The re-do

[misita]

I lost a favorite 2006 Landkonig colt, Luger, yesterday to a broken leg, out in his pasture. Freak accident. As I struggle through my grief I have the irrational, yet persistent, thought keep running through my mind.... maybe more through my heart. I want a re-do! If only we can set the clock back, only by 24 hours, I'll figure out something, find a way, to intervene and save this colt. Of course, this can't happen. Maybe the larger lesson here is to live our lives in this moment. Plan for the future, but live for today.

I have a severely handicapped child. Nichole is Autistic and has Cerebral Palsy. She'll be with me always. I've read and heard so many times, my handicapped child is such a blessing. I thought, blessing my a** until one day I was in a Wallmart nursery and there a downs syndrome boy was watering the plants. He came running over to me to see if I needed help and moved some plants out of my way. He had a lovely smile, so willing to help, and was thoroughly enjoying his day working in the nursery. That was when it dawned on me, he is blessed! He is truly living! And look at me! Who's the fool here? I've barely lived any of my day, because I'm so busy with yesterday and tomorrow, that I'm missing this day!

I'm going to try to make this my new resolution, to live the day that I'm in. To be kinder and more thoughtful of those I'm around. I will continue to miss Luger for a very long time. He was a special colt who delighted everyone he met. But as another thread running says, hug your babies. I read that just 2 days ago, but tragedy seemed sooo far from my own safe and secure little herd. There are no re-do's. The moment we're in, is all we have.

In loving memory of Luger- July 4, 2006 - March 15, 2008

[spacely]

:cry:I am so sorry for you loss. I remember him from his inspection - lovely colt. I will go hug my babies today. :(

[goodpony]

Very sorry Misita, I will join you in your resolution to live in the moment.

[peskee]

What an inspiration you just became. We are battling with keeping a foal in the oven longer. Mare has milk at 311 days.......you have just made me relax more and realize what ever will be will be.......bless you and I am so truly sorry for your loss.......

[First Wegan]

I am so sorry Chris.

[hluing]

I am so sorry for your sad loss.

[Lesley Feakins]

I am so sorry for your loss.
Your post is a reminder of how appreciative we should be of the time we have with our precious animals and loved ones.

[Edgewood]

I am really sorry for your loss and appreciate your very thought provoking post. Hugs to you and your family.

[Hi Jump]

What a super thought to share, at such a difficult time, thank you for that. We all feel for the loss of your special colt,

Lisa
Synergy Sporthorses

[tuckawayfarm]

I'm so sorry for your loss. :cry:

Thank you for the reminder that as much as we'd like to, we do not have control over everything that happens in life, our own or our beloved animals.

Your love and dedication to your horses comes through in your posts.

Godspeed Luger.

[FLIPPED HER HALO]

My heart goes out to you. I too lost my dream horse in 2001 in a freak pasture accident (fractured scapula). He was only 4. That horse touched my heart like no others have. On the way to UC Davis with him the song "One More Day" by Little Texas was playing on the radio....to this day I can't listen to that song without completely breaking down in tears.

We're all here for you.

[talloaks]

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your favorite colt and also the challenges presented in your life. You must be a very strong person with your faith in the right places to have the attitude you've expressed. Lots of hugs!!

[RheinlandPfalzSaar]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your post is definitely an inspiration and a reminder to live in today, as you said. Hugs.

[STF]

Im sorry Chris! :(

[classicsporthorses]

I am so sorry and I must saw how inspiring you are and thank you for articulating your thoughtful words to us.

Peskee, best wishes to you. We had a mare foal at 320 on the nose and her filly, whom I own is and was fine.

[Fairview Horse Center]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your youngster. Losing them young, before they can express their talent is especially hard. All of those hopes and dreams for their future, and no place to go with it. Very sad.

[Home Again Farm]

I am so very sorry. Sending hugs and understanding. :sadsmile:

[Stacie]

Too sad. {{hugs}}

[Halfhalting]

You are such a strong woman! You may be strong out of necessity rather than choice, but you are doing it. You are not running. You are not handing off the hard work. My hat is off to you for looking forward and seeing the blessings in life. I'm so sorry for the loss of your colt, and I'm also thankful to you for sharing your story. Thank you.

[NeuroticShowMom]

I am sorry for your loss yet grateful for your insight during your grief.

My daughter has Asperger's and may be dependent on us for as long as my husband and I live. I somehow convinced myself she would be magically cured when she attended college. Unfortunately, the experienced only showed that, despite her high IQ, her difficulty with trivial daily tasks make living independently a big challenge. I have fallen into despair worrying about who might care for her when we are gone if she is unable to care for herself. Who will be her friend and ignore her odd behavior? Will she be able to use her intellectual gifts in any way?

With Sarah, I have the biggest re-do wishes of all; constantly wondering if I had just put her in this or that private school, or put off working longer, etc, maybe she would be functioning at a higher level.

Only in the past few weeks have I taken the approach to take things one step at a time, and not to get too far ahead of the situation. When I look at Sarah today, I remind myself to enjoy her quirky sense of humor, her vast knowledge on various subjects, and her lack of self-consciousness.

When Sarah floundered in college, we realized we needed to sell my younger daughter's horse to give us more options for different programs for Sarah. While we knew we couldn't keep Presley forever, it was heart-breaking to sell him. It is hard for me to explain the affection I have for that horse, but I found myself crying myself to sleep soon after he left the barn just before Christmas.

But I am grateful we had the opportunity to own him, and am grateful to my daughter's trainer for the success she experienced with him, not all of it reflected by ribbons.

Again, I am sorry for your loss. Sorry for the loss of a talented colt, and of the promising future that was his. But thanks for the reminder to live in the moment, and not lose them completely to worries about the future, or in regrets about the past.

Sue

[EqTrainer]

Thank you for taking the time to remind us of this. It's very timely to me.

[nsm]

I am so so sorry Chris, my deepest condolences-

Nancy

[mbj]

Oh Misita, a big cyber hug to you and a great appreciation of your ongoing gallantry. It is so much harder to rise to the occasion day after day, and you are inspirational in your determination to find the rose in the thorns. Kudos!

[misita]

Thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences, compassion, prayers, and inspiration with me. Your a great comfort to me.

[Equilibrium]

Chris,
A very sad but inspiring post. I'm very sorry about your colt. I lost a special filly last year at 2 1/2 months of age and I wished for another day to do things diffrent as well. But after your post I think I shall look at things diffrently from now on.

Terri

[buschkn]

Jingles and kudos both to you. I am sorry to hear about your loss. Godspeed Luger and hugs to you and your family. Thank you for keeping things in perspective and sharing your thoughts. It is a reminder we all need frequently, to live in the moment.

[skatepixie]

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your loss. :cry:

What you say is so very true. You never know what tomorrow could bring. Joy, tragedy, you just don't know. Fragility (sp?) is a part of life, and as much as we wish it wasn't like that, it is, and there's nothing we can do about it. We just have to take it as it comes, and do what we can to support each other and value each day. And also to value the people and animals that make our lives what they are.

[SilverBalls]

I am very very sorry for your loss, and I wanted to express my sincere condolences.

[okggo]

I am so sorry about your loss :( Sometimes I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to treasure the small things, but you are absolutely right in that finding that time is what makes the difference between going through life and living life.

((Hugs))

[Daydream Believer]

Aww...I'm so sorry! {{{hugs}}} Thank you though for your uplifting thoughts and insights...and I can't remember who said the quote but I've always remembered the words.

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

[sporthorsefilly]

So sorry for the loss of your colt. What an awful thing to witness, very, very sorry for your tragic loss.

[Iron Horse Farm]

Ooohh Chris, I am sooo sorry. GodSpeed Luger! It is always so hard to see the young ones go, or the ones that go by accident. We carry the "what ifs" for so long. Your post is so uplifting. I admire your strength in the midst of your grief.


God bless you and your family.

[Cinnybren]

My sincerest condolences for your losses.

[cottagefarm]

I am so sorry for your loss Chris.
What a special reminder for us all to step back and take everything in and appreciate all we have.

I haven't gotten much done today catching up on posts but as an addition to Chris' post about losing Luger and how quickly things happen......and not to hijack your post Chris

Please everybody keep Darren Chiacchia in your prayers . He is in Tallahassee Memorial with head injuries (coma) and other major injuries .
Two riders, Jonathan Holling and Missy Miller also lost horses.

It sounds like it was a tough weekend for horse people.

Hugs and prayers for everyone

[DownYonder]

Chris, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your colt. You are an inspiration to many of us, with your quiet courage in the face of adversity. Godspeed to Luger, and hugs to you and your special daughter.

[Mozart]

So sorry for you loss and thank you for the reminder.