, really, by letting me know that it wasn't working out, although I wish they'd been more tactful about it. The people I've worked with since (including now) have a lot more "tools" to help me improve.

I'm not currently a once-a-weeker, and I even managed to ride about 5 times a week while working full time and going to school full time. However, there have been times when I could not afford the time and/or money to ride more than once a week, or even had to stop riding entirely for a while. It didn't mean I wasn't dedicated, I just had to take care of the essentials first, and be responsible.

I'm not saying that your once-a-weekers will magically learn as quickly as the ones who ride 5 times a week, but they do deserve your full attention when it is their turn, and their best effort. Otherwise, you need to get them to work with someone who will, IMHO. To do less is to cheat them, and will make both you and them more frustrated. Do it tactfully, have a recommendation of someone to pass them on to who is *GOOD* with re-riders and adult beginners, or with kids who are less focused, or whatever, but don't just take their money and just be a "horse traffic controller" without doing your best to help them. :(

[findeight]

Possibly, you need to shape their expectations based on the time they spend in the saddle. They can be as committed as they like-or not-it can't overcome lack of practice no matter how good the intention.

I once had to sit and listen to some Mom have at the barn and the program because DD, a 2 time a week rider doing crossrails (badly) was being "held back" by being kept on school horses. So help me I couldn't keep my mouth shut and blurted out "why don't you buy her something if you don't want to ride the schoolies". Not well received. But why that women thought her kid could have access to privately owned show and sale horses just because the kids who were also owners and 5 to 6 day a week riders earned a few extra rides...:no:.

Anyway...some of these people just want to say they ride at prestigious and fancy barn when they really would fit, and progress faster, at a more recreationally oriented barn with more schoolies and less emphasis on advancing riders to horse shows and ownership. Perhaps it is up to the instructor to suggest a program that is a better fit then tear their hair out trying to teach a kid that may, or may not, want to be there.

[xabbracadabra]

Sounds to me like you should just stop teaching once a weekers and focus on the riders with their own horses who can ride more. It dosen't seem like you have the ability to tolerate non-perfection and realize that lessons are hard to learn once a week and they will never be the same as people who ride more

[ridingstudent]

I had to be a once-a-weeker growing up because that was all my parents could afford and i couldn't get a job yet. But the students attitude is everything though. Give them exercises to do at home to get stronger if they really want to get better. But if they really want to get better and they can't for some reason ride more offer them more, maybe catch rides, working around the barn, or a way to work of lessons groom for you for a couple extra lessons? If they really want to improve they will find a way to work harder and ride more, if not they can just do what ever. But i'm not sure if their is too much you can do to change their attitudes. If you get too frustrated with them not wanting to get better maybe ask them to train somewheres else, or just think about those lesson differently?

[Trevelyan96]

I started years ago as a once a weeker, and I somehow still managed to get enough skill in the first year that people were asking me to ride their horses. I do have to give a lot of that credit to my teacher at the time, who was absolutely the best riding instructor I've ever known. She improved all of us by the exercises she had us do, riding 2 point without hands, riding without stirrups, jumping cross rails and bounces without hands. Yes, it may take longer for the once a weeker to get to being competitive at 3', but for a motivated rider with a good teacher, it can be done.

I also remember an instructor that my daughter had who was a very talented rider, and she would get frustrated when daughter didn't get something right because she didn't understand the instruction clearly. As everything was so 'easy' for the teacher, she just assumed that my daughter wasn't 'trying'.

Three essential things a teacher should always ask:

1. What are your expectations.
2. Do you understand what I'm trying to teach you, and if not, what can I do to make it easier to understand.
3. Am I building skills in a logical, progressive way, so that each step is determined by the mastery of the one before it. (Just as you would do in training a horse.)

[gottagrey]

My post was in direct response to your

Again, NO ONE has time - it's a sacrifice. And please don't misunderstand me - I'm not blaming an adult who can only ride once a week...it is a CHOICE.

I was responding directly to your post- as a person who is passionate about horses but can't find as much time but has the desire I found this thinking (in reference to working adults) a bit unrealisitc -The Choice part I mean. You are obviously very passionate about teaching and wanting your students to excel. I think w/ them you will just have to try and have more patience - out of that patience a rising star(s) will surface - and that will be one of the fulfilling aspects of your job.

[saitou_amaya]

Some of the best instructors I have ever had yelled alot. My current instructor and I were just having a conversation about this yesterday. She would be brought to tears on a regular basis by her instructor and she brings me to tears too. But when someone is so frustrated to learn something, they eventually do. At least thats what seems to work for me.
I agree with the OP, you can only get to a certain level with once a week lessons. But dedication pays off. I work a really crappy job at Dairy Queen to pay for lessons 2-3 times a week.
But yeah, I seriously applaude any instructor who yells at their students until they get it right. Yay for yelling!!

[meupatdoes]

Back in the days when I taught some lessons, I had once-a-week kids who were just starting to ride.

Two of them were sisters who would ride back to back.

The one learned A LOT in two months. She could post independently, could ride with a little loop in the reins and no hold of mane or pommel, had a nice little two point, could steer around the arena, could aim over a rail on the ground in her two point, and one day when the pony suddenly broke into the canter she just sat up, pulled the outside rein, turned the pony into the wall to stop it, and then carried on trotting again as if nothing had happened.
Not bad for eight half-hour lessons.

The other sister was the most talentless inert lump to ever sit on an equine (sorry), and there was just NOTHING I COULD DO to get her to steer. Seriously, Jesus himself could not lay hands on this kid and get her to ride.
I would explain that she had to pull on the rein to steer, that if the pony didn't listen she needed to pull harder, that indeed, her hand had to MOVE SOMEWHAT in order to effect change in the direction of go. Finally I would just aim her at the wall and tell her to turn right or left upon reaching it. She and the pony would come to a halt, nose-touching the wall (which for the record is a nice visual metaphor for the results of my futile, hair pulling, leaping-about and dramatically-gesturing attempts to teach her to ride).
I gave up, and resorted to leading her around the trails for her half hour.

So, it kind of depends on the once-a-weeker.

[Event4Life]

I started riding as a once a weeker (as most do, I suppose) and eventually moved up to working at the barn 5 days a week so I could have an extra lesson. Anyway, that's not the point. I sold my mare in January, and since then have been lucky to ride even once a week. I think it's because I know I'm not going to progress in any significant way with once a week lessons, so what's the point? They are expensive (20 quid - that's about $40 for a group lesson), and time consuming - one hour lesson takes up an entire afternoon or evening. Its probably defeatist of me, but I can't justify spending that much time and money when I know I'm not going to improve enough...and there just doesn't seem a point.

I think some people are ok with spending the $40 to go out and have a good time, and that's fine. But it's frustrating for those who want to progress on 1x a week lessons to not get the attention/quality of instruction they deserve. If I were you, I'd sit down and see if you can group some of these people together. If you have a lot of riders at the same level but with different goals in mind, maybe see if you can split the "we just want to enjoy it" people and the "we actually want to accomplish something" people. Even if you can't physically split them into separate groups, you should be able to work out in your mind who falls into which category and adjust your teaching strategies accordingly.

One thing I love about the Edinburgh Uni Eq Club is they offer hacks every few weeks. I can go on these when I feel like it to get my "horsey fix". I can enjoy it without the constant pressure to improve, or match up to what my expectations were when I had a horse and was riding 6 days a week and taking lessons twice a week. It was hard for me not to do that on the "once a week" programme, even though I knew it wasn't really feasible. Maybe suggest to the riders who seem to just want to enjoy it that they could find a barn that will let them go out on hacks if you can't do that? They might discover they will enjoy riding more this way, and it'll make your life easier.

Also, on the physical strength thing. GUYS - there are other ways to get fit besides riding! I know this may be a news flash for some, but it's true. Just because someone only RIDES 1x a week does not mean they are only getting physical excersize 1x a week. Especially kids in school. Gym class? Sports after school? Soccer teams? I highly doubt not having the physical strength is the reason these kids aren't putting their legs in the right place, or whatever it may be.

[dogchushu]

And I will reiterate, it's not that these kids don't know their leads...for some reason, they may just not be trying that day. Maybe they had a long day at school, maybe they had a fight with their parents...I try to be accommodating and am NEVER belittling but I can't tailor my lessons based on everyone's personal mood that day, can I?

{Snip}

I can only explain things in so many ways and take so much time on one individual rider in a group lesson - believe me, I have done it before and had to face parents who thought I didn't pay enough attention to their child b/c another was having an obvious problem.


Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding you, but it seems your problem is that some of these once a week riders are fully capable of doing better, know what they need to do, but just aren't doing it--despite your efforts to tell them to do it right.

If that's the case, have you considered setting up exercises that show them why they need to do it correctly?

For example, if you're kids aren't paying attention to their leads, how about setting up an exercise where plotzing along on the wrong lead brings them to a really uncomfortable, awkward jump. Then don't correct them while they're riding it. Let them feel how awkward and uncomfortable it is. You want to be safe and not punish your horses, so keep the jumps low (or even use ground poles). Afterwards, explain that the wrong lead was what made that jump so difficult.

The reason I suggest this is that I've seen a lot of new riders who just don't understand that the instructor's suggests help them ride effectively and safely. They think it just makes them "look pretty" in the show ring. If they have no intention to show, they don't feel they need to be concerned. For example, my instructor can tell them to put their weight in their heels over and over again. But, for some riders, it's not until they experience how much more secure that makes them that they actually start doing it.

So, basically, let them learn from their mistakes why they shouldn't make those mistake (in a safe way, of course).

[cranky]

Also, on the physical strength thing. GUYS - there are other ways to get fit besides riding! I know this may be a news flash for some, but it's true. Just because someone only RIDES 1x a week does not mean they are only getting physical excersize 1x a week. Especially kids in school. Gym class? Sports after school? Soccer teams? I highly doubt not having the physical strength is the reason these kids aren't putting their legs in the right place, or whatever it may be.

Very well said, I was thinking the same thing. I'm a re-rider, I moved up to NH from NYC three years ago. Returning to riding was always been my intention, but I wanted to get in shape first. I didn't want my riding to be all about how out of shape I was, I wanted to be in the right place from which I could work on riding. So I finally started (or re-started) running, started 2x person training and got reasonably fit. Once I felt that I had gotten to a good place where I could really concentrate on learning how to ride again and on progressing on a horse, then I started riding. Of course, I'm now riding about 4x a week (although some weeks it's 3x and some it's 5x, so it varies), but I'm really only having one lesson (and the first few weeks it was only once a week). But I still run, take spinning classes and have 2 personal training (strength training sessions a week). I think that it all helps me be a better rider overall.

Edited to add: frankly for me (and my body), riding isn't actually enough exercise for me. I HAVE to be doing some other stuff to be fit. But that may just be my stubborn body.

[Trot Left]

Czar - with that type of "attitide" you have I would not want you teaching me or our once-a-weekers.

OAW (once a weekers) that are in my barn are AWESOME riders, they have to same goals as someone who rides every day instructed or like many rider NO instruction. Just because these OAW do not have the fiancial mean to be YOUR Olympian does not mean that they cannot achieve what the next person is goaling for - really.

I own my own horses BUT I run a 22++ stall barn M-Sunday 24/7 - 365! Some weeks I can only ride/be a OAW and take a lesson only - now because I do that your telling me that I may be a fustrate towards you? That I am probably lazy and have no strength because I don't ride every single day?

I find it kind of funny that you posted this thread considering the last 4 shows I have been too, on my really tough barn schedule I did not get many rides in but I got GOOD training rides in - limited and I seem to always out shine and out ride the riders that I know ride every single day - even on christmas! The OAW at the barn who again don't have the means to have their own horse or ride every day also outshine the daily riders.

I think my trainer teaches us AND TREATS us all the same whether we show or not, whether we have goals or not and I am thankful I am not riding with someone who thinks OAW are really nothing to the horse world. Sad, sad thinking!

[tidy rabbit]

Czar,

"This too shall pass." As they say.

You'll not have this job forever and you wont have these customers forever. Just give them the best you can give them each time.

Keep working towards your own goals and look at this as a stepping stone to get to the next level.

Maybe you could try giving them some homework, like asking them to get the book "Yoga for Equestrians" which really helps with "off horse" exercises for strength and balance.

When all else fails, just lower your expectations of them and know that you will advance to another teaching job where you get to have more dedicated riders, but right now you're paying your dues.

[Trixie]

Out of 50 students, it seems maybe 2 or 3 have the actual tenacity to stick with it.

This is probably true of any sport.


Do I need to explain exactly the situation so people aren't confused? I know these riders know their correct leads....they just aren't concentrating enough. Yes, there is a lot to think about - if you don't want to think that hard....don't ride.

Are you genuinely sure about that? I’ve OFTEN, and not just in riding, seen teachers think that people are “not concentrating enough” or “not thinking hard enough.” Often, it’s because the instructor isn’t EXPLAINING something properly, or because it’s truly beyond them. Furthermore, what might seem fairly simple for YOU to feel, like a missed lead, may NOT be easy for your client to feel. Especially in riding, when something is extremely subjective and they might not have the muscle memory. Belittling them all as absentminded/not trying is really never going to help, and it’s distasteful.

Let me put it like this: I’ve been riding, more than once a week, for a very long time. Does my trainer still have to remind me to get my shoulders back and my hands up? YEP. Should he have to by now? Of course not. I know it’s a problem, and I know it’s my fault. I know that there are times when I make the same mistakes over and over again. I’m also an amateur rider that’s a desk jockey. I ask that he be patient about my mistakes, and understand that while the sport occupies most of my free hours, I’m not going to improve as quickly or as consistently as when I was a 17-year-old kid riding three horses a day. It’s his job to guide me, and help me set realistic goals for myself and my horse.

If he can’t manage to understand that and therefore treat me with some level of respect, I would find a new trainer. I’m extremely blessed that mine has the patience of a saint. You said before that it’s not about “respect” but really, when you’re acting on something to the effect of “sorry, but I’m giving up on you” – really, that’s pretty disrespectful. Your posts are coming across as extremely frustrated – is that coming across when you teach as well?


I can't tailor my lessons based on everyone's personal mood that day, can I?

Um, yes. You CAN. It’s a part of teaching. You don’t have to coddle them, but you do need to understand that, just like horses, people have “days.” If you were having a frustrating, horrible school on a horse just hacking and your original plan for the day was to jump a few 4’ courses, you’d alter your schooling plan, wouldn’t you?

This is my point for those of you who are deliberately misunderstanding me....

This part of your attitude might, just MIGHT be the problem. I think most people are genuinely trying to be helpful.


I've noticed that the best teachers don't care less, but they do manage to separate their own egos from their students' performance. Their students' failures don't upset them because they recognize that A) the effort and focus a student brings to the lesson are not something they can control and B) the student does not have to explain to them the effort and focus they bring to the lesson. They're not God, they're not Mom, they're a slightly bossy partner.

This is an EXCELLENT way of putting things.

It might help if you asked your students to write out their goals, and then sat down and came up with a plan. As someone else said, it’s your job right now to help “shape” their expectations.

[trubandloki]

Very well said Trixie!

[jophoto]

This just reminds me how thankful I am that the stable I do lessons at is very relaxed and they understand this is my extracurricular fun. I run a stressful business especially this time of year, and they don't treat me like dirt when I have certains times of the year that I can only make it up to the stable once a week, and they are very understanding that I am the biggest clumsiest oaf on horseback, and can't make my body work as quickly as my 9 and 12-year-olds do (i.e., trying to keep my balance AND kicking the horse at the same time - taken me months to figure out how to do that :lol:). Heck, they are even very polite with the fact that my son takes 3 months off of riding per year to play football. I'm polite with the fact that if they can't fit him back in the lesson schedule, he can have my spot - I respect their business as they do mine.

I'm having a frustrating time right now picking up the correct leads with my new horse. She's PERFECTION on trails but has never been a "ring" horse so between my clumsiness and her being green in the ring, they are VERY patient with me.... but also push me where I need to be pushed (like yesterday, finally being able to get past my mental block since I had fallen and did 2-foot jumps last night, hope to progress beyond that soon...)

Reading your argument makes me seriously thankful that my teacher is so relaxed. Of course, when she knows a student is serious about showing, she will teach them and work with them in a serious manner (i.e., my daughter is showing on Sunday, and she made sure last night, she was ready for it...), but she also understands we are doing this for FUN not to be belittled or be resented. :yes: If you don't keep the fun in this for your students, they will grow to hate you or this sport.

The reality for me is, if I could ride every day, I would, but instead, my priorities are - my husband, my kids, my business, and then comes fun... If horses were my first priority, I would be one of your serious students, but after dealing with all those other things that come first, I have to not be so hard on myself for not being perfection in the saddle, and my teacher is very understanding of that. All I can do is try, and all she can do is guide me.

Czar - how old are you and do you have kids? That may explain your lack of patience - not trying to be mean, I just know I was very different 14 years ago than I am today as far as patient level and/or understanding people. I hated when people said that to me, but looking back, yeah, hindsight... ETA: just saw you are 26... I'm only 6 years older, but have lived a lifetime since I had married and had my first child at 20....

[WW_Queen]

Yeah, that sucks. It's hard when you have the mixed bag of people who are just there for fun, the people who want to learn but aren't naturally/physically capable of doing what you're asking, students who are committed but don't have a car/aren't allowed the extra barn hours/have children and a family at home/etc can't live up to what you see as potential.

I think you need to take teaching a little less personally. :) Your mom is right, not every student can/will/wants to be an Olympian! Focus your efforts on the students that DO have the time/money/sheer dedication/whatever and just try to "let go" of the frustration at the kids or students that aren't on that level.

I was a once-a-weeker when I was 11-14. Lucky for me my Mom rode too, we lived in a big city but drove the hour out of town every Saturday for lessons.

I have owned horses for 10+ out of the 17 years I have been riding, but I can't imagine disparaging those who are weekly riders. *shrug* It is what it is, don't lose sleep over it! :)

[lcw579]

My daughter, who rides more than once a week, put it this way when we were talking about her friend who is a once a weeker: "For me, riding is what I DO, for her it is just another after school activity."

This may sum up the attitude of the girls you are having trouble with. Some just want to come, have fun, check it off this week's activity's list and go on their merry way.

Now my daughter did start out as a once a weeker but once she proved she was serious about it - I made the effort to get her more riding time and now she's working towards "earning" her own horse in the Spring. I think it is the attitude that makes all the difference in their work ethic.

[ccoronios]

Back in my lesson days, once a week was all my parents could afford. Maybe this is a different kind of barn than the one where I rode? I would have lived there if I could have, but was happy for my once-a-week lesson. I wasn't aiming for the Olympics, but did learn the right was to do things, and those lessons opened the door to a wonderful lifelong association with horses.

HA - I KNEW if I kept looking, I'd see you again sooner or later!!!
I hope all is well with you - and I'm glad to see that horses are still in your life. I'll PM to catch you up on what I know (you probably know it all, since you live there and I get it all at least third-hand!).



Yes, many of us who are now looking at senior discounts started our love affair with horses as "once a weekers". Some of us taught once a weekers for years. Some of THEM showed and competed fairly successfully - at a certain level. And had

[lonewolf]

Well, I have been on both sides of this coin and I realize that it can be incredibly frustrating for both the student and the instructor.

When I was a kid and a teenager, I was a once-a-week lesson rider. This was all that my family could afford (really, it was more than they could afford), and we lived in the city an hour away from the barn. I loved the riding with all my heart, and I desperately wanted to do more. I read every horse book so many times that I was the pony club regional quiz star for several years running. I taped every televised show jumping competition and watched them over and over and over. I LIVED for my weekly riding lesson, and looked forward to it so much it hurt. Yet, sadly, I couldn't ride very well. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't always make my muscles and my body respond right. I didn't have an eye, couldn't keep my leg in place, couldn't manage my body. I wanted to ride as well as my friends, who had money and horses. I wanted to show. But all my desire couldn't make me better. I know my coach was just as frustrated as I was, and I think he gave up on me too, and eventually disintegrated into yelling. I remember one year when I was riding an old ugly horse with no lead changes at the local level hunters, and it was hell. I got no ribbons, and I couldn't get the changes no matter how much I tried, and how hard my instructor yelled. Looking back, he (the instructor) didn't do a great job, but I also know how frustrating I must have been.

Eventually, I got better. I got old enough to take buses out to the homes of other kids who could give me lifts to the barn. I was able to lease a horse. I became a working student for a good 'A' circuit barn. I was given the job of teaching the riders who the main instructors didn't want: the ones who weren't serious, or the ones who just couldn't seem to make any progress. It was hard. My 'main' student was an older overweight rider who took up riding after retirement age. She would never canter (had fallen off and had a couple of bad accidents, and wasn't safe). She owned a saintly QH who ignored her and, at his most co-operative, would only shuffle along at the slowest trot imaginable. Of course, I got to teach her. TRY making those lessons interesting. Yet she wanted to be taught, wanted to feel like she was making progress. So, I gave her lessons on the track, took her into the dressage ring and gave her basic dressage tests. The culmination of her riding career was a walk-trot class at a show. Teaching her was torturous, but I am glad I did it. All I could do was help her as much as I could, and not ask more of her than she could do. It was all that could be done. She really appreciated it too -- she has now quit riding, and will always love me and be grateful to me.

I realize that what you wrote was a vent. You have a really tough job -- one of the tougher ones in the business. It is really hard teaching the same thing week after week after week without seeing any progress -- harder than most people will ever know without trying to do it. However, sometimes it does have its rewards, and you do really have the ability to make a positive difference in the lives of people to whom many instructors won't give the time of day. Some of them will get better, buy horses, show, and reward your patience. Some will reward it in other ways: with their gratitude. Others will just try it.

[Charisma]

"The student is only as good as the teacher"

[Czar]

Just because these OAW do not have the fiancial mean to be YOUR Olympian does not mean that they cannot achieve what the next person is goaling for - really.



I guess you missed my post where I defined my expectations as concerning commitment NOT finances.

Anyway, meupatdoes...I think we may have had the same student! :lol: Like I said, I did start this thread as a vent after a particular heinous lesson night - and like anything in life I've had some great lesson nights since and some not-so-great ones.

dogchushu....the only thing about your suggestion is I would have to submit my school horses to the "awkward, uncomfortable" jump as well. My mom is always getting after me about how I baby the school horses but we have really nice ponies and horses and I just feel so bad for them sometimes :lol:

[Czar]

Um, yes. You CAN. It’s a part of teaching. You don’t have to coddle them, but you do need to understand that, just like horses, people have “days.” If you were having a frustrating, horrible school on a horse just hacking and your original plan for the day was to jump a few 4’ courses, you’d alter your schooling plan, wouldn’t you?


Yes, but I don't ride 4 horses at once.

If I have 3 other kids in a lesson and Susie's having an off day...I have to go on for the sake of the other 3.

Remember that LOTS of parents consider their weekly riding lesson right up there with their weekly swim or piano lesson and if I ever suggested booking a private lesson, for example, to work on something we didn't have time to address during their regular lesson; they would look at me like I grew two heads.

I cannot change my group lesson plan b/c one individual is having a bad day. It is my job to motivate my students but I'm not a miracle worker - there has to be some sort of co-operation and willingness to try on behalf of the student.

[Czar]

Czar,

"This too shall pass." As they say.

You'll not have this job forever and you wont have these customers forever. Just give them the best you can give them each time.

Keep working towards your own goals and look at this as a stepping stone to get to the next level.

Maybe you could try giving them some homework, like asking them to get the book "Yoga for Equestrians" which really helps with "off horse" exercises for strength and balance.

When all else fails, just lower your expectations of them and know that you will advance to another teaching job where you get to have more dedicated riders, but right now you're paying your dues.

Words well spoken...and honestly, I do have some great students that are a joy to teach.

[Czar]

Now my daughter did start out as a once a weeker but once she proved she was serious about it - I made the effort to get her more riding time and now she's working towards "earning" her own horse in the Spring. I think it is the attitude that makes all the difference in their work ethic.

What a nice mom!

I feel for some of my girls (and boys) that want it so badly but their parents can't/won't do any more.

Funny story...I had one little girl come for her first lesson EVER last week (she's 7) and while she was brushing, I thought it would be a good time to clean up my worth-his-weight-in-gold ancient beginner pony so I clipped his bridle path. I saw her pick up the clump of hair and put it in her pocket :lol: It was adorable.

[Whisper]

If I have 3 other kids in a lesson and Susie's having an off day...I have to go on for the sake of the other 3. <snipped>

I cannot change my group lesson plan b/c one individual is having a bad day. It is my job to motivate my students but I'm not a miracle worker - there has to be some sort of co-operation and willingness to try on behalf of the student.

Actually, I've been in several group lessons with mixed rider levels, for both dressage and jumping (in beginner ones as the most skilled riders, as the worst rider with a bunch of more advanced people, and occasionally in the middle). The instructor was able to give each of us exercises and instructions that were suited/tailored to us (and the particular horse we were riding). So, "Susie" might be directed to do ground poles or an 18" cross-rail when it was her turn, "Jenny" and "Beth" might do 2'6" on one line and one diagonal, and "David" might get to do the same fences as Jenny but add a couple of 3' fences, or use the same fences, but do a rollback and bending line over them to increase the difficulty. Susie might have some basic position things that the instructor has to really get after her for. Jenny and Beth have basically good positions, hands, and releases, but need some refinements (slightly different for each). David is doing great, but the horse he's riding is a little green, and the instructor has him change some things to better influence the horse.

It's *TOUGH* teaching a mixed class and/or tailoring the lesson to each rider, but I know that it can be done effectively. Perhaps the other instructors at your barn, or a couple of the experienced instructors here, can give you some tips for individualising your lesson plans a little more, without them becoming incoherent and not being able to go in and stick reasonably well with a plan?

[enjoytheride]

I agree with Whisper. I've taken lessons with other people jumping 3 feet while I was on a green horse who was just starting over fences. It worked smoothly for everyone.

As an instructor its all about being capable of changing your lesson plan. Maybe somebody doesn't get something, or their horse is fresh and being an ass, or they had a bad fall last week. You can't just barrel through your lesson without making adjustments. It's awesome to have a plan for what you want to work on that day, but be flexible so you can meet each horse and rider's needs. If you had a 4 stride line set up and someone's horse is barreling around out of control you can change your lesson plan by having the other people work the 4 stride line and the out of control horse will trot into the second fence, jump it, stop at the wall, back up 4 strides, then trot around to a crossrail or the other fence backwards.

As a rider I find it easier to work through my frustrations with someone who isn't getting aggravated and pissed at me or thinks that I'm ignoring them, especially when I'm really trying as hard as I can but i'm having trouble with my horse or the exercise. Some people just need a different approach.

[indygirl2560]

I used to ride only once a week, but only for monetary reasons; I've always wanted to ride 7 days a week! Right now, I only take lessons twice a week, but ride more on my own or with barn friends, again, because of money. I think, when I only rode once a week, it was just because I wanted to learn how to ride and my parents wouldn't drive my to the barn more, so my riding was limited. Thank God I can drive now! I wish I could take lessons more days a week, but it costs so much, and during the school year, I can't work as much, so I can't pay for extra lessons(since my parents wouldn't pay for anything to do with horses or riding):mad:

And as far as trainers teaching a mixed leveled group of riders....my trainer manages! Usually certain lesson times are for certain levels of riders, like Thursdays at 6 are for Jr/Am's and at 7:30 for advanced. Most of the people taking lessons from my trainer are at least competent enough to do basic lateral movements(shoulder/haunches in/out, leg yields, counter bends and canter, etc). So, usually the lessons start out with flat work and move on to jumping. My Thursday lesson has two dressage riders that leave after the flat so they don't have to jump. The jumps start low and get higher, so if you can't jump as high as someone else in the lesson, you leave when my trainer raises the jump past your level. However, if someone who's really a beginner shows up at the advanced time, usually one of the college students who teach, will give them a lesson in the smaller arena. My trainer's methods haven't failed yet, so I know it's possible!

[Courbet]

Personally, I've been doing the once-a-week thing for the past 9 years, and I've improved my riding on a consistent basis. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and as long as you don't necessarily have incredibly high hopes for your showing career, it's a perfectly acceptable method of learning how to ride. Then again, I ride 2 to 3 times a week, 5 days a week in the summer (plus competitions,) so I can't be completely one sided. Even if I were to strictly ride once weekly all year round, many people do it, not because of a lack of determination, or will to learn, but because of a lack of time. I think it all depends on what your goals are, how your trainer works with you, and how hard you push yourself.

[Czar]

I agree with Whisper. I've taken lessons with other people jumping 3 feet while I was on a green horse who was just starting over fences. It worked smoothly for everyone.




Hmmm....that is interesting - in my experience, mixed lessons haven't worked all that well...plus, I've had parents annoyed that someone in a lesson was below their child's level and holding up the lesson.

This is a riding school - lessons are scheduled by the hour and paid by the hour so I don't have a 3 hour block of time that I can work with where people just come and go. We do this for the people who own/lease sometimes but I just don't see how that would work with once-a-weekers...not knowing who was going to show up when would cause a REAL problem with who was going to ride who.

We really try to keep abilities classed together in our group lessons - I can't imagine trying to do a beginner with someone jumping small courses...I feel like kids would be standing around too often. Plus, I don't really like the idea of a youngster who can't steer all that well in with someone who is cantering around...especially indoors where there isn't much room. Seems like an accident waiting to happen to me.

[trubandloki]

Hmmm....that is interesting - in my experience, mixed lessons haven't worked all that well...plus, I've had parents annoyed that someone in a lesson was below their child's level and holding up the lesson.



The more you response the more it appears the problem is more with you than with your once a weekers.

There is no reason a lower level kid should hold up the rest of the lesson or even give the impression they are holding up the rest of the lesson. I think some what mixed helps everyone. The lower level kids learn by seeing the upper level kids do things and the upper level kids learn stuff they missed along the way as it is explained to the lower level kids.

It does not take a three hour window to handle this multi-level lesson thing.

Think about what you do when one of the lesson ponies is acting like an idiot. I assume you give that kid things to do that will help her riding that pony, but maybe not to the level that the other kids are doing that week because their ponies are all behaving.

[Trixie]

I cannot change my group lesson plan b/c one individual is having a bad day.

Yes, you can.

While it may not be feasible to put a beginner who can hardly steer in with riders capable of 2' and whatnot - I agree, that can be dangerous - you CAN say, set an X-rail for Susie-who-is-having-a-bad-day while letting the other riders jump 2'6", or come up with a grid or some flatwork exercises that everyone can do without making Susie feel bad.

A huge part of teaching IS flexibility, if you maintain this rigidity and attitude you're going to fail as a teacher and lose clients, because no one wants to ride with someone who makes them feel awful for having a lousy day, or who pushes them in ways they can't be pushed.

It's an enormous part of a teacher's job to help people re-evaluate when things aren't going right, and to take it back to a level that the student understands.

You will have to say no to parents sometimes. It's part of being a trainer. You should be able to clearly explain yourself, and you should also have the ability to be polite-but-firm when they just.aren't.getting.it.

I'd rather see a trainer who has the ability to say no to overzealous parents than one who panders to them and damages or "gives up" on the students.

[Mendin Fences]

There's a girl who takes lessons at the barn I board who's been coming once a week for years. She mentioned something about being in college last year and everyone who's known her was shocked to realize how long she's been around. She is a very timid rider, and apparently has not improved much in the past 10 yrs (I've been there 2 yrs) and no one really noticed. It's kind of sad actually.
The instructors dread teaching her because it's like instructing a wall. She seems to put in no effort to make the horse do what it's supposed to do, and it's frustrating just to watch. She's perfectly happy just to come for her hour lessons week after week though. I guess it just depends on the person.

[enjoytheride]

My mixed group lessons were at a lesson barn in an hour time slot surrounded by other lessons. Worked fine, there shouldn't be any reason a parent is angry because it doesn't hold up a lesson. Also, perhaps you can remind the parent that one time her child might be having a bad day too.

[jaslyn1701]

I started taking lessons at 50. At first, I would ride my lesson and maybe, if I was lucky, get to practice ride once a week. Lessons were difficult physically because it took me a while to warm up and for my muscles to remember what they were supposed to do. The first half of lessons were usually pretty awful. A few months ago I made a decision that I HAD to ride at least 3 times a week if I was going to get better. I ride on the night before my lesson - sometimes its only 30 minutes, but it helps my body remember what it's supposed to do when we get to the lesson. I also make sure I am mounted at least 15 minutes before the lesson to warm up on my own (2 reasons - don't think my trainer should have to use her lesson time to watch me w/t/c both ways to warm up and again, it helps me physically get ready for the rest of the lesson). The other advantage to the extra saddle time is the mare that I ride - I get to ride the same horse all the time, so it has helped us ride together better - we are more of a team. Not too long ago, I had big issues with stamina, I would just wear out before the lesson was over. I asked my trainer what to do - two point and no stirrup work - so that's what I did during my practice rides, and still do. And it has made a world of difference. I get more out of my lessons and my trainer has somebody she can actually teach, instead of going over the same basic thing over and over - except I still can't do spirals dammit. Have also discovered that the better I am, the more fun lessons are. I am jumping x rail courses - planning to show in November, but my trainer comes up with courses that have roll backs, funky angles, turns and all kinds of things - it's hard, but it's fun and helps me mentally - by the time I get to the show, with the course laid out in outside, diagonal, outside, diagonal, or a variation of the same - it will help me relax.

[Whisper]

Yep, I think perhaps the parents are trying to take advantage/run you over because you are younger. Definitely let them know in a polite, tactful, professional way when their expectations don't fit the group format. If necessary, pull in one of the older trainers for the conversation.

Anyway, I'm not saying your a bad instructor, but being able to be flexible in your lesson plans, and being able to handle a mixed group, are skills that will serve you well in the years ahead. :D