Tips for Being Scared

[Aspire2JumpHigher]

What do you do when you’re facing a cross country obstacle that just scares the heck out of you?

I feel I’m a confident rider for my level; more so because of my undying trust in my trainer (the fabulous, and always patient Dr. Dolittle :winkgrin:) and my trust in my horse. However, I can’t help feeling a little sting of terror when facing some obstacles.

After some thought I believe it’s caused by two things:
1. Being relatively new to jumping.
2. The instilled fear in falling and damaging a previously damaged sternum. (I can thank my wonderful doctors for starting that fear. :mad:) This fear comes out more when facing a downhill obstacle.

I found this weekend I just sort of checked out and held on when I felt afraid. :eek: I desperately need to get over this. My lovely boy (or big lazy couch as we refer to him) is a wonderful horse, but impossible to ride if I’m not “there”. Of course he’ll take over and go over anything in front of him, but that isn’t how I want to ride. :(

Please shower me with ideas on how to work up my confidence. I’d love to hear some stories on how you all got over something that scared you and what you do to avoid checking out. :D

[eventingcpa]

I know just how you feel, I strugle with that myself. And I too freeze up or panic and ride my horse like the hounds of H*** are on our tail at the fence which leads to a long spot, which scares me worse.

Honestly I am still working on it, but I have found a few things help, one I work with my instructor to always school a level higher and harder then I will be competing. This makes the jumps look small when I go to competion and if there is a scary jump on course, because it looks smaller I feel more comfortable dealing with it.

The other thing is to school cross country a lot. again with a wonderful instructor like Dr. Dolittle or my own Nancy Covert, they can help be sure that any question you see in competintion you have already seen and dealt with at home.

As for freezing up at home, Nancy knows me so well, that she knows i'm increadibly techincal, I want to know in detail how to ride a fence, so if there is one I'm worried about or she know is the type to worry me, we spend time discussing it and breaking it down into, well is it an oxer or a vertical, cause they all basicly fall in to those categories.

I think you are on the right path with a good instructor. the only thing left is just do it as much as you can, with experience comes confidence.

There are books out there such as Jane Savois, that winning feeling and there is one about overcoming the fear of riding. Can't remember the author right now. BOth of these have helped at times as well. One thing they both seem to point out is focus on the positive, not the negative. don't think "i hope I don't crash" Think, I know how to ride this jump, I know my horse can do it, so we are just going to do it.

There is no magic wand fix, as I myself have found (or at least if there Is I don't know it). It takes time experience and a very good and understanding instructor.

[BarbB]

You have gotten some good advice above. One other thing is that, especially for those of us who come to jumping as adults, fear seems to be a constant companion. The trick is not to let it consume you and not to beat yourself up when you have a bad day. I have had days that I could jump around a course and have nothing but fun and other days when I had a meltdown over a crossrail, and not in any logical order and on a horse that would jump anything from anywhere off of one foot if necessary.

I think fear is part of the game. They don't call them 'rider frighteners' for nothing. :D And riders like Matt Ryan have publicly said that sometimes they are scared sick.

Some riders have less fear, and I think that some that grow up jumping sometimes don't even recognize that the little surge of adrenaline was preceded by a little surge of fear, they have confidence that outweighs that.

Do exercises that build your confidence, simple ones, complicated ones, whatever works for you. As you face new and more scarey obstacles those confidence building exercises will help balance the fear.

At least this works in theory. :winkgrin:

[CraziiPonii]

Good advice from above. I'm a hunter person, but I know where you are coming from. My fear is not getting hurt but rather getting over the jump. when I school my trainer won't tell me how high I'm jumping so I don't have time to panic. Closing my eyes(although this is probably hard on x country) and taking deep breaths around a course helps too.

[Dr. Doolittle]

ARGH! :(

For some reason, COTH seems to be sticky and slow on my laptop today--(I'm now on the other computer.) I wrote a long, comprehensive response--and the stupid server timed out while it was processing, and it didn't post! :mad:

:sigh: Aspire, I promise that I will try again later...:)

[melodiousaphony]

You can do it!

Just don't let anyone push you faster or further than you feel safe. Bodies do weird things when you're panic-y, whether or not you know it.

I speak from personal experience. As embarrassing as it is, I had to stop and gag on XC last summer as I was just completely overwhelmed by nerves. This is one of many things that made me stay at BN all year instead of moving up like I had planned. There is no shame in staying where you are comfortable. Once the nerves are gone and you are relaxed on your horse, I think the slope of the ol' learning curve decreases. It's SO much less of a fight against your muscles when they aren't randomly tensing up outside your control. So my advice would be get BORED at the level you are at, work really hard on your dressage, and the rest will be there when you are ready. Don't let other people psych you out with what level they are doing because, lets be honest, it's been a topic of much debate whether or not individuals ARE ready for what they think they're ready for, so take advantage of your nerves and be over prepared in the long run ;)

[denny]

Puke off the side of the neck, not on it.

[CBudFrggy]

Puke off the side of the neck, not on it.

Also good advice for riding with a hangover.:D

[SmallHerd]

Puke off the side of the neck, not on it.

Denny, as always, you made me laugh out loud!

Aspire, I totally understand where you are coming from. The key for me is schooling, schooling and more schooling. I am just starting out as an adult re-rider and am fortunate to have a very nice XC course not too far away. We will school one or 2 obstacles at a time until we are totally comfortable with them. Then we move on to 2 more. After that, we put all 4 of them together for a mini course, etc. And there's nothing wrong with trotting up to the fences either. Baby steps! I know I'm not getting any younger, but I would rather get it done slowly and safely than have to deal with extreme anxiety or the longer healing time that us adults need these days.

I also think Melodius hit it spot on - don't move on until you are bored, and work on dressage. Dressage is the key to good jumping and will give you the tools (aka confidence) to deal with all types of situations that may arise out there.

[bornfreenowexpensive]

Puke off the side of the neck, not on it.

lol! Now that is good advice. My advice isn't too PC....I usually have a drink the night before (and morning of) and then just focus on my riding...not the particular fence. But you need to be over the age of 21!

After that....Walk the next few levels up before walking your course...it will make your fences look that much smaller!! Make sure you do NOT walk with any one who also gets nervous....you will just feed off one another.

[RAyers]

Puke off the side of the neck, not on it.

Gnep specifically noted that beer puke does not stain a bay.

As to the OP, I remind myself that we all walk out there scared. I have had to choke down on XC due to fear/nerves. I remember Lucinda Green commenting that every time she went in the start box she questioned her sanity. Matt Ryan literally would go to the start box, get off, puke in the porta-john, hop back on in time to go.

It took me YEARS to be albe to even eat at a horse trial because I would be so scared. Jill Walton once told me at dinner before dressage (I wasn't eating while everyone else was), "Shit, Reed, you won't fall off until tomorrow! Eat!"

You aren't special. You just joined the rest of us in the real world. :D Admitting what you did is great.

I too stopped walking the course with nervous people. I prefer to walk by myself. I don't even do the offical course walks. I prefer to just be in my own mind. I also do taijiqaun to help my meditation/focus. A long time ago after a particualrly bad crash I even worked with a sports psychologist on my fear issues. In the end it came down to how much fun I had doing this craziness versus how bored I would be if i didn't. ;)

Reed

[yellowbritches]

Neigh, unfortunately, is used to get puked on, or at least around. I puked seconds after pulling him out of the pasture last spring when I had a migraine. He stood patiently next to me while I puked in the mulch around the base of a tree. He then quite nicely, accepted a little girl with an upset tummy puking her guts up off the side of him while I was giving her a lesson. As he is a true gentleman, I'm pretty sure he'd offer to hold back your hair while you puked, at least if he had thumbs that is. :lol:

Anyway, to the original question, if I find myself facing a fence that unnerves me, I think of a few things.

1.) It usually is not quite as terrifying once you are cantering down to it. For whatever reason, the rhythm of the canter, the feeling of my horse, and seeing it approach as I come down to it takes most of the fear away. A great example of this was just recently, while in Aiken. Having not competed at all in a bit, I found myself completely, gut wrenchingly terrified of the novice course I was walking. Once I got out on it, it felt easy as pie and I thought, about 4 fences into it, that the young horse I was riding should have been going training.

2.) As long I really do trust the horse, I remind myself that my horse is quite capable of the question and as long as I ride positively and sit still, they will do the rest.

3.) If I'm really terrified, I just ride harder. I don't mean come blasting down to it at Mach 3, but I do ride like the hounds of hell are after me. I get tough, get into my horse, clamp my legs on and RIDE. I have been told to "take my fear out with my whip" which sounds horrid, but when you are coming down to something that scares you and you don't want to mess up on, a good tap, tap behind your leg really can tell your horse "Hey, I know I'm freaked, but we GOTTA get it done." They usually respect that ride and jump well. A good example, at my first prelim there was a fairly ugly looking trahkner that was shared with the intermediate course. Trahkners had never really bothered me to that point (I'd jumped quite a few at training), and my horse had never, ever once thought twice at a ditch, but I just HATED the look of the fence. So, a few strides out from the fence, I got into Ralph and gave him a good couple of swats to remind him the point was to go OVER the fence. We jumped it well (though the feeling of him catching sight of the huge ditch under the log I will never forget), though, since I over rode it, we nearly missed the quick bending line to the house afterwards.

One or some combination of those things has so far done well for me. Being totally prepared for your level is obviously very important and is always the first thing to do, but that doesn't totally eliminate some fear. Fear is GOOD. It keeps you from being cocky and reckless. But you do need to learn how to deal with it so that it doesn't make you freeze up and stop riding. Teaching yourself to ride harder when you are scared is a big part of the game. But it takes practice.

Good luck!

[eventingcpa]

ok,
I have no idea how to do quotes on here and with a tax deadline and toooo many tax returns to do ( I shouldn't even be on here) I don't have time to figure it out, but Denny, thank you for the laugh! I so needed that!

Melodius is absolutly right, that is what Nancy always says to me, when you are totaly board at the level you are at, and the fences just look way too small, then and only then can you move up. Its very good advice.

And the others are correct, don't feel bad about being nervous or worried, that's natures way of trying to tell you something. and being a little afraid isn't necessarily a bad thing. But sometimes you gotta just do it!

I agree that being a bit more worried tends to happen more to adults, we don't bounce after a certain age, its more of a "thunk" sound when we land. We have jobs, kids, spouces, and mortgages to deal with. (Oh dear, I'm not helping here am I? )

The best thing you can do is get experience and according to Denny, learn to puke to the side. :D

[snoopy]

preperation is the key....I only feel anxiety when I am not prepared for any task waiting for me.

When that does not work....a good heave usually does the trick...though I have a grey and those stains are a real bitch to get out.

[melodiousaphony]

Puke off the side of the neck, not on it.

I'll keep that in mind. For the life of me, I could not figure out why Spot had slowed from a decent canter to a walk but I must have taken my leg off when, apparently, I lost my nerve. I did laugh pretty hard when my ever so empathetic TB spooked at the sound of my gagging. I can only imagine how put off, and how quickly I'd be off, had I actually barfed on him :D

Just wanted to add: now you guys have made ME feel so much better about the gagging. I thought there was something completely wrong with me and that I wasn't cut out for the sport at all. I feel SO much better now, and this wasn't even my thread. Hopefully the winter spent on convincing my lowest-high-octane-horse-ever he can MOVE, with some success, will help me with the move up this summer. That, and Denny pounding "whoah, cluck cluck" into my brain come June.

[Hilary]

Well, I don't walk all the way up to large prelim fences. I am not ever going to get THAT close while riding, right?

If you're scared in general of jumping, lots of gymnastics can help - you jump bigger fences in gymnastic lines, so the other ones look smaller.

Set bigger fences around you, so yours look smaller. Walk the next level up and your course looks more do-able.

I was only once tempted to close my eyes rounding the corner to a honkin' big trakehner. I knew my mare would jump whatever she was pointed at, but I couldn't stop worrying about that fence and had to say "OPEN YOUR EYES" out loud as we approached. On the video, it was the most perfect fence. That mare jumped a lot of perfect fences, but I love her all the more for that one.

Losing your contact lens on course also makes things a bit fuzzy - so you see the flags and kick on. You can't fret about the details when you can't see them. :)

But seriously, breathe, recognize a few nerves can help you focus and puking really doesn't help, does it?

[Dr. Doolittle]

Puke off the side of the neck, not on it.


:lol:

Aspire, you should feel honored to have Denny weigh in on a thread you started!

I "aspire", one day, to somehow deserve that special privilege :D

[melodiousaphony]

But seriously, breathe, recognize a few nerves can help you focus and puking really doesn't help, does it?

I write breathe HUGE on my arm, as at BN that seems far more important than the opt and speed fault times :) Totally forgot about that tactic, but it really helps, as does laughing with the people who find it hilarious that I have to write it down to remember to do it.

[eventer15]

I just take a second and tell myself that I love to jump and remember how much fun it is to soar over a fence that I was scared of at first!

I also think about how soldiers are brave enough to go to war and get shot at and how wimpy I would feel if I wasn't even brave enough to hop over a fence!

[Dr. Doolittle]

You can do it!

Just don't let anyone push you faster or further than you feel safe. Bodies do weird things when you're panic-y, whether or not you know it.

I speak from personal experience. As embarrassing as it is, I had to stop and gag on XC last summer as I was just completely overwhelmed by nerves. This is one of many things that made me stay at BN all year instead of moving up like I had planned. There is no shame in staying where you are comfortable. Once the nerves are gone and you are relaxed on your horse, I think the slope of the ol' learning curve decreases. It's SO much less of a fight against your muscles when they aren't randomly tensing up outside your control. So my advice would be get BORED at the level you are at, work really hard on your dressage, and the rest will be there when you are ready. Don't let other people psych you out with what level they are doing because, lets be honest, it's been a topic of much debate whether or not individuals ARE ready for what they think they're ready for, so take advantage of your nerves and be over prepared in the long run ;)

Yes, this is all good advice :)

For the record, Aspire has been to one starter trial, last fall with a calm, leased, TB mare (at First Timers level), and beforehand, had plenty of methodical and careful preparation (I am *nothing* if not methodical, thorough and careful--to a fault!--both with my own horses *and* with my students! Sort of ironic for an eventer to admit this, but I am firmly in the camp of "better to move up a year too late than a day too early"--both at lower and upper levels ;)) She had a great time, had a good dressage score, and was clean in both jumping phases (plus pinned--a bonus :))

She is riding a different horse this time (a big couch-like, sturdy, "chronically behind the leg" Draft cross who has been foxhunting pretty much forever--so is pretty much phased by nothing); this horse is safe and sane (just lazy! :p) She is bumping up to Baby Novice at her HT next month, and apart from the horse's "deficiencies" in the dressage arena (canter a 20 meter circle?? Why on earth would I want to do that?? :lol:), they are a "good team"...over small fences; he is willing and honest, and she is stable, and has a good basically correct position--she's just a little tense (when jumping) due to inexperience, which is why I work them whenever possible over little stuff (during lessons and schooling), and focus on keeping her correct position, and also her *mastery* of the basics of control and balance, straightness, and appropriate half halts--plus the all important "response to the forward aids" that are this particular horse's weak spot! ;) All over little wee stuff, to develop her confidence to the point that it all (eventually) becomes "old hat".

She has an extraordinary attitude (and works really hard :)), so will be successful no matter what; but she wants to feel less anxious about it all (hence the thread ;)), and all of your suggestions are *most* helpful!

I always tell her that "time, mileage, confidence-building repetition, and "successful mastery of the little stuff" will help mitigate the natural anxiety--that and thorough preparation (my specialty; if anything, I *overprepare*!) will help her *feel* ready to succeed--and help her feel safe while she competes. (But this takes time, and patience is required...That's one of the few times when it helps to be "old"! :winkgrin:)

BTW, you guys are hilarious! :lol:

[bornfreenowexpensive]

Lots of good advice....and it sounds like the OP is getting great help. One of the things that gives me a lot of confidence (and has been mentioned) is jumping much bigger and much harder things at home. This of course must be done safely and progressively with your training....but when you are schooling much harder things at home, it makes the shows easy. I worked for BN jumper way back when...the man would put INTENSE pressure on you at home..if he said "good" you knew you had ridden at Olympic level!...but when you (or the horse) got to the show...it was a walk in the park. Jim Wofford would do the same thing. So when the OP is ready...start jumping BIGGER...then when you get to the event...the fences will look small and easy...and they will be small and easy.

You will still get jelly legs and butterflies....that is not just neves but also adrenaline (sp?)....ALL riders get that before you leave the start box (your stirrups will feel WAY too short) and it usually goes away while on course and what makes you feel so good when you finish!!

[tullio]

preparation is great. i try never to get into a situation for which i am not fully prepared. then i can remind myself.... i can do this! with confidence that i really can.

i also find it beneficial to remember the freakish high of finishing the cross-country course. i WANT to feel that way and these piddly little jumps aren't going to stop me! :lol:

[Dr. Doolittle]

Neigh, unfortunately, is used to get puked on, or at least around. I puked seconds after pulling him out of the pasture last spring when I had a migraine. He stood patiently next to me while I puked in the mulch around the base of a tree. He then quite nicely, accepted a little girl with an upset tummy puking her guts up off the side of him while I was giving her a lesson. As he is a true gentleman, I'm pretty sure he'd offer to hold back your hair while you puked, at least if he had thumbs that is. :lol:

Anyway, to the original question, if I find myself facing a fence that unnerves me, I think of a few things.

1.) It usually is not quite as terrifying once you are cantering down to it. For whatever reason, the rhythm of the canter, the feeling of my horse, and seeing it approach as I come down to it takes most of the fear away. A great example of this was just recently, while in Aiken. Having not competed at all in a bit, I found myself completely, gut wrenchingly terrified of the novice course I was walking. Once I got out on it, it felt easy as pie and I thought, about 4 fences into it, that the young horse I was riding should have been going training.

2.) As long I really do trust the horse, I remind myself that my horse is quite capable of the question and as long as I ride positively and sit still, they will do the rest.

3.) If I'm really terrified, I just ride harder. I don't mean come blasting down to it at Mach 3, but I do ride like the hounds of hell are after me. I get tough, get into my horse, clamp my legs on and RIDE. I have been told to "take my fear out with my whip" which sounds horrid, but when you are coming down to something that scares you and you don't want to mess up on, a good tap, tap behind your leg really can tell your horse "Hey, I know I'm freaked, but we GOTTA get it done." They usually respect that ride and jump well. A good example, at my first prelim there was a fairly ugly looking trahkner that was shared with the intermediate course. Trahkners had never really bothered me to that point (I'd jumped quite a few at training), and my horse had never, ever once thought twice at a ditch, but I just HATED the look of the fence. So, a few strides out from the fence, I got into Ralph and gave him a good couple of swats to remind him the point was to go OVER the fence. We jumped it well (though the feeling of him catching sight of the huge ditch under the log I will never forget), though, since I over rode it, we nearly missed the quick bending line to the house afterwards.

One or some combination of those things has so far done well for me. Being totally prepared for your level is obviously very important and is always the first thing to do, but that doesn't totally eliminate some fear. Fear is GOOD. It keeps you from being cocky and reckless. But you do need to learn how to deal with it so that it doesn't make you freeze up and stop riding. Teaching yourself to ride harder when you are scared is a big part of the game. But it takes practice.

Good luck!

I just wanted to add (after reading this post thoroughly--which previously I had sort of skimmed, mostly as a result of time pressures :)) that yellowbritches--as usual!--has excellent advice...pithy, wise, clearly articulated, and applicable to everyone :D

Read it and live it :yes: (And thankyou, yb! ;))

[AmericaRunsOnDunkin]

Love this thread. I just entered my first sanctioned event, I am 38 (yikes, I don't bounce like I used to!) and I am sure I am going to see something the will scare the be-jeekers out of me. I like the advice here, I will just add that if I see a fence that scares me, I will remind myself of what I am supposed to do over the fence, "Toes out, leg on, shoulders back, 3,2, 1..jump." That seems to help me out quite a bit as I am jumping the bigger jumps now. Don't focus on the fear, focus on what you have to do to get over that jump!

[retreadeventer]

Funny..it doesn't come out that end for me, it's the other end I have trouble with. I always have to go to the bathroom in the start box. Or I get that sensation anyway. Am I too old? Should I be doing the Depends thing now?

[Dr. Doolittle]

Funny..it doesn't come out that end for me, it's the other end I have trouble with. I always have to go to the bathroom in the start box. Or I get that sensation anyway. Am I too old? Should I be doing the Depends thing now?

:lol:

I think many of us go through that--horses *and* humans! ;)

[FLeckenAwesome]

awesome...i love the threads that are both helpful and humorous :)

i too find that a good smack with the crop...often on my own leg, is a gentle reminder to us both... i may not "act" like i mean it, but dang it i mean it!

also...walking the courses in the level above does help. and walking the course multiple times. The first time i walk it, i'm terrified! the second time...okay, no longer trying to not vomit, the third time...hey, this looks doable! and then... if i get around to a fourth, yeehaw lets go!!!

also, i never walk right up... a few steps back and that fence looks a little less scary! though i do wish you could walk the course on horseback! they look so much smaller on top of my horse! and....would take sooo much less time :)

[Dr. Doolittle]

awesome...i love the threads that are both helpful and humorous :)

i too find that a good smack with the crop...often on my own leg, is a gentle reminder to us both... i may not "act" like i mean it, but dang it i mean it!

also...walking the courses in the level above does help. and walking the course multiple times. The first time i walk it, i'm terrified! the second time...okay, no longer trying to not vomit, the third time...hey, this looks doable! and then... if i get around to a fourth, yeehaw lets go!!!

also, i never walk right up... a few steps back and that fence looks a little less scary! though i do wish you could walk the course on horseback! they look so much smaller on top of my horse! and....would take sooo much less time :)

:lol: :lol:

Flecken, some great insights! ;)

[Gryhrs]

Love this thread! Someone took my picture over the first fence at first beginner novice event ever.......I look like a rider in one of those old English hunt prints - I am completely in the back seat and absolutely no release with a look of horror on my face. God love my wonderful horse......by fence 5 I started having fun and this sport has ruled my life ever since!

But I still get scared or will obsess about a fence. I thought I would share some ditch advice a friend gave me. When walking a course she told me to never look down in the ditch - I try as gracefully as possible to jump over them. It seems to help me as ditches or trakehners seem to draw my eyes down...walking and riding.

[Cisco's_Mom]

I too get anxious before XC. I work with a great instructor who also agrees that riding harder and higher at home makes the competition seem 'easier'. Unfortunately, I also get this way when schooling! So schooling harder and higher is just as bad as a competition (if not worse!) :(

I've decided (I say with a stamp of my foot and a fist in the air) this is the year I get my position more solid, so I can ride with more confidence and stability, and (hopefully) less fear/anxiety/nerves! I am determined! :o

I also walk the course at least 3 times, and find that the fences look smaller and more “do-able” each time I look at them.

Good suggestions posted here.... several things I'm going to try (like taking fear away with the whip). I am a CHICKEN about using my crop (even when I NEED to).... so that is a good thought... when chicken I'm surely not riding as strong as I should be, so little smack with the whip behind my leg should be helpful to my horse and my attitude. :yes:

Also, love the idea of writing BREATHE on my arm to remind me. I forget too..... :yes:

[Kairoshorses]

Retread, my friend and I (and I won't speak for my friend, who's about your age, but I've got almost a decade on you) call ourselves the Poise Pals.

:D

I tore my remaining ACL a few years back (bailing when I should have stayed on), and I'm now riding w/o any....and I have two small boys who I'm always fearful I'll leave motherless....so I understand! Everyone has given such good advice, let me offer a couple things:

Relaxation is paramount. Breathe, do yoga, sing, do tai chi, whatever. Or, if you prefer, you can do better living through chemistry. I had my best event ever when I was in the middle of an abcessed root canal on hydrocodiene. Last week I held a four month old baby before my dressage test, and I SWEAR I got an oxytocin contact high. :-)

I've wanted to "do" eventing since I was nine, and I'm FINALLY able to do it. And it's really more fun than grown ups should be allowed to have. My last event I ended up taking my least experienced horse, but one I love and trust. He wasn't sure about the XC fences, so I literally talked him through them. I think it helped me breathe, it gave him confidence, and we had a blast. I forgot to be scared for me, because I was giving HIM confidence. And I just looked at the pictures, and I have a big, sh** eating grin on my face between the jumps. Man, is this sport fun or what? Surround yourself with folks who are having fun--the contact high works there, too.

Here's to grown ups living out their horsey fantasies, even if we don't bounce like we used to, we worry too much, and maybe even leak a little bit. ;)

[Lose That]

I've started walking the courses twice, if I am nervous. Usually it doesn't look as bad the second time around, like Flecken said. I DO however walk all the way up to the jump, usually I try to figure out just how big they are... and a lot of times they are not as "big" as they look. Once I figure "oh, it's not THAT huge" then I can ride it better. Plus they look smaller on a horse!
If I am worried at all when actually approaching the fence, I tap Copper on the shoulder once, a trick Third Charm taught me, to warn him that something tricky/weird is coming up. If it's something I'm really worried I won't ride well too, I'll tap him behind my leg so he knows he's going come hell or high water. Usually he just thinks I'm paranoid. I also like to concentrate on my rhythm and the quality of my canter, because I know he has never once stopped on me when I had the right canter (or gallop). I also know that he is scopey as hell and if I make a small mistake but I have the right canter he can get us out. The trick is not to let him run (which he would like to do) and not to ask him to run when I'm worried (which was a hard lesson for me to learn)!
And like other people have said. Be overly prepared. School a level (or more even) higher than you are competing. Compete at your current level until you are so bored you want to cry. Be confident your horse won't get you killed if you make a mistake... we all make them, they are inevitable. Make sure you don't let the pressure to move up get to you... you should be having a blast, that's what it's all about. Pretend you aren't scared. Get a "battle cry" of sorts. And no matter what, just keep plugging away!

[Ponylady27]

Relaxation is paramount. Breathe, do yoga, sing, do tai chi, whatever. Or, if you prefer, you can do better living through chemistry.

I agree here - and so does my dressage trainer. She has me sing or recite the pledge of allegiance or something when I start to think too much in my dressage. It works on XC, too. I try to sing the Abcs backwards when approaching a fence that scares me. I fell a few years ago and broke my ankle and that's when my own mortality hit me hard. I have two little ones, too, and you try to live on a ranch and manage twins on crutches! That woke me up and made me more careful.

Like Reed I worked with a sports psychologist to get over it. And, like him, I had to realize how much I love this sport and that I didn't want to do anything else (much to my mother's dismay.)

As for chemistry - My old trainer used to give me Bailey's with a hint of coffee before dressage to destress me. It helped!;)

[Viva]

F&%^&*%^ brilliant advice as always, Denny. Some of us actually pay you for this??

Great advice from everyone...one more thought: stop trying to fight the fear. When you fight against your fear, you actually activate your fight or flight response even more, making your fear worse and creating more static in your head. When you accept the fear as just part of the game, you can focus on the job at hand in spite of it--and it goes away a lot faster this way.

Personally, I seem to be a big fan of NOT drinking before xc, therefore dehydrating myself. The nice thing about that is that you don't puke until AFTER xc and you get to hang out with really cute EMTs. Kinda kills the adrenaline rush though.

[SR Rider]

I remember Lucinda Green saying in a clinic one time, "close your eyes, kick, and scream!"

Well, that too, but on the otherside, lots of gymnastics, ...and, for me, at shows I tend
to enjoy having a little more quiet time walking the course by myself first, then with the trainer and then an additional time. In the starting box I relax by chatting with
the starter...something my trainer would always nag me about...but it helps me. I know what makes me feel comfortable... Booze doesn't for example but a diet coke and chips might.

Something I wish I could do more of...trail riding. I know it would help in developing an even
tighter relationship between me and my pony.

Positive visualization helps all athletes...and I know encouragement is iimportant to me.

PS I always enjoy riding in the rain...therefore, when it rains cross country day I have an advantage over most of the riders who hate the rain. Wahoooooo

[Foxtrot's]

So much good advice here, and some positively hilarious. What helped me was the realization that anticipation is far worse than the actual activity. After I had spent a week without sleep before a steeplechase, just as we were walking up to the start I started to look forward in my mind and the anxiety completely went away, I concentrated, and of course I had a blast. From then on I self-talked myself that "the anticipation is the worst". If you know you are prepared, if you have the horse under you, just do it.

Then, in hunting, we had a stirrup cup - or two - and the saying that you can't fly on one wing. Not recommended for serious eventing.

I think, also, that because you know the risks it shows you are at least a bit intelligent. Never was a dumb athlete, that's what I say.
Just go for your nervous wee wee and get ready to focus.

[drmattdvm]

I can relate to much of what you have expressed in your posting.

As I struggled to make the move up to prelim, I experienced considerable anxiety, a sense of inadequacy, and lack of confidence especially when it comes to stadium jumping. At times, I know have almost sabotaged my riding ability by allowing myself to get caught up in the mental pitfalls of these feelings.

And yet, I find myself back in the start box again and again! The challenge of eventing for me has much to do with pushing and stretching my own boundaries and I am sure that most event riders share this perspective.

An incredibly helpful book for me that you may also find equally valuable is "The Way of the Champion" by Jerry Lynch. It is a book about courage, strategy, and winning in both sport and life.

Here are a couple of excerpts..
"Zen warriors were specialists in defeating an opponent when the true battle had less to do with external events than with the battles raging within themselves. They were fierce competitors who waged war against their inner fears, frustration, fatigue, and self doubt. Winning was always more about victories within."

"Being dedicated is that spiritual space that embraces failures, fatigue, setback, mistakes,and sacrifices on the journey of being the best you can be."

The book is very practical, a handbook of sorts, with lots of ideas that you can immediately apply to your riding.

Good luck,

Matt Eliott, DVM

[drmattdvm]

I can relate to much of what you have expressed in your posting.

As I struggled to make the move up to prelim, I experienced considerable anxiety, a sense of inadequacy, and lack of confidence especially when it comes to stadium jumping. At times, I know have almost sabotaged my riding ability by allowing myself to get caught up in the mental pitfalls of these feelings.

And yet, I find myself back in the start box again and again! The challenge of eventing for me has much to do with pushing and stretching my own boundaries and I am sure that most event riders share this perspective.

An incredibly helpful book for me that you may also find equally valuable is "The Way of the Champion" by Jerry Lynch. It is a book about courage, strategy, and winning in both sport and life.

Here are a couple of excerpts..
"Zen warriors were specialists in defeating an opponent when the true battle had less to do with external events than with the battles raging within themselves. They were fierce competitors who waged war against their inner fears, frustration, fatigue, and self doubt. Winning was always more about victories within."

"Being dedicated is that spiritual space that embraces failures, fatigue, setback, mistakes,and sacrifices on the journey of being the best you can be."

The book is very practical, a handbook of sorts, with lots of ideas that you can immediately apply to your riding.

Good luck,

Matt Eliott, DVM

[DitchFlyer]

Aspire –

You’ve received great advice here! Mostly to get bored with what you’re doing before moving up, to prepare way more than you think you need, and to not stand face to face with your own obstacles.

You specifically should focus on the size of obstacles at higher levels. Walk with your trainer and/or barn owner through their course before walking your own. I think that is great advice.

When schooling x country, ride up (really close) to upper level questions and check them out while you wait for your turn to go. This will keep you from zoning into the jump you are waiting to take; which will keep you from psyching yourself out. :(

I’ve seen you take flying leaps over streams and up/down steep banks when we hacked in the canyon, so I’m sure all this fear is in your head. Remember how we tried to break the sound barrier on Jed and Gray? Jed could barely keep up with you two. :eek: You were fearless! Try to tap into those memories, think of your x country course like just a normal hack.

Stop worrying so much about the technical stuff and more about having fun. I think you are a much better rider when you aren’t so worried about everything you have to do; and the technical aspect is pretty much meaningless if it isn’t fun. You will stay on whether you have him straight and balanced or not. Of course it’s a better ride if he is all that, but either way he’ll jump and you’ll survive…and maybe even with a smile. :winkgrin:

It sounds like your body is doing the right thing, you just need to sync up your mind with your muscles. I’m positive your trainer and barn owner can help you feel better about your abilities. That’s one thing I hear they are great at!!

As a side note; Beta had a stain on his shoulder for a while. I use to throw-up while on course right after jumping something that scared me. Of course nothing was going to stop me…lean over while riding through some trees, and its all money! :D

[Katybell]

Aspire, I completely understand what you mean and I think that you've received some great advice here, but I'd love to add my two cents.

In order to keep breathing, I do anything I can that takes my mind off of my course because by the time I ride it, I should know it backwards and forwards and shouldn't have to think too hard about where I'm going. I typically sing anything that comes to mind and its usually the same three lines over and over again. That also helps to keep me in a rhythm. I also like to listen to music when I'm schooling for the same reason. I also talk to my horse or myself, loudly. My favorite line is "Its only 2 feet," even when its not. My coach taught me this one in a lesson, by "reminding" me that the jump was only 2', as I was coming into a large grid that was quickly turning my body into a jello-type substance. Laughing, singing, talking, yelling, counting...its all helps.

I took a nasty spill about 10 years ago and still feel like every ride is a challenge, but it gets better with time and practice. Practice never hurts :) Best of luck!!

[subk]

I always love threads that have smart new posters! Welcome guys...

When I am on a horse galloping up to a fence that scares me I intellectualize: Fear is a self--fulfilling prophesy. When you ride a fence with fear your body left to it's own instinct will do exactly what will cause the demise you fear. So you must intellectually override the instinct and tell yourself to do exactly the opposite of what feels most comfortable. THAT almost always means you need to put your leg on to increase pace and power. Pace and power are the very safest way to jump a fence, with them you make it easier for the horse to not only the jump well but also give him the ability to recover from a bad moment. I think it's the absence of these two things that is usually the root cause of most falls/ugly moments--especially at the LL.

So when I'm 10 or so strides out I gear everything up and go a little faster and a little stronger that what I think is the "right" pace and power and I want to be just a little uncomfortable with it. I know that at least I'm giving myself the best chance I can. (If you then go watch it on video you'll almost always think it was just right and not too much at all! Funny how that works.)

Underpaced and underpowered is the worst mistake you can make.

[DitchFlyer]

Aspire – I forgot one more VERY important thing. You are hereby suspended from viewing any more “Thrills and Spills” videos…indefinitely.

I know you well enough to know that those alone will psyche you out. :winkgrin:

[subk]

Aspire – I forgot one more VERY important thing. You are hereby suspended from viewing any more “Thrills and Spills” videos…indefinitely.

I know you well enough to know that those alone will psyche you out. :winkgrin:
Holy cow don't watch those things! You have to control you're inner video and your conversation. You can't think or even say the "that's so hard/big/impossible" comments. They must all be retooled to be "challenging."

This is why I'm like Reed and I'm very careful who I walk a course with. Pointless comments on the difficulty (much less "scariness") of a fence are absolutely not allowed. Then visualize a hundred times before you get on course how you're going to ride it and how perfect and wonderful it will be.

[Horseface]

trust yourself and trust your horse. that is the biggest thing I have learned while overcoming fear of jumping....

HF

[bludini]

I find it helpful to picture the jump judge and/or TD naked... Sometimes it's more enjoyable to picture the course designer naked.

[lep]

I second Jane Savoie's books. They really talk about the power of visualization and positive thinking. They emphasize getting rid of all negative thoughts because if you focus on NOT falling off, your mind only makes a picture of you falling. In other words, your mind doesn't know how to form a mental picture of you NOT doing something. However, if you visualize jumping the jump well, that's what your mind pictures, and essentially you achieve what you picture. I'm not stating it as well as Savoie does, but hopefully I'm getting the point across. Now, I have to take my own advice and get back to re-reading her books to deal with my own anxiety issues. The first time I read them, I was riding so confidently, but a few falls and time off while I searched for a second horse (and getting a second horse that wasn't as quiet as I thought) have put me back to square one, so I need to do some mental homework.

[Saskatoonian]

Some fun and good advice here, though I'm feeling like I've been too conservative because I've never yacked on course... ;)

I'm not sure anyone's mentioned one of my cardinal rules: avoid anyone scared of the course. Choose your walking companions (if any - I'll only walk with company on the first go, and I almost always walk 3 times - 4 if I'm still thinking the course is challenging after 3 - e.g. my first prelim!!) very carefully. I suggest the "kick on - rock and roll - yahoo!!" type, personally. It really does make a difference. Once - at my second prelim, there on my own - I was on my second walk and came upon a group having a panic attack at a combination. Well, I'd walked it already, and it seemed straightforward to me, so I just skirted them. Rode great, for me. :) But I did wonder what I was missing that they were worried about.

And I'm always talking - to my horse, my friends, the starter - anyone. Makes me breathe. I explain every upcoming jump to my green horses on the approach. Quietly. After all, this is no big deal. It's just fun!

I think you should report back!!


PS I tried reading the Jane Savoie book and couldn't get through it, but still credit it for every second of sleep I get before my dressage: I just try to ride my D test perfectly in my head. I'm asleep before the first canter every time!! :D

[Dr. Doolittle]

I second Jane Savoie's books. They really talk about the power of visualization and positive thinking. They emphasize getting rid of all negative thoughts because if you focus on NOT falling off, your mind only makes a picture of you falling. In other words, your mind doesn't know how to form a mental picture of you NOT doing something. However, if you visualize jumping the jump well, that's what your mind pictures, and essentially you achieve what you picture. I'm not stating it as well as Savoie does, but hopefully I'm getting the point across. Now, I have to take my own advice and get back to re-reading her books to deal with my own anxiety issues. The first time I read them, I was riding so confidently, but a few falls and time off while I searched for a second horse (and getting a second horse that wasn't as quiet as I thought) have put me back to square one, so I need to do some mental homework.

Yes, I agree with lep, here--I successfully used visualization WAAAAYY back when I was a teenager (in the Stone Age :p), and there wasn't even a name for it back then, I don't think!

It *really* does help most people!

I have the Jane Savoie book (at least I have That Winning Feeling--she has others), and I have offered to lend it to Aspire; I found it most useful in terms of clarifying some of things that I already do and teach (and have always done--but not always taught ;)); refining and clarifying them, giving good suggestions, and using different examples, since not everyone finds the exact same techniques effective for *them* ;)

Really good tools to have in one's Mental Toolbox, along with a bunch of other good suggestions on this thread! :)

[lep]

That Winning Feeling is Savoie's original book, and then she came out with It's Not Just About the Ribbons, which seems to be an updated version of the first book. (I know there are others but those are the ones about visualization, etc.) Both are very good, and as Dr. Doolittle says, give you good tools for your mental toolbox. I have to add that the falls I had were the result of my horse stopping due to, I truly believe, front foot pain, and I think no amount of positive thinking will overcome navicular and ringbone! Those frequent stops (which of course led to a full vet work up), and a passive-aggressive trainer who was constantly telling me that I had "issues" did a number on my confidence. Hence, it's back to the books and square one (i.e., trotting so many tiny jumps - with the new horse that is - that they are finally becoming boring).

[Cisco's_Mom]

And I'm always talking - to my horse, my friends, the starter - anyone. Makes me breathe. I explain every upcoming jump to my green horses on the approach. Quietly. After all, this is no big deal. It's just fun!

LOL... :lol: I do the same thing! I am always thinking that the starter and jump judges think I'm nuts. I'll talk to my horse through the entire course... "Ok, out of the start box, nice little canter, weeee here we go, here's the first one, this is just a little table, nothing major, just take a quick look and let's get on over it.….. yea! Good boy… now down this little hill and on to the next one. Oh, there it is, a nice little log with pretty flowers under it… here we go, don't stare at the jump judges, focus on the task at hand, balance, soften, leg, good boy!….." I hear several people talking to their horses while speeding by on course - I think that's great (and again I don't feel so odd about doing it).

Surround yourself with folks who are having fun--the contact high works there, too.
AMEN! :D

[Equa]

Soft eyes! But looking in the direction that you want to go, which would be beyond the jump. If you stare to hard at the base of a fence - that's where you might end up. And counting. Not counting down your strides to a fence (then you could get too worried about missing) but counting up. I find these help, and I am a very chicken eventer, having picked it up again after a 20 year hiatus as a DQ.

Also, try doing other scary sports. I am currently trying to get better at skiing, which I am very slow and bad at, despite many lessons. When I am facing down a slope any harder than beginner (technically, I am a very cautious intermediate skier, ha ha) I tell myself that if I can ride round a prelim xc course, I can ski down that. I am hoping that next time on XC, I will look at the scariest jumps and think "well, I've skied down worse than that!".

[DitchFlyer]

The more I thought about this topic, the more I thought about different things that could help Aspire out. (We are good friends, so I feel I can speak on her behalf.) :winkgrin:

Anyone else have funny stories of things they do while out on their X Country course?

Of course I already shared that I toss my cookies off the side of my boy while galloping away from questions that scared the daylights out of me. :eek: Thank GOD my man is fabulous and doesn’t think twice about it…though look out stray bystanders! :eek::eek:

What do you say to yourself, or your horses, to keep up confidence? Anyone else write something on their arm, I saw someone writes “Breathe”, which I think is great and I believe Aspire will try that.

I’ve heard other competitors talk to jump judges as they approach; I’ve also heard people singing as they gallop by. What songs do you sing or hum? My favorite was hearing someone humming the Indiana Jones theme song as they went by. :lol:

As a side note (and a little accolade for Aspire); Aspire is a wonderful rider for her level, if I may say so. I believe she has natural talent, when she’s relaxed enough to tap into it. She has an undying desire to better herself, and tends to kick herself hard when she isn’t able to do something she “thinks” she should. :( I’m sure we can all relate. So I would just like to thank all of you for your wonderful posts!! I’m so glad we have this board to issue support for each other!!! :D

I believe all these posts are very therapeutic for all of use to read, especially Aspire. Plus, we all could use some giggles. So let’s dish! :)

[eventer15]

I always sing/talk! I usually just sing what comes to mind, but it always ends up being "winnie the pooh"!!!

[Saskatoonian]

And don't forget the relaxing nose blowing noise - am I the only one who does that? I swear it works, but it might be something you have to practice at home. Fortunately for me it's second nature to make weird noises to my animals. Don't even get me started on sarcastic alarm snorts...

[melodiousaphony]

What do you say to yourself, or your horses, to keep up confidence? Anyone else write something on their arm, I saw someone writes “Breathe”, which I think is great and I believe Aspire will try that.

I’ve heard other competitors talk to jump judges as they approach; I’ve also heard people singing as they gallop by. What songs do you sing or hum? My favorite was hearing someone humming the Indiana Jones theme song as they went by. :lol:

I'm the "Breathe" girl, and if you want a good laugh, I can tell you I more often then not write "Breath" instead.

When I was doing the whole local jumper bit with my little mare, I used to sing. For some reason, I've stopped doing this and I need to jump back on that bandwagon. I usually sung the "PUMP ME UP" music I'd listen to when getting ready, think the stuff you hear between the whistle and the puck dropping at a hockey game. Come to think of it, I really need to get back into that. When I was able to get myself "in the zone" I rode a lot better, was able to do the "count out loud" thing that 11 years of classical piano beat into me, and didn't tend to gag-over-side (not on, thank you, Denny;)) moments. So I highly recommend that. I'm starting to correlate "oh sh*t, my horse feels like he's doing this-that-and-this wrong" moments with "huh, what am I doing wrong" instead of letting panic take over. That may be a good habit, practice doing a full body check sort of thing "my chin up? yes; heals down? yes; leg ON? oh, shoot, it is now" or whatever tends to be your issue.

I'm also one of those irksome 20-somethings that asks the older, look like they aren't panicking folk what they thought when the walked the course. Unfortunately, I don't often have a trainer at the actual event, so I like getting tips from people that seem knowledgeable and calm. If they make sense to me, I go with it, but there's nothing like that sense of community and the "hey, have fun!" yelled at you by stable mates to help dampen show nerves. So return the favor, wish people well on their way out, and smile.

As for silly things I do? Honestly, I start tearing up in the start box. Heck, I can get a little chocked up if I think about getting into the box and how the GO moment feels. Hang onto those moments, relish them, it's what it's all about. So that's me, the girl chocking out a "thank you" because I'm just happy to be there and, occasionally, the one who's horse lets out a YEE-HAW buck after the first fence, while she laughs hysterically. Don't forget to find the humor in everything you do out there, 'cause even if you fall off, laughing makes it hurt less. Seriously, after surveying the dumb things drunk college kids do without getting hurt, I can only emphasize that looseness = less pain. So laugh, have fun, and enjoy the ride.

And don't forget to breath.

[FLeckenAwesome]

that's awesome!!! BREATH!! just be careful....cause if you only get one....and it has to last the WHOLE course.... hee hee.. maybe edit it to say BREATHS!! hee hee.


i'm a talker too. except at my last show... we were eliminated...stupid ducks... and me... but whatever! anyways... we landed awkward after a jump...
http://hoofclix.smugmug.com/gallery/4424925_dW5Pd#262591856
this jump actually... you think he drifts?!?! jeepers.. and so yeah..anyways, i gathered my strirrups and reins again, put my hat back up over my eyes... and yelled "We've got it" to the jump judges...so they didn't think i was going to fall off or something... and then my smart alek horse promptly refuses the jump right after. So i think i yelled out "just kidding" or "maybe not" or something to that effect in a very embarassed voice to the poor jump judges!

hee hee. i do like listening to the talkers!
and...hmmm saskatoonian... do you mean that you make the relaxing blowing noise that your horse makes to tell him it's okay? Then you also snort when you see something scary so he'll know?!? :) hee hee. i bet they appreciate it. maybe i need to find out what is "horse" for "those stupid ducks ARE NOT going to eat you, so just focus on the jump ahead!!"...know it???

[Kairoshorses]

And don't forget the relaxing nose blowing noise - am I the only one who does that? I swear it works, but it might be something you have to practice at home. Fortunately for me it's second nature to make weird noises to my animals. Don't even get me started on sarcastic alarm snorts...

I've started doing a deep, from the diaphragm sigh when I make a downward transition in dressage. The rule book says you can't TALK to your horse....but so far, no one's docked me for my sighs. And it really does help the horse with the transition, esp. if I remember to keep my leg on, too. :)

I had someone tell me I should sing "power '80's songs" on XC. (she thought I was too tentative). I'm just not sure which one.....

Get down tonight?

Bang the gong?

Hmmmmm.....

[Saskatoonian]

As the queen of the 80s music, I must recommend Adam Ant, because you'll giggle the whole way around the course, and it has that 80s beat. Try Desperate But Not Serious, and tell me it doesn't work. Also B-52s. Also the Village People, but I'm pretty sure they're 70s. :D

Ok, on my other specialty, weird snorting noises. ;) The nose blowing noise is that noise your horse makes when he finally relaxes. Like as you're leaving the D ring. I swear it makes horses relax, but you look like an idiot making it - lips flapping and all of that.

Sarcastic alarm snorts take more training but can also be effective. You know the alarm snort noise? When you're going toward something your horse is contemplating spooking at, you make the alarm snort first, and laugh and pat him on the neck, to say "wasn't that a great joke? Spooking at that thing!" I swear that Toony would just roll his eyes when I did it - and he'd never spook. You can't cheat and do it for really scary things, at least at first. But be forewarned, some horses take it very seriously: I knew a horse who'd fly across the paddock if I alarm snorted at nothing. It was really funny. I haven't tried it wiht Toucan yet, but he naturally understands the nose blowing noise. It's the sarcasm you have to train, I think. But yes, Flecken!! For things like stupid ducks!!

OP, are you laughing yet? ;)

[riva1]

Great advise from everyone! I get major jitters too, but it's before dressage. I think it's because I haven't competed that much in the last decade.
As I kid, I grew up foxhunting - hell bent for leather. Is that the expression? Anyway, on the xc, I've always been most confident. I can still hear my mom saying - "These XC jumps are SOLID, your pony doesn't want to hit these! Now, get out there and go!!!" :D
And, I believe her - my horses have always seemed to jump better on the xc than the stadium. (I'm sure part of that is b/c I ride harder and more confidently.)

[cllane1]

Anyone else have funny stories of things they do while out on their X Country course?


Movie quotes: find a movie that you find hysterical and quotable (I use Super Troopers, Napoleon Dynamite also comes to mind), and start quoting out loud as you ride. Keeps you breathing, may make you laugh!

I aspire to be like Ralph Hill, singing at the top of my lungs all around the course.

[Little Valkyrie]

I agree with everyone who says sing! if you are trying to remember the lyrics, you can't concentrate on that bothersome part of the brain going "HOLY CRAP, THATS HUGE!!"

[FLeckenAwesome]

we always had the motto "Ride that skeleton horse to the gates of HELLLLLLLLL" only you have to growl it ;)

and saskatoonian...i think you might be on to something for me!!! fleck is kinda goofy like that. i can totally see him rolling his eyes at me like "you are such a LOSER!!! mom!" but...i wonder.... if i do the alarm snort at little stuff that he KNOWS isn't a big deal.... and then reassure him... if i could start doing it for scary stuff and reassure him....then maybe eventually for stuff that really is scary.... if i do it, he'll realize....hey mom realizes it's scary but... says it's okay..she must be right...she's been right before....
i may have to start playing with it! course...who knows...he might be one that dumps my sorry butt the first time i do it! hee hee. maybe i can do some sort of signal....something.... cause as my hubby says.... i could bring in chickens and get him over chickens but then next time it'll be .....i don't know...clowns! my oh my.....

anyways...i'll have to report back on how the snorting goes! i just hope i don't choke myself trying to do it! i'm not SUPER coordinated! ;)