Need some hand holding...3 old friends slated for the bridge tomorrow

[Leah A]

Hello all,

Just need to talk a bit with people who understand...just got off the phone after making the appointment to say goodbye to 3 of my oldest and dearest friends. It is time. The day tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful, sunny and warm (the following days are slated to start getting colder and Alberta winters are severe)...but I am so sad and will miss them dearly. Although I know it is the kindest and best thing for them, I feel as though I am also betraying them (despite knowing in my head that it is right, my heart is hurt) They have given so much and asked for nothing in return and are such beautiful, loving souls.

Foxy is my first horse, we grew up together. I thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She is worth her weight in gold and nothing could have made me sell her. Incredibly honest and giving, she carried me through Pony Club and, in her retirement, was the kind of horse who was safe to put anyone on. She put up with all kinds of riders patiently and could be counted on to bring them all safely home. Just last month she gave the last of her pony rides. Foxy now has Cushings, and, although an air fern her whole life, is no longer maintaining weight, and has arthritis. She is moving slow and stiff but still nickers everytime she sees me. She is 25, a redhead, and ready to go home.

Carleton was the horse that taught me to really ride. My absolute best friend, he brought me through some incredibly tough times as well. He was an open jumper and also showed the upper level hunters throughout North America. Kind, loving, sensitive, and willing to please he was still tricky to ride. I learned to to be very accurate, forgiving, and bang on as he needed an almost perfect ride. He always met me at the fence sweetly asking for attention or a job to do and loves beer and nachos. Carleton earned every minute of his retirement and was often the shoulder I turned to to cry on or just for someone to talk to. An in-operable sinus tumour has cut off the air through his left nostril and is beginning to affect the right, always a hard keeper, no amount of feeding is helping him to carry weight any longer. He is also 25, 17.1 hh of handsome TB chestnut, and ready to go home.

Their resting place is dug and ready...down in the sun by their favorite place beside the pond...they will go together as they've lived together for so many years. It is time (but so hard).

To top it off my old dog is ready too. 15 years of utter devotion and love, her gentle soul says its time. In-operable mammary tumours and age have made the decision for us. She will not want to leave our sides but will be happy to be able to run again. I know she will be waiting for us and will take up her customary place at the side of the ones she loves the most as soon as we see her again. Mackenzie could not have been a better, more devoted, loving friend.

Looks like it will the the three of them. I don't know how to get through tomorrow...but I will and will remember all the incredible times they shared with me. I will honour their spirits and send them off with love.

Thank you for listening.

[hollyhorse2000]

I have no wisdom except to say I'm very sorry it's coming all at once. From what you wrote, it does sound like you're doing the right thing at the right time.

[ChocoMare]

Oh sweetie :cry: ((((((((((((( Very big hugs to you ))))))))))))))))

You are in no way betraying them! To the very contrary: you are honoring them and giving them the gift of a peaceful and pain-free crossing....together! That is the ultimate act of love and honor.

:sadsmile:

[AEM74]

:cry: That's an awful lot to handle all at one time. I'm convinced we'll get to see our most special friends again some day. Hang in there. You'll certainly be in my thoughts and prayers.

[MistyBlue]

My deepest sympathies for your upcoming losses...and my deepest respect for doing right by all 3.

[gieriscm]

I am so sorry. It sounds like it's the right decision for each of them, but it's never easy.

(((***HUGS***)))

[monstrpony]

Whew. What a lot to bear on one day. Or, look at all of the gifts you are giving--freedom from discomfort and another difficult winter, freedom from the fear of being without their best equine friend, and the wonderful freedom of the Bridge.

You will be in our thoughts tomorrow. I wish there were a gift we could give to you to lighten the load tomorrow, beyond the reassurance that you are doing what is best. Take a deep breath, grit your teeth, and carry on, and come one cold, wintery afternoon in the near future, you can sit by a warm fire with a nice toddy and revel in the memories, knowing that you don't have to worry about how they're faring in the cold.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

[2DogsFarm]

You've made an incredibly hard and incredibly right decision
That won't make it any easier to deal with, but please know that we at COTH have your back {hugs}

[arabhorse2]

Giving just one back his freedom was hard enough, Leah. I can't imagine letting 3 of them go at one time.

You have my deepest sympathy and respect. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Catalina]

:cry:

You are absolutely doing the right thing. Having the two horses go at the same time will make it so much easier on them and ultimately on you too. Hang in there, it is never easy.

[3horsemom]

oh my gosh! i am so sorry.
although i have no words to make what you are about to go thru any easier, you and yours will be in my prayers.

[clivers]

You have my sympathy AND my respect for making such a difficult decision and putting your own sadness aside to do the right thing for your friends. My thoughts are with you!
(((hugs))))
Gabby

[AnnaCrew]

I just have no words... :( Hugs to you, you will be in our minds...

[Saidapal]

I also felt like I was betraying my 28 year old mare after spending 23 years together, and just this morning I was telling my sister that it's still weird to not see her out there in my pasture. I stopped feeling her presence the day she died. Haven't even seen her ghost like I did with my cat the first few days after he died. We had our chance to say goodbye and she must be happy. She's probably running with her best friends who have already crossed and is having the time of her life, young, fit and beautiful again. Helps me know I did right by her.

God bless you, remember you have hugs and jingles waiting for you and fiends ready to listen when you need an ear.

You should be able to feel our support tomorrow since we will all be sending it your way.

[Coreene]

Applause to you for giving your three friends the most gracious gift of all. And giant hugs to you as well. :sadsmile:

[Hidden]

Sorry for you to miss them, but thankful that your animals have such a loving and good friend. They will be waiting for you when it is your turn.

[dawglover]

:cry: Never an easy decision to make. My thoughts are with you.
((Hugs))

[Holly Jeanne]

Your post broke my heart. You have my sincerest sympathies. :cry:

[PaulaM]

my thoughts and prayers will be with you.

[Kareen]

Very sorry to hear you are going through this right now. But you are doing the right thing and we have to be greatful for being given choices and all the time we've had with them.
I wish you lots of strength and may they all run over greener fields resp. in greener woods than here on Earth tomorrow. Big hug flying your way!

[WTC]

So very sorry...take care.

May I Go?

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and living light.

I want to go
I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears
I'll not be far,
I promise that, and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

---Written for a beloved pet & friend by Susan A. Jackson

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

You are absolutely doing the kindest and most loving thing for them. Better to go in peace, before suffering, and knowing they are loved.

Not that that makes it any easier. Big hugs. And please, know you are not alone, sadly. We understand.

[BeastieSlave]

Wow, it sure sounds like the right thing to do, but it's not going to be easy. I'm so sorry {{{{HUGS}}}} :(

[Trying]

god bess. It hurts to put down a live loving being but there are things worse than death - a painful existance is the biggest. hug yourself and love their gifts to yo.

[twofatponies]

I can't even read the whole thread; it will make me cry. Big hugs, and know that you're doing the right thing. :(

[Frank B]

My Mother had this read at her funeral. Somehow it seems appropriate of your three friends. They are fortunate to have had you caring for them.


Miss Me, But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road, And the sun has gone down for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room. Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me for a little but not too long, And not with your head hung low.
Remember the love that we once shared. Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take, And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan, A step on the long road home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart, Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in going good deeds. Miss me, but let me go.

Don't spend too much time in mourning, Tears are for the sad.
I left to be with my Maker, And this should make you glad.
Don't waste your time in grieving, No need to feel distress,
I'm tired of life's frustrations. I had to get some rest.

Don't vest yourself with questions, Or try to reason why.
Life here for me was ended, It came my time to die.
Don't forsake the love I gave you, Feed it with tender care,
Grow it with devotion, And spread it everywhere.

Don't fret because my leaving, Came in such a way,
We'll have another meeting, In God's eternal day.

Anon

[Pb]

Bless you for your kind courage --- (((((hugs))))

[SuperSTB]

You will have company- our rescue will be crossing the rainbow bridge tomorrow too.

It's not easy but it's the right thing, well that's what I've been telling myself all day anyway...

hugs to you

[Bluehorsesjp]

Leah,
I am so sorry. You are doing right by them for sure, but that doesn't make it any easier.
(((((((((Big Hugs))))))))))

[gingersnap]

Please know that I will keep you and your beloved friends in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. The good Lord will carry you.

[shea'smom]

I am facing that same thing, three old ones. Not yet, but some day.
I love this poem.

Somewhere, somewhere.....in time's own space
there must be some sweet pastured place
where creeks sing on... and tall trees grow
some paradise where horses go.
For by the love that guides my pen,
I know great horses live again.

I framed this poem with a picture of my 30+ year old rescue that I put down in June, before the days got unbearably hot for her.
We are brave, but we are hurting.
I hope you feel hundreds of hugs coming your way tomorrow, from all of us.

[Chester's Mom]

Your courage to face losing all three at once, for THEIR best interest without regard to your own heartbreak has me in awe. The bestest Cairn in the world (and the toughest old guy imaginable) left us last week..... he'll never see his 17th birthday. I cannot imagine having that multiplied by three.

Blessings to you and yours, and you will be in my thoughts tomorrow.

[asb_own_me]

So much to bear all at once. My thoughts will be with you. I'm so sorry.

[marta]

i have no doubt that you're doing the right thing for your friends.

[asb_own_me]

This has been my favorite for years. I've seen different versions but this is the one I have:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the autumn rain

When you awake in the morning hush
I am the sweet uplifting rush
Of birds circling in flight
I am the stars that shine at night

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep

[Rubyfree]

My sympathy is with you in this difficult time. You will be in the thoughts & hearts of many whom you do not know, but who willingly share your grief.

[arabhorse2]

This one's my favorite:

Crossing the Bridge


I stood beside your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.


I whinnied to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you. I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."


I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.


I walked with you toward the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I put my head against you, nickered and said, "It's me."


You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.


It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."


You sat there very quietly, then smiled; I think you knew.
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.


And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll gallop across to greet you and we'll stand there, side by side.


I have so many things to show you, there's so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.

[Lucassb]

I truly believe the greatest gift we can give to the animals that we love so much, is the opportunity for a peaceful passing, and freedom from the things that ail them at the end.

Many hugs to you as you offer this final gesture of love to your beloved companions.

[East Coaster]

Huge hugs to you. My thoughts will be with you.

[jeano]

In early August I had to quit a job, very traumatic, the week after that our angel dog, a 6 yr old collie, was ill with what proved to be swiftly terminal liver disease. I wanted all of my animals to have the gift of dying with us at home, but our horse vet could not make a farm call the day that I knew Laurel needed to go...so we took her to the vet in town, who was gracious enough to give her the shot out in the parking lot with us holding her in our arms. I got two new puppies a few days later, both came down with something enteric, possibly parvo, and certainly contracted after their first shot and before coming to our home. I tried nursing two desperately ill pups, one died, the one that seemed stronger took a turn for the worse and I had her put down two days later.

Between August 16 and August 28, three deaths. I swear to God, it wouldve been better if it all had been scheduled, and if it could have all happened in one day....I think. I write this with tears streaming down my face, hoping you know you ARE doing the right thing to try to spare them suffering this winter. Much better to be pro active like you are doing than trying to will them to live and watching them go further downhill.

[BCEVENTER]

When my good friend was killed in a car accident, this is the poem that helped me as well. Thanks ASB! Keeping you in thoughts and prayers and hoping that tomorrow goes ok for you.


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the autumn rain

When you awake in the morning hush
I am the sweet uplifting rush
Of birds circling in flight
I am the stars that shine at night

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep

[spurgirl]

My thoughts are with you,today and tomorrow...several years ago I put my twin 15 YO kitties,brother and sister rescues to sleep on the same day...he had cancer,she had hind end paralysis of some sort starting, and both were making messes in the house-which they'd never done...it was time,and as they slept together every night since birth,I chose to let them go together.It is very hard,but the right thing to do...

Hugs to you,these things are never easy:cry:

[winter]

Awww.

Leah, so sorry to hear this, but know that it is best for them to go together.

[BasqueMom]

Wow.....letting oldster go was tough enough! Many thoughts and much sympathy. You have given them the gift of good lives and now it's time for the ultimate gift. Just know
we will be there.

[ddashaq]

I am so sorry for you.:( You and your friends will be in my thoughts tomorrow.

[eventgroupie2]

Big hugs from VA - you will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Penthilisea]

1. I hope you have or can beg borrow or steal some other furry critter to keep you company over the next while. A low maintence one, or one who needs some kindness. I could not face an empty barn or house- that would slay me.

2. As others have said, right choice, hard choice. I had a series of deaths and euth's over a very short period of time (Brain cancer ridden aged beloved dog snapped at new beloved kitten- kitten died. Old dog PTS as a result of personality change. Beloved kitten sibling too lonely, so got second (and third) kittens for company and got conned into taking a VERY pregnant feral mama in at the same time. She had FIV and let two of the three resultant kittens die in the first 6 hours, we bottle fed the third for 36 hours before he died, Momma was PTS in there as well...)

3. Better by schedule then disasterous sudden loss. What a lovely day for it too. I like the idea that in mid dark winter in alberta all windblown and snowy you can look outside and think "Gosh! I am sure glad my buddies aren't having to put up with this mess anymore! It's all blue skies and apple trees where they are!"

[Sakura]

:cry: They are so fortunate to have had you all these years. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

[Bravestrom]

Ohh I can't stop crying - while I have only ever lost my beloved dog, I can't imagine what you are going through.

God bless you for doing something so hard and so right.

best wished tomorrow.:cry:

[blackstallion]

You are unselfishly taking their pain and making it yours. You can still make their last hours their happiest and remember it as a good day.

More hugs from Virginia

[SUECLOUDY]

You will be in my thoughts all day. It is incredibly hard and an act of love to do this for one, but to do it for all takes a lot of courage and support. Make sure to take care of yourself and be good to yourself afterward. You will look back on this in time and know you did the right thing and know they are at peace and will always love you for the last act of kindness you performed.
((((HUGS))). Hope someone will be around to comfort you.

[Sobriska]

So very sorry. I can't imagine how tought to have all 3 leaving at once. But they will always be in your heart.
My prayers are with you.

[ThreeHorseNight]

I am so sorry. I hope they all pass(ed) peacefully. How lucky they have been to have you care for them, and to let them go with dignity. May you have lots of memories to comfort you in the days ahead.

[Coreene]

This one's my favorite:

Crossing the Bridge

I stood beside your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.

I whinnied to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you. I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you toward the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I put my head against you, nickered and said, "It's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled; I think you knew.
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll gallop across to greet you and we'll stand there, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there's so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.Oh my goodness, and you can just picture it as well, can't you. :sadsmile: Thank you so much for sharing that. I am sure it made many of us :sadsmile: in a good-but-crying-anyhow way. What a beautiful poem.

[Paige777]

I have tears in my eyes after reading your post - I know how hard it is to let our horses and pets go. You certainly have made the right - and incredibly unselfish - decision. Just know that they aren't leaving you - they will always be with you in some sense. Prayers and thoughts coming your way.

[CHorseFarm]

:cry:
http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

[Gindarkh]

I have been where you are before.

I will be there again. In the not-too-distant future.

It is the price we pay for loving those who have shorter lifespans than we do.

That does not make it any easier.

One at a time is all I can handle, if "handle" means survive. 3 at once requires more strength than I could muster, and hope that I never have to.

I hope that it is peaceful and quiet. I hope that you feel, as I always do, after the fact- terribly sad, yet relieved and somehow better, the worry and constant sorrow and dread has lifted.

Dogs and horses- the truest of companions and most honest of affection. May we always be what they believe us to be.

Best of luck and you are in my thoughts....

[ShowjumpersUSA]

Leah, I'm so sorry. Godspeed Mackenzie, Foxy and Carleton.

[FLeckenAwesome]

i'm sooo sorry! Sending cyber hugs!

it's hard...but you know you're doing the right thing.. and don't feel guilty at all! feel proud for doing what is best for them! Despite how hard it is for you.

know that you gave them a great life and a peaceful ending.

i'll be thinking about you!!!

[ryansgirl]

"Euthanasia takes away their pain and makes it our own". :cry:

Godspeed to all. :cry:

They are lucky to have someone like you. :sadsmile:

[Quinn]

Leah, I am keeping you very close in my thoughts today.

http://community.webshots.com/user/ballyduff

[thumbsontop]

What a brave thing to do. It's comforting to know that they will be together.

[LoriW]

As everyone has said - you are being the kindest bravest friend. Good luck and my thoughts and prayers are with all of you today.

[monstrpony]

Thinking of you today ...

[paulosey]

Sending positive thoughts your way. I hope you remain strong through this difficult time. <<<HUGS>>>

[Addison]

I am not a religious type but the Serenity prayer seems fit for a day like today.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can ,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

My thoughts are with you on this very difficult day.

[trubandloki]

Thinking of you and the brave decisions you have made.

[scrtwh]

I am so terribly sorry. Our final act of love is to let them go peacefully and before major crisis. God speed ...

[sidepasser]

Keeping you in my thoughts today, many jingles and prayers from GA.

[slpeders]

Just read this thread and am crying with you today. I totally understand how you feel about the second-guessing, but it IS the right thing to do, however difficult.
Bless your heart for letting them go together, knowing how hard it will be. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself lots of time to get through this -- it will take a while.
HUGE hugs!
Sheri

[Whoanellie]

You & Yours are in my thoughts today.

Thank you for being there for these wonderful friends for so many years. Thank you for caring for them and loving them. Thank you for doing the right thing for the right reasons although it may one of the most difficult days of your life. Thank you for giving your friends a final loving gift.

I only wish there were more people of your caliber out there. I admire your courage and commitment. Thank you for being who you are and for being someone your horses and dog can love with all their being.

[dbadaro]

*big hugs*

[Watermark Farm]

I send hugs from California; I am so sorry about your loss. You are to be commended for being so proactive and sending them on their way before winter has set in.

Katie

[RoyalTRider]

Praying for you and crying with you today. :cry:

[LOVE*MY*NAGS]

((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Thinking of you today.

[Skeezix]

Thinking of you today . . . :(

[DiscoMom]

Also thinking of you today. Many hugs!!!!!

[GoshenNY]

You have shown them much love and I admire they way that you have chosen for them to be together forever.
THeir spirit will stay with you always,
With much compassion,
J

[Tamara in TN]

Hello all,

I will honour their spirits and send them off with love.

.

and that will be the greatest kindness you have ever done for them in all the time they have known you....make no doubt about that...

best

[jpeg]

Thinking of you today, and sending you hugs and jingles X 3 :cry:

[DownYonder]

Leah, I do not know you but I wish I could have been there today for you to lean on. Hugs to you and Godspeed to your dear friends.

[Just Another Poster]

I am so sorry for what you will be going through today. But thank you for taking care of these animals and letting them pass on peacefully. We had to put our dog down a few weeks ago and it was one of the hardest things ever. I know she was ready, but still hard. It sounds like they are all ready and huge cyber hugs to you during this difficult time. We'll be here for you if you want to talk. You are a good person for putting their needs ahead of yours. I know I can't say anything to make it better but know I am thinking about and praying for you today. :cry:

[goeslikestink]

i lost my old dog an one of my horses on the same ay so iknow its hard
at least they together which i think is the right thing to do as thye would be upset without the other after so long together aand this winter might be to hard for both of them so in my book you doing the right thing peice and dignity and freedom of pain for all 3

rip neddies and little doggy hugs to you xx

[SuperSTB]

I hope everything went okay for you today.

Our Hope went peacefully this morning. It's been difficult to not just want to cry all day.

You have been in my thoughts.

[SmallHerd]

You have made a brave and noble decision. Hugs to you!

[Nootka]

wow I am so sorry.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}:cry:

[blue&blond]

Leah

I was thinking of you today. I'm so very sorry.

I know words cannot take away the saddness you must be feeling.

But please try to remember that you've given them all a wonderful, loving, well cared for life AND a very easy end. No suffering, no pain and no fear.

Take care.

[CB/TB]

So, so sorry for your loss. You gave them the best gift you could give- a passing with dignity and I know how hard it was for you. Time does ease the pain a bit, but they'll always be in your thoughts. hugs to you.

[fooler]

Hugs for being so strong, brave and loving to your critters.
I admire you!

So wonderful they will cross together and be waiting for you when the time is right.

[EquineLVR]

That is an awful lot to endure in one day.. I hardly made it through the day putting one down. :(

Huge Hugs to you!

Green pastures and god speed to Carleton, Foxy and Mackenzie.. I am sure they will all be there for each other on the rainbow bridge.

[Leah A]

Your bravery, your courage, your love...you have always had such heart Leah.
I thank Foxy for her supreme gentleness and patience to our children...each one of them sat lovingly and confidently on her ...there were birthday parties and pony club camps ...beautiful summer days just hanging out brushing and braiding...and...tiny hands feeding fistfuls of grass and dandylions, bringing such comfort and joy to all. Carleton - giving such unique friendship, my daughters challenge and teacher - her start in her new career - his name lives on . He had such heart and humour...his loving way of always showing he cared about us...beer and nachos...cheers Carleton. Finally our loving dog Mackenzie...ohh how to say how much we will miss her...she ran and played and guarded and loved and comforted each of us in her beautiful way...she knew when we were sad she knew when we were happy she knew each of us as only a dog can...when we show our vulnerable sides...we let down our guard...she loved us - no strings attached...I love her so much for all she has given to my family esp. to my children...so much joy comfort and love...what more could anyone ask for in life? She fulfilled this and more...thankyou Foxy thankyou Carleton thankyou Mackenzie...thankyou with all my heart for filling our lives with such sweet memories we will cherish forever...so dear ones until we meet you all at the Rainbow Bridge...goodbye for now...it will be so sweetly joyful when we see you then.
Love and blessings our dear friends - Run - Play - Be Free - Run With the Wind!



This post was made by my wonderful mom

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

Big hugs and shared tears for your losses.

I will go out and give Ted extra hugs and muzzle kisses in their honor and memory.

[Long Spot]

A beautiful tribute to wonderful animals, Leah.

I hope you are holding up, and are getting plenty of hugs.

[gooselover]

Oh Leah, my heart breaks for you....but remember this...you are the LUCKY one....they LOVED you and you were given them as your gift. Jeri

[halo]

I am sure you know in your heart that it is the kindest thing for your dear friends, and they will have no worry and no pain and no anxiety and will just fall gently asleep. You, however......I can't even imagine getting thru a day like that. I look at my dear Sweetie at my feet, and Im tearing up just thinking about having to make that decision. My heart is also breaking for you, for your days ahead that you will miss them terribly. Im so so sorry.

[charlieo]

Not quite 2 years ago I had to make the same decision for Charlie. He was 34. Within a week he was followed by Popeye, the loving "boxador". Your guys loved you. They trusted you. You didn't let them down. Sometimes you just know it's the time to let go. They understand. They will be waiting for you.

[Horsecrazy27]

SO sorry. Sounds like they all had wonderful happy lives!! God Bless you and your family.

[Leah A]

Hello all,

I almost don't know where to begin...I am in awe of the support my family and I recieved from my COTH family (and I now do think of you all as family). It meant the absolute world to me and was so incredibly comforting to be so understood and supported. I needed to hear everything that each and every one of you took the time to write. Thank you so very much for sharing your own stories, pain, advice, and kindness with me. I had a number of my family members, who are grieving the losses as well, read your posts. They were amazed at and grateful to you all and took comfort too. Post #91 was made by my mom under my COTH name.

My friends are now at rest. The day was beautiful, the sun was out, the sky was blue, and the trees were adorned with their lovely fall colours. I spent much time with all 3 yesterday and spent the day in utter grief. The crying just would not stop. I just tried to soak them all in and let them feel how much I loved them. Today, I spent quiet time with each one in hearfelt and peaceful gratitude for who they were. I put topical anasthetic (Emla) on each injection site because I didn't even want them to feel that final sting. I have to admit that my bravery ran out and, although I held both Carleton and Foxy for their sedation, all the while telling them "I love you and thank you", I did go out of sight for the final shot (the fall to the ground felt too much to witness) and left my dad (who is a horseman) to hold them. I feel okay about that as my dad has looked after them for years also and they know and trust him. I hope they will forgive me. All went well and they quietly went home.

My lovely old dog passed quietly in my arms and surrounded by the rest of the people she loved best...at her home, in the shade out on the grass. We all told her how much we loved her and I just held and stroked her right to the end. I am glad that I was able to do that for her. She is such a beautiful, gentle soul.

I am very grateful to my vet who did a wonderful job. She was so compassionate and answered all of my questions.

My final concern is for my dad's filly who grew up with Carleton and Foxy and is now quite lost. I did bring over one of my special, maternal mares to comfort her and hopefully they will bond soon (however, I find that I am now especially possesive of the horses I have left and will miss my mare at home!!).

Thank you all from the depth of who I am for the comfort you provided. I felt you all today...and so did my loved ones both animal and human.

In honour of:

Carleton (Cannington Manor): 15 years together; 1983-2008
Foxy (Foxy Lady): 19 years together, 1983-2008
Mackenzie: 15 years together, 1994-2008

PS: SuperSTB, thank you for thinking of me amidst your own grief. I am sending healing thoughts your way. I am glad all went well for your Hope and am glad to know my 3 will have another to call "friend" today.

[arabhorse2]

LeahA, God bless you for being so brave.

As I said in my initial post, just putting down one was hard enough; I don't know how you dealt with 3 beloved animals at the same time.

Foxy and Carleton in no way considered you a coward for not being there at their ultimate end. You were there during the most important times of their lives, and that's all that matters. As long as they went peacefully, with each other, and someone at their side whom they trusted, there's nothing more they needed.

The COTH family is amazing isn't it? They uplifted me during my time of deepest grief, and those of us who have gone through it join the ranks of uplifting the others who now need it. We understand your grief, and grief shared is easier to bear.

You and your family were in my thoughts and prayers yesterday, and will continue to be. I wish you peace in your mind and heart. You did right by your friends, and that's the true mark of a person who loves their animals.

[Gunnar]

what a day you had! But how brave you are to put their needs in front of your pain! I applaud you for being able to do this! This thread has brought me to absolute tears but I know your 3 are across that Bridge now and they must be happy. gunnar was there to greet them and give them the map of their new lives. From what I hear life is grand on the other side of that bridge!:sadsmile:

Gospeed to Foxy, Carleton and Mackenzie!

Hugs to you Leah and your family! :sadsmile:

[Paige777]

I'm so glad that your family was there with you, and that your dad was able to hold the horses for you. I'm sure they knew that you were with them, and I'm also sure they are so grateful for everything that you did. I know hearing all of this now doesn't really stop the pain at all, but just remember that it will get better in time. You've done such a brave thing; the worst is over now.

[Tazzie]

Leah - hugs to you from Maryland, I just about feel apart bawling at work reading your last email. I know the time is coming just way too fast for my terrier, though I'm hoping he might have a few good years left. I wish you the best.